Damn. I missed the “Cougar” convention that was held right here in Chicago. Now that could have filled some of the long holiday weekend . Instead of worrying about getting corn on the cob stuck between my teeth or choking on a hot dog and no one knowing the Heimlich Maneuver, I could have stood in front of my closet and fretted over the fact I didn’t have a dress low cut enough to attract a “cub.” A what you ask? I learned watching a news feed about the event that a “cub” is a man under forty. That’s what the Cougar women are huntin’ for – the little cubbies. They sure looked cute, fit , trim, sexy and smiley. Who wouldn’t want one ; they’re like puppies. “I’ll take that one and that one and that shy one in the corner.” Wow it’s like ordering from the Neiman Marcus Christmas catalogue, only better and cheaper.
I don’t know if I have what it takes to be a “Cougar” however. I think a push-up bra is a staple from what I could tell on the news. And is it necessary to have something to “push up?” In fact my Mom recently asked when we were out shopping, “Gail, what happened to your breasts? I remember you used to have them.” Is there an answer to that question? I sure hope not. I also noticed the Cougar women wore a lot of make-up which looked nice but “uh oh” again. I’ve never had the patience or mental fortitude to look in the mirror long enough to apply much make-up. In fact these days I try to do it fast and blindfolded. And then there’s the wardrobe issue. How many low cut dresses would I need to catch a “cub” and can you also wear them to the gym?
The convention sure looked like fun. Everyone was drinking and laughing. I hate cash bars however, so if you had to pay over $5.00 for a drink I would have been cranky and sulky. It was better I stayed home and worried about corn on the cob and hot dogs.
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