This week Fifty & Fabulous, The Best Years of a Woman’s Life launched in the UK. It has been a whirlwind of interviews and reviews and a fantastic opportunity for me to spread the word that life after 50 is Fabulous.
Shockingly one UK paper, The Daily Mail, stands out in its review titled, “Sorry to be a party pooper but I can’t see Anything fabulous about turning 50.” Daily Mail Feb.18. Now let me be clear, I can take criticism and if you want to tell me even in a national paper that you don’t think I can write I am OK with that. What I am not OK with is any paper with millions of readers supporting the view that life is over after 50.
In all fairness to the media company which owns the Daily Mail the article I am referring to was presented as the opinion of the author who with great courage and vulnerability shared that her own recent 50th birthday has been a devastating milestone. However I am perplexed and horrified that a news medium would think it is OK to perpetuate the myth that life ends at 50. Besides the demoralizing affect such a myth can have on it’s readers it is just not true as the more than 80 women who commented on the Daily Mail article prove,
“Sixty I am waiting and ready ! ! !”
“What a load of rot… l’m 51, and l’m really happy.”
“Your life is what you make it…. I learned to scuba dive last year, and have my advanced cert with over 40 dives. I dive most weeks with a buddy who is over 60, it’s wonderful… I LOVE being 50.”
“Forget about the number of candles on your birthday cake, and get on with life.”
“I climbed the third highest mountain in the UK when I was 53 and I wasn’t the oldest in the party!”
“FORGET your age. Embrace life.”
It is my opinion that the, life ends at 50, myth and the anti aging attitude which results from it is the offspring of our body image obsessed culture and of traditional psychological theory which teaches us that human development peaks at 25.
No wonder we don’t look forward to aging. We look at those years over 50, see the physical decline and assume that also means mental and emotional decline and we run in panic to the Botox clinic because obviously the only solution is to stay young.
Stop right there! Life after 50 is about so much more than your wardrobe obsession. It is finally the time in your life when you will feel comfortable in your own skin…now how many years have you waited for that? It is the time of life when you can life without so many of the boundaries that have restricted your youth…sound intriguing?
To be honest I am very grateful to Ms Hay for her review of Fifty &Fabulous, The Best Years of a Woman’s Life because she stirred up a very vibrant very not over the hillish response.
Keep up the good work ladies…speak out! In a world where mainstream press will tell you should be ashamed of your age , your body has lost all its value and life has past you by you need to be prepared to share the truth with a bold and passionate voice . The good news is it will not be tough to do because that is exactly the sort of strength those 50 + years have bred in you.
Speak up ladies and drown out the myth and pray Ms Hay will find her fabulousness soon.
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I love the over 60 me!
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Yes Track!.. exactly and I predict you will love your over 70 you too!
Can I ask you to share what it is specifically that you love. You look great but my guess what makes you say you” love your over 60 me” is so much more than just how you look
I think we need to share the full message about how rich life can be on this side of 50 and 60 etc to help others to seek those giffts
I am not a loner, but I do go out by myself. It seems interesting that I’m invited to many places from people all over. You really can experiment with new things and not concern yourself with other peoples opinion (unless you want it). There is freedom, less self-consciousness.. You can give of yourself in your time frame without feeling obligated. I am still working and pretty good health. When opportunity knocks I date. I am 6 ft tall, salt/pepper, boy cut hair look better today than 10 years ago. Friendly and feel good about me! I have a aunt (favorite) who taught me early, how to abide with yourself. She choose not to remarry when she got a divorced and she is the most positive, joyful person I know. Want to be like her as I age gracefully. For my 60th birthday, celebrated for 30 days, she taught me that!
Thank you. What you have said here is exactly what I have heard from the women I interviewed for my book Fifty& Fabulous The Best Years of a Woman’s Life. I have now made it my mission to share this good news about the deep confidence and sense of self which grows within us after 50.
I can assure you from what I heard that what you are feeling will continue to grow as long as you breathe . The oldest interviwee was 102!
Haven’t met a birthday that i didn’t like yet. I will be 60 in May and I’ve been looking forward to that landmark all year. I take really good care of myself and if I live as long as my grandmother, I have 47 more years to go. If people think I’m over the hill, I will make it no problem of mine, for I have too many things to do and accomplish and great people to meet and learn from.
I am totally inspired by you and your attitude. My birthday is in a month and I will be thinking of you as I blow out the candles. Like you I have a long way to go to match my parents another 35-40 years! and I may have try to surpass them. But mostly I am happy to enjoy today one day at a time
Here is a little excerpt from my book Fifty& Fabulous,The Best Years of a Womans Life which I was reminded of while reading your post.
A Room Called You
Think of the countless times you have tried to create your own space, physically or metaphorically, in your life—just a tiny little area that is yours. Was it your first tree house or the fort under your bed? Later a chair in your shared bedroom? Eventually, if you were really lucky,your space grew up into a study or your very own office?
Or maybe it is just a space in your head, a moment of awareness.
What makes this room your own, and why do you seek it your whole life?
There is magic in these spaces and that magic defines a room as “yours.” When you shut the doors, real or imagined, to your room, another door within the room opens and there is a glimpse into infinity that reminds you that no matter what you were when you entered this space, within this space you are endless potential.
In this room of yours, you are safe, and what is conceived in this space is born of the confidence and self-knowledge safety allows. In this room, risk is magically morphed into adventure. In this room, the mirrors show one perfect face, one perfect body, because they hold your image not in glass but in the reflection of self-respect.
Very selectively you might invite someone else into this space . . . a child curled in your lap for a minute or a spouse offering a cup of tea. They leave a little discombobulated. “That was nice,” they think to themselves as they wander off, not quite sure where they have been but knowing it felt good.
What if your 50th birthday is the doorway into this room? What if, from that day on, you live in your room, a room of your own, a room called you. No more stolen moments—this space is this season of your life.
I can see you now, dressed to kill, grinning ear to ear, sashaying your way up to those 50 birthday candles with a light in your eyes, ready to take possession of your room. “I am here,” you say. “I have arrived.”
Thank you
from a very “marvelous ” undiscovered woman 82 years old. Yesterday i looked in the mirror, put my lipstick on, and thought about the little guy in the comic and the aggressive girl at the Lemonade stand with the sign “for a nickel i will tell you how to live gloriously” and the little guy’s answer “I have a penny will you teach me how to barely survive? ” i am the woman whose 1st husband( whom i divorced in 1957 )sent me a book recently ,a tribute to the “other woman” ,called “Whosis the woman the legend- the story of a great love” , and i decided that i have done enough, a great career, a great second marriage, a long time joined at the hip relationship with the Chicago Symphony, Lots of Philanthropy, lots gf mothering and volunteer work, and dammit not one public award ie the “Humanitarean Award” etc. And if i get one more question about whosis i will become a recluse. Why do i have to be a sex symbol at 60 (I was) ? why am i always explaining myself”? (i do) No more anything except what i feel like. no more “criteria” no more Dame whatsis! I am free. love to all
mclaire12
Dear Mclaire,
You are truly one of what I call in my book The Women of the Harvest…but who cares about the name…you are fabulous!
One of the women I interviewed for Fifty & Fqabulous, The Best Years of a Woman’s Life summed up the whole book in one statement with which I think you will agree . She said,”life is a journey from and to freedom”
Enjoy your freedom mclaire …you have earned it and I am sure you wear it well
Much love and admiration,
Jaki