In today’s society there is almost no such thing as a long-term monogamous relationship. This does not mean one must have an affair, or two or three. However, It does mean that to stay wed, couples do best leaning to renegotiate who each has grown into at specific developmental junctures. These renegotiating points include but may not be all: after children are born, after they leave, menopause, any physical disability or change, a job or location move, getting older, etc. It is hard enough for most people to live peacefully with themselves some of the time; living at peace with another requires double the effort. We teach many skills, self-awareness and communication are generally not among them. As a practicing psychologist who has worked with couples for 2/3 of my life, I believe if couples considered working at intimacy (and sexuality) with as much care as purchasing a new home or “giving at the office,” we might just have more fulfilled families as well as a more stable society.
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i use a combo of shea butter and aloe vera moisturizer. Works great. I use shea butter on my lips, around my eyes and nose (dry areas), My father swears by vasoline.
p.s. I dropped your name on Gina's post, Barb. ;)
Married almost 34 years…Neither one of us has ever been unfaithful…We are still madly in love… I feel truly blessed to have such a great partner!! p.s We have been through so much together…It has been quite a journey!
Thank you. I am guessing that you’ve done tons of renegotiating, growing and changing. Also, that commitment and communication are something you can teach others. Congratulations. Thanks for letting all of us know the outline of your journey. DL
DrDoreeLynn: I have never been married. When I think back on the three(3) times – aside from the 12 disasterous, stressed-filled years with my ex – that I almost made the mistake of getting married – I THANK GOD that He had better plans for me. In my younger years I actually got depressed because I was not married. I thought maybe there was something wrong with me. I now know differently!!! And once I realized that some things aren’t meant for every woman (and man), I learned to relax and enjoy the life I have. When my ex and I first got together – I thought I was in love!!! Big Woooow!!! He turned out to be the BIGGEST mistake I could have ever made (and that was if I had married those three times). I sometimes feel for my married friends because most of them are MISERABLE in their marriages. I’m happier now than I’ve been in many years and I truly believe that one of the reasons for this is I’m not married – or tied down and responsible for another human being. I say this because most men – including my ex – try to make it the woman’s responsibility for their happiness at the expense of the woman’s happiness. I’m not making myself crazy with the “Why Not Me” self-pity and believing that I need a man to make me whole. As a matter of fact, I’ve actually turned away from the prospect of a long-term, committed relationship because I no longer crave the drama that seems to always come with it. I’m happy now and that’s all that matters to me.
Sure sounds as if your own bumps and grinds have led you to some smooth sailing. I’m happy for you. May your internal confidence keep growing. DrDorree
Yes there is and I am currently enjoying it to the max! It’s a matter of “how important” is the relationship to you and to your partner. I am so in love and he with me that I know WE are truly blessed. Thank you Lord for loving me enough to bless me with partner who loves me truly and deeply. AMEN.
Yes, you both are blessed. Perhaps you can share some of your secrets to love success with others?
Dr. Dorree