Has anyone seen my glasses? Crap. I know they couldn’t just up and walk away. Glasses can’t walk right? Of course they can’t, but I think there’s a vacuum cleaner that can. Besides which my glasses were expensive. Tragically, I looked bad in every single pair except the $400 frames. I call them my “no more vacation” glasses. So now I can’t see and the trip to Florida is off. Yes, I looked in the washing machine AND dryer, no glasses but I did find a blue hat that wasn’t mine. Nope, not in the dishwasher which I should unload soon anyway. Hey, they were dirty so that was a reasonable option. I ripped apart the couch which I don’t advise unless your dog is the same color. (Where do I keep the vacuum?) I haven’t used the oven in 6 months but after my usual two glasses of wine it might seem logical.
My purse? Of course, of course! I ravaged it at least four times and vowed to never again buy one with so many compartments. They didn’t turn up in the box with my new darling Kate Spade high heels, but it did make me long for a place to wear them. And wonder why I bought them. The refrigerator was a bust, but in desperate need of food. No wonder I’m always hungry. The garbage almost made sense but yuk. Under the bed, behind the bed, nope and nope. I promised however to vacuum before the week was up. A light bulb when off! They were in a pocket. Yes, yes, yes… I was crazed and sweating when I concluded I had too many , or can you never have enough? Why was the dog staring at me in my wild search? He ate them. After all there’s no homework.
The car, they absolutely had to be in the car because I need them to drive. Glove compartment, trunk, under the driver’s seat, passenger seat, in the cushions, cup holders, nothing resembling glasses but I wondered if the Snickers bar wedged in the back was still edible. I knew the sticky candy cane in the cup holder wasn’t. A friend of mine was at the airport and said he’d look but I hadn’t been there in six months, and it reminded me of the vacation I wouldn’t be taking.
Is this it? The moment that age had caught up with me? And how old am I? Thankfully I’ve forgotten.
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p.s. I dropped your name on Gina's post, Barb. ;)
thank you so much Lisa, that helps a lot. I know he tried to blame me for so much stuff, but like I told all of his family and mine none of that added up to a divorce. I do realize it's his needs, it just hurts so bad to think how many years he's
Have you tried looking in the refrigerator? That’s where I found my remote. Sigh.
Oh, you looked in the ‘fridge already. By the time I get around to posting, I can’t even remember the OP’s text.
Double Sigh.
That is so funny and of course …..sad. They’re gone baby gone . Sigh.
I do so sympathize. Two months after I bought a “nice”
pair of Rx sunglasses, I lost them. Searched high, low and in between. Then remembered that I had gone to a party in another town, and while rummaging in my car for the wine and snackies, I had switched my sunglasses for the clear lenses. The sunglasses, hating to be cooped up, waited till my back was turned, then jumped with alacrity from the car and landed quietly in a pile of leaves, sniggering in the deepening twilight, and leaving me to drive home innocently, thinking all was right with the world. The conniving little SOB’s must have been smashed to smithereens by the next car to roll into that space. HAH! But I had prepared myself with a pair of clipons, and while they make me look like a Texas Ranger, they are more aware of their shortcomings and therefore more submissive. Such are the days of our lives.
And the glasses are they “all my (bad bad) children”? I feel your pain and curses to your insubordinate pair of glasses. You however are way more the girlscout than I….I am never prepared!
I think they were with my ring–which I took off and (I thought) tucked into my shoe when I insanely tried adult gymnastics a few years back. Darn those things–they need micro-chips in them. Well, I guess they are hiding somewhere with everyone’s single socks.
ADULT GYMNASTICS! Now that sounds crazier than misplacing the ring or my glasses. Ouch!