I never owned white pants before this one particularly strange shopping trip. I never know what self will end up shopping-will it be the “I will be skinny in a month” self, what I call the future shopper; the “I am fat and probably won’t buy anything” self, “I feel good about myself today so I believe that these white pants do NOT make me look ten pounds heavier and I can wear them all day without mishap” self?
I didn’t even wear them right away- I put them in the drawer because the “what was I thinking buying white pants” self over rode any inclination I had to wear them. The day came when I pulled them out of the drawer and actually put them on because my “I don’t feel like doing laundry self” set me up…Of course they fit because when I bought them remember I was feeling good about myself and actually went with my correct size. Most of my tops are for black pants and blue jeans- white works well within that type of wardrobe, so I didn’t have to suffer a new upper torso look.
White pants! It was going to be a great day- I had errands to run having just moved into a new home. We needed a ceiling fan, some blinds, a few door knobs. Home depot, Lowes and Walmart…fun, fun, fun. I felt like Courtney Cox, she is a big fan of the remodel and I just know she does it with fashion sense. My first stop was Lowes. I craned my neck for a good 30 minutes to find just the right ceiling fan (which I had to take back the next day because it was NOT the right ceiling fan) I picked up the box, put it in my cart and then I saw it, dirt from somewhere had gotten on BOTH legs of my pants. I had them on for only an hour and poof, dirty. I should have known, I was not the girl in high school who could wear sweaters on a sunny day and not sweat. I was never the girl who could wear a scarf in dramatically different looks. I did master one, the wrap around, the layered circular which makes me look like an badly woven spool of really thick thread, even though I watched he infomercial on how to use the damn scarf when I bought it.
I washed my white pants after the disastrous day of the Lowes dirt and the lunch stain. Most of my jeans have the lunch stain, but blue jeans hide what I feel is an eating disorder. Not a neat eater…I try very hard to keep the food on the plate, on the fork in then in my mouth….just too many steps and they sometimes get out of order. Alone at Panera, eating a salad and listening in on the other patrons who had friends, talking about their fun summers and their vacations, and yes, some were wearing white pants, I dropped one small piece of lettuce on my lap. White absorbs asian sesame ginger dressing fast. So I washed them using some bleach and the darned pants looked sort of blue. What is up with that?
One day of of wearing white jeans and they turned into a splotchy mess, like they had some kind of pants psoriasis. My mom called me a ‘Tom-boy’ when I was growing up, and my polyester short sets were always torn and stained, but it was a badge of honor for me…I played hard. I guess that is still true though I am no longer a Tom-boy… I am woman! I think I will weart my white pants again and again, when I garden, clean up the garage, change a tire- I think I should just embrace who I am in white pants. Every spot a badge of honor.
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p.s. I dropped your name on Gina's post, Barb. ;)
thank you so much Lisa, that helps a lot. I know he tried to blame me for so much stuff, but like I told all of his family and mine none of that added up to a divorce. I do realize it's his needs, it just hurts so bad to think how many years he's
That is so funny I have as of least over 16 pairs of white pants…I love how they look with crisp clean colors…but the stories I have o tell about wearing them I too can not keep any red sauce off me when eating ..It jumps from out of no where. Now that I have these white pants ….I find things just jump on me…I One day I had just gotten a pair our of the cleaners and they were starched …i went and picked up some newspaper for a few friends…when i got out of the car ..I looked down and it looked liked I ran into the side of a black soot wall!! I went in to one of my shops that I frequent and had to purchase a nether pair of pants had to take those off!!! And yes I bought another pair of white pants…once I was told I wore only black then I had about 20 pair of black pants…
I feel like woking around the yard more in white than any other color …how come?:)
I like the red sauce comment! Even if it was the other table in the restaraunt eating red sauce…it ends up on me! lol!!
