So many women ask me why dating is so difficult for them. What’s the answer? Well that’s easy! We are 50 and over but we date as if we were still in our 20’s.
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Don’t you feel like you were just in college? After all, we still wear our jeans and we still have long hair, unlike our mothers who used to cut their hair once they were married. With vibrant memories of our college years from the 60’s and 70’s still floating around in our heads, there is just no way we feel or look like we are in our 50’s and 60’s.
And that’s why we still look at members of the opposite sex like we did in our 20’s. Most of us still want that handsome football captain who is so successful.
So we go online with our 20-year-old mind and who pops up? 50 plus year old men who look like our grandfathers with grey thinning hair, a belly and a boatload of baggage. No wonder it seems like no one’s out there to date – they all seem too old for us!
But, we have our stuff too. While men are balding, we are finding strands of hair popping up all over the place. In fact, if you think about it, hair removal could probably be a full time job for us after 50.
And we often have leftover pregnancy weight from 20 years ago, spider veins becoming more visible every day and hormones that wreak havoc with our systems and put the fear of God into anyone within 10 feet of us on a bad day.
A couple of years ago, I remember seeing a picture on Facebook of my handsome high school sweetheart who, by the way, did play football back then. I was shocked! The young man I remembered had long black hair and wore painter’s pants.
In my mind, I expected an older version of the black haired, painter’s pants wearing man. Although still handsome, he looked like his father with snow-white hair and a suit. There was no way I could look that old too!
But I probably do. I just don’t see it. In fact, a wonderful gentleman told me this story that we can all relate to. He was getting ready to post his picture online and his daughter says, “Dad, Why are you posting a 10 year old picture of you online?” He confided in me that the picture was how he still saw himself and didn’t realize his face had aged since it was taken.
None of us like to think we are getting older, but we are… and so are the men we are looking at to date. There are some men who are still handsome and have aged well and there are some who haven’t, but as we get to know their personality, they grow on us and we get to know them better.
Decide what is really important to you when it comes to a companion who will age with you into your 60’s and 70’s. Do you want a lover? A friend? A man who will be with you through thick and thin? Do you want a man who views you through his eyes as hot and will love you even more as you age and will always think you are beautiful?
He’s out there waiting for you as one of those balding men online staring back at you from your computer screen. If he seems nice…consider giving him a chance to get to know you.
You might find that this man who looks over 50 with his thinning hair may be the wonderful loving man you’ve been looking for. Let me know how it works out for you.
Good Morning!
Glad to hear back so soon, Flower Bear.
So--the answer to the "curious question" about visiting friends and relatives:
In the General Partnership Agreement we specified the total number of overnights per year that any visitor, wheth
Well now you've really got my interest peaked! Can't wait to read the book. Would love to know what agreement you came to on the subject of family/friends visiting, especially with kids. The little wheel of curiosity in my head is spinning like it ha
Forgot to mention I just turned 50.
Geez….I’m surprised to not see a whole lot of comments on this subject! When I re-entered the dating scene after my marriage ended, I too thought it would be like it was when I was 23….what an eye opener when it wasn’t. I too felt that my exterior reflected my interior—young looking, fit and full of energy. I am all those things, just in the wrapping of a 55 year old. I looked at some pictures of men my age and thought ‘are you kidding?’ No way that’s what I belong with. Surreal and strange to say the least. Well fast forward a year later, after I’ve been out there and dated a 42 year and 53 year old. What I learned from them is that things are a whole lot different now, and so am I thankfully. Yes…there has to be a spark. But that spark can grow into a wonderful flame with the right guy. I’m now dating a man who’s 60 and has some amazing qualities….something I now realize are way more important than hair color. I guess I’ve matured more than I thought in the last year. You have to give guys a chance…..you just never know!
What a wonderful comment ericab. You truly hit the nail on the head understanding what its like to date at our age. I believe this is a key factor for getting into dating ruts and a lot of dating frustration with over 50′s dating. Congrats on allowing your insights to take you beyond hair color:) Hope you’ll keep us posted on this wonderful man you are now dating.
Decide what is really important to you when it comes to a companion who will age with you into your 60’s and 70’s. Do you want a lover? A friend? A man who will be with you through thick and thin? Do you want a man who views you through his eyes as hot and will love you even more as you age and will always think you are beautiful?
Great advice! My long marriage lasted as long as it did due to my continuing failure to believe I was worth the things I wanted in a relationship. After the marriage ended, I slowly regained a sense of my twenty year old self. I now have a wonderful relationship with a wonderful man who shares my goals and desires. He’s a little younger than me – but I’m now looking 10 to 15 years younger than I am so that’s not an issue.
When I got past the I’m not “Angelina,” I stopped looking for Brad Pitt! Sometimes we just have to look past the wrapping don’t we? That’s one of the best things about being this age….getting that concept…and then some!
Do you want a lover? A friend? A man who will be with you through thick and thin? Do you want a man who views you through his eyes as hot and will love you even more as you age and will always think you are beautiful?
I am 59 years old. I have found a man that meets all of the above. I am very excited that he found me on Facebook of all places! He was in my graduating class in high school. He always had a crush on me.
The timing could not have been worse. Both of us dealing with moving under awful complications, he working swing shift, etc. But when God is ready to send you a wonderful man, nothing stands in God’s way. He may not be the most good looking man, but the man that has been chosen for you by God. Enjoy your new man.
Our life lessons has brought us to this relationship. I don’t think the relationship would have lasted if we had met earlier on. Our bodies have changed, but, our souls haven’t.
Good luck everyone in your search. May God bless you with a wonderful man WHEN HE IS READY!