WANTED! and small REWARD to any two people that can get a good night’s sleep on a queen size bed. There might be a short pop quiz as I don’t believe it’s possible to wake up cognizant or able to do simple addition. The bed is just too damn small. And don’t protest with the “cozy” argument as I think what you really mean is cramped. Cuddling is sweet, but face it, three minutes is the maximum cuddle time and then it’s “every man for himself.”
Staking out territory involves skill and speed. I like to sprawl around looking for the exact spot to claim. Oh, but wait, I can’t move, I can’t stretch out, in fact I can’t go anywhere. I’m in the upper left hand corner, my right arm is hanging off the side turning blue from lack of circulation and I’m rapidly loosing feeling in my left leg. That sweet person with whom I was just snuggling needs to move over or be shot.
Admittedly, I’m a bit of the “Princess and the Pea” type, as a good night’s sleep involves hundreds of stars to be in perfect alignment. I can’t survive without my two almost featherless pillows I’ve had since I was a teenager scrunched under my head. The sheets must have a thread count of more than 340, and yes, I know if they’re 339. Anything that ticks, hums, or vibrates must be stifled or smashed to smithereens.
And then there’s snoring. I’d like to meet the person who can sleep through the night with a snorer. My girlfriend told me she crams pillows over her husband’s head to muffle the noise. I think a hammer is the better solution. It’s clear I’m going to end up alone.
A king size bed is the only hope for two people to survive. It’s like your own planet; room to move about freely, vote on reasonable borders, meet in the middle for drinks, sex, the 3 minute cuddle, or math. But you queen size lovers when you’re done counting sheep and alert enough, feel free to come collect your reward.
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I would like to ask, how long have queen size beds been around? For the first half of my marriage (1962) we slept in a standard bed and thought nothing of it. Later, in a second relationship, we used a queen size bed and many times felt cramped. I wonder how people managed before QS. It’s also possible that as we age we aren’t sleeping as deeply and that’s why even a QS wasn’t enough. I can’t abide KS. Too much air gets under the sheets and makes me chilly. It takes too long to manuever to the edge so you can finally go to the bathroom. And you feel a continent apart from the one you’re sleeping with, which only feels good if you’re mad.
It is amusing how people managed in a twin bed. Surprisingly not many reports of a person being crushed to death by their spouse. I love a queen size bed but only for one. King size beds are a pain to make or change the sheets….too many trips around the mattress tucking and smoothing. But for two people in my world it’s a necessity.