When my daughters were young, I had a crafty little sign over the doorway to the kitchen that said “No whining.” Whining simply was not allowed in our house.
The girls knew early on that asking, complaining, begging, crying in a whiny tone led them nowhere. If they did that, my only response would be, “I can’t understand you when you’re whining.”
Even as a manager in the workplace, I had a “No Whining” sign at my desk. It’s incredible the number of adults who think whining will get them somewhere. With anyone. Luckily my daughters aren’t one of those adults. They’re not whiners. And I’m pretty sure whining now annoys them just as much as it annoys me.
One of the few things that grates on my nerves, gets my briefs in a bunch and makes me want to bop someone on the head with a Nerf bat me more than whining does is baby talk.
Now, lots of grandmas engage in baby talk. I’m talking about the “Cootchie, cootchie coo” babbling that takes place over a new little one. Or the “Oh, my sweety bug, you’re so precious!” kind of complimenting passed along to boys and girls alike. That’s fine, I guess. To each his own — as long as it’s out of my earshot. But you’ll never hear that from me. Bubby will never hear it from me. Even my dogs and cats will never hear it from me.
That doesn’t mean I don’t gush over cute things; I just gush in a non-baby talk manner. I love my little Bubby with all my heart and soul and I adore everyone else’s little ones just as much as the next grandma. But there’s something patronizing bordering on demeaning about talking in sweetsy high-pitched voices to kids. Believe me: It really is possible to let babies and others know how much you adore them without hitting the upper range of your vocal abilities and using nonsensical words. It’s annoying.
More than the annoyance factor, though, I think baby talking to kids teaches them from the get-go that baby talk from them is acceptable. For, at what point do you stop the baby talk to your children or grandchildren? As they get older, they surely — though likely subconsciously — figure that if grandma can do it, they can do it, too. And they can’t. Or at least shouldn’t. And they definitely shouldn’t do it in public.
I’m a site coordinator for the local children’s literacy center, so I come across a lot of kids. I’m continually amazed at the number of them — children in elementary school and older — who talk in baby talk. To adults! It drives me nuts. I find it not only annoying, I think it’s sad. The poor kids haven’t been empowered to use their words to say what they mean, what they want, what they truly wish to express. Instead, they’ve been taught to depend on a cutesy, baby voice (or worse yet, whiney baby voice), in hopes that baby talk will get them what they want. Or soften the blow of what they’re really trying to say. Or endear someone to their cutesy ways.
Which it doesn’t. At least not with me … and surely not with their teachers or other adults, I would venture to say.
So moms, grandmas — dads, aunts, uncles, any other adults who interact with children, too — do the kids in your life a favor and put an end to baby talk. From our mouths and the mouths of the little ones. It’s annoying.
And it’s just as bad as whining.
Which I can’t imagine being taught as acceptable by any grandma or other adult, not just crabby non-baby-talking grandmas such as myself.
Today’s question:
Which do you find more annoying — whining or baby talk?
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I thought I would revisit this post. I was going to respond to some of the comments but I won't. I realize I wrote this on the wrong site.
By the way..nevermind.
My six year old granddaughter told me just the other day that she is learning yoga in gym class. She said the teacher told them it would help them to calm down and be more peaceful. Then she demonstrated warrior lll and tree pose. I promised her I'd 
An addendum: I'm a little bit of a perfectionist and by little bit I mean a lot. I hate making mistakes, hate getting in trouble and am not a bit fan of being wrong. However, I learned that the most useful thing I could do for myself was to all
Watermusic,
That is exactly what to do to keep your spirit and energy in harmony. Thank you for sharing. Letting yourSelf off the hook is the hard part. Good for you.
I want to share your story with a client that is coming next week who can ne
I guess it is your son or M. Obviously your son is into protecting you from further engagement in a destructive relationship. Your son is right, you did deceive him. Again, obviously he holds you in higher esteem than you hold yourself.
Ho
Morning Granma B, Equal footing here and I did not allow it for one whole minute, including adults! My daughter knew and didn’t do it and I spoke to her like any other person…glad to see you and that’s all I have to say on the matter…TRACK
As always, thanks, TRACK!
Talked to my son as though he was an adult the moment I conceived him. He started talking in full sentences at 10 months old! I now do that with my grandson and he has been using words since 11 months.
Wow! That’s pretty darn good!
We started teaching our children the right pronunciation of things when they were a few months old….one day my three year old came and said of her 3 year old brother… Mama he is “ agabating” me We laugh to this day whenever we have to use the word aggravate.
All three have been good at communicating as small children they were our “answering service” back in the day when we did not have phone recording services and was responsible for us getting many jobs, because people thought if your kids are that polite and intelligent you must be great people…..
I love that! Now *I* will smile each time I use the word aggravate! Very cute!
@:)))))))))))
My parents were the same way…and they would cringe if an adult were to use baby talk with me when I was a small child for fear that I might correct them…somehow though, I guess I knew even then that that might not be the thing to do…lol
But now that you’re older, you’re welcome to do all the correcting you please!
)
No kidding – how do people think the kids are going to learn anything if all they hear is gibberish? They are people – drives me bonkers
Whining? If I have to have whine then I would like some cheese to go with it – but I am picky about my ‘whine’ and have a low tolerance. So – I’ll pass on that one too.
I’ll take the cheese WITHOUT the whine any day! Make mine bleu!
My daughter said her first word at 4 months old, PaPa….. She said the alphabet forwards and backwards at 1 year. I did not talk baby talk, and I can’t stand parents that do.
I know some parents of a 2 year old that call bath time, Tubba time. Her breast are called Choobies, and it only gets worse from there…OMG!!!!!!!!
OMG is right! Choobies??? Sheesh!
I only use baby talk, and very rarely, with my dogs (they don’t stand for it much – they’re German Shepherds). Sometimes my kitten lets me talk to her that way, though.
Seriously, I may have done it some when my kids and then my grandkids were very tiny, but I have a tendency to speak to kids like adults. I have noticed that they respond better to that, too.
TL ♥
I agree — kids respond much better to “real” talk than baby talk. (Dogs and cats are another story … although mine wouldn’t know what to do if I all of a sudden started sending cootchie coos their way!)
Hope I’m not the only dissenter in the bunch!! I did baby talk when my babies were babies!! I smiled at them a lot and lowered my voice to a hum and baby talked. I believed then and still do that babies need to be talked to at their level and find the ‘love’ in the voice rather than the words which they don’t understand anyway. Long story short — I changed my language from baby talk to toddler talk, to child talk, to adolescent talk to teen talk (that was a challenge) to adult talk. All four of my kids have a wonderful grasp on language — they are writers, artists and have lived all over the world and haven’t had any trouble either understanding or communicating.
P.S. I also realized that ‘my’ talk to them sort of sank into the background as they began communicating with others in the family, neighbors and school. Have also always believed that one should raise children by one’s own standards — not others. Good post — thanks
p.p.s. – Whining is so much more annoying!!