I will give you a secret to wearing clothes with stains……….Paint a design on them and people stop to compliment the cute flower or design …this does not work for spot within the private parts(lol) don’t want to bring attention to that.:)
The closest I ever came to clothing art was in the 70′s when I appliqued a mushroom to my jeans!
funny…..no mushroom here but a spiral or two
Well I have to tell you, a lot of my food ends up om my chest…you see, my chest is not a small one…I have actually gotten to the point where I will tuck a napkin in, yes, I will! I got tired of ruining all of my pretty pink tops…not the pants so much the food can’t get past the, well, you know…Tide to go is my new best friend!!
If I had your problem the post would have had a different title!!!
Uh Oh!
I was just going to add the same thing! Nothing can make it down to my pants, but all my tops seem to have stains!
Aww…you show offs!! I had one day of puberty. I only have my breast buds!
LOL Kim! Back when I still *had* breasts, they were A-cups. I used to use silicone “chicken cutlets” in padded bras so it looked like I had big B to maybe C cups. (Liar, liar, chest on fire!)
But anyway, this is about white pants….. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? I have white capries that stay clean (99% of the time) and have no stains on them. This is rather fascinating, the inability to eat without getting your food on your pants. Don’t you have your legs under some kind of table or sumthin???
(That was actually a serious question.)
Some women are capable of wearing the white pant- I have never been one of them…I have never been able to eat a salad in public, or cereal for that matter with much finesse either…
I am seriously naturally clumsy; I can’t eat anything without getting it on me! I’ve also been known to trip over lint, although I know for a fact that the dust bunnies gang up on me!
Good one- I am using that in conversation some time tomorrow!!
OK, well then, as Duffy has pointed out, my post was just a tad off the subject of white pants…sooooo, yes, I can wear white pants and they stay white because my breasts protect them from above! however, I am short..so… unless they are Capri the hem does get a little dirty some of the time… there Duffy! Happy now! sheesh! it’s not like you never get off subject!
Kim, I was getting *myself* back on subject, not you – because my post began with me gabbing about my chest with no mention of pants.
You did what? lol
I did what, what? (I’m *really* laughing now – is anybody here blonde???)
OH HEY (in the middle of watch tv with my husband…..) – I just figured out why I confused you, Kim K. You didn’t realize I know “pinkim” as “Pink Kim” and I called her Kim when I posted to answer her question asking me if I’m happy now.
Whew, alrighty then, back to my husband now – and I’ll see everybody in about 30 minutes.
30 minutes!?!? What stamina!!!!!!!
OH!!!!
Please note she has not reappeared…guess the old geezers fell asleep in front of the TV!
Well, I am Kim too, so who knew? and I was talking chest wasn’t I? So there! Sticking out tongue here…and by the way, as to the comment about the legs being under the table…if my legs were all the way under the table such that my lap did not show and did not allow food to head there…getting the picture…said chest would reside…in said FOOD!!! i am that short…LMAO
LOL!!
What happened to Duffy? I waited and waited and waited…
I now understand why our moms all wore those awful polyester flowered shirts…it would either slide right off or blend right in.
AND once again Duffy notoriously hijacks the thread.
But, you have apoint, not about Duffy, about the polyester…it washes beautifully!
Yeah, Duffy doesn’t wash.
This is sooo true! On both counts of course!
I wore my white linen pants last Sunday to church, you know the no white after Labor Day thing, I just made it!! Though people in California, really wear white all year…..Everytime I wear white they get dirty right away. I really rather wear black all the time….Same with white tops…food etc. always gets dropped on it, like it’s a target or bulls eye….hehe! I used to get upset when I dropped food on clothes, or got a grass stain, etc. Now I go whoops! And let it go…other wise I would be upset everytime I left the house! =]
That is the spirit, right? I still look at those women in perfect white, unstained pants with a tad bit of awe! Funny thing, is that NONE of my circle wears the white pant- and if they do, they are like me excusing the new stain then damning the white pants for blatantly showing it!!