Found in Chicago, Tokyo, Helsinki, Philadelphia, Jerusalem, Singapore, Seattle, Istanbul, and seemingly everywhere else, complaint choirs are based on the tongue-in-cheek premise that complaining is creative, so it should have its own arts catagory. Complaint choirs make venting cathartic and fun.
Complaint choirs attract participants and adherents from all sectors. So why not us? Single 50-plus women looking to date mature single men have grumbles enough for several songbooks, even a full-scale opera. If we get together now, we’ll be in the vanguard, because so far, these groups are regional. Ours would be hormonal.
Regional quirks are part of the fun attached to complaint choirs. The Helsinki choir sings about saunas and deforestation (“we’re cutting down old trees to make toilet paper – and then you can never find the stuff when you need it”). Philadelphia’s crew asserts that “New Jersey drivers can’t drive or park.” Chicago’s jazzy group is wary of drunken Cubs fans and cries that “obese urban monster squirrels decimate my backyard tomato crop.” Jerusalem’s choir sings of Israel’s agriculture and its devotion to high tech: “Bananas are never at the right stage of ripeness,” and “I work for the computer instead of it working for me.”
TUNES, NOT TRAUMA
Budapest complaints are heavy on the vicissitudes of mass transit, and Singapore’s banned-in-public choir offers the sly message that in their town, “what isn’t precisely permitted is prohibited.” Tokyo focuses attention on pressures felt in the Japanese workplace (“I hate taking care of my boss when he’s drunk”). Hong Kong sings about political reform, educational opportunity, and societal change. In Philadelphia, singers target mundane annoyances, such as ”I hate men who make comments on my hairy legs.” All these choirs are tuneful and funny.
When you look at the collective works of the world’s complaint choirs you realize how many complaints are universal (I hate my job, nobody listens to me, airport security took my mouthwash.). Singing their complaints binds people together. Complaining as an art form offers emotional release.
MID-LIFE DATING IS COMPLAINT CITY
And who needs emotional release more than mature women in search of male companionship? A Single Senior Women Complaint Choir is an idea whose time has come.
Think of the store of complaints WE can call upon – commitment phobia, lazy libido, scheming daughters, vindictive ex-wives, stubbornness, miserliness, clicking dentures, and reluctance to drive at night. Can’t you just imagine the standing ovations?
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Alicia
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