I remember a sign my dad used to have in his church office. It was a quote from a young man who lived in the projects and it said, “I am me, and that’s okay, cause God don’t make no junk.”
After many years of listening to women talk about their insecurities and watching women let go of more self-esteem every day, I think we need our own “no junk” checklist.
I’ve written mine below and am going to repeat it to myself every morning. I encourage you to write your own and share it with us!
I am beautiful. I might not be Angelina Jolie, but I am still beautiful. If you don’t find me beautiful, you’re probably not one of my special people. So keep your opinion to yourself.- I am smart. Despite my SAT scores from high school that might denote differently, I have the right intelligence for what I am meant to do in life. I might not understand why “blue is to water and gray is to goose,” but I can make people laugh and tell great stories.
- My body is strong. I have legs made for softball and arms made for weightlifting. If some of you find that too big, I would like to say that I will always opt for strength. Perhaps my strength is a little over-padded, but that’s OK. I can still hit a softball a mile.
- I am loud. Sometimes my laugh scares people in quiet restaurants, but it is because it comes from a deep place of joy. There is nothing better in the entire world than a good laugh with a dear friend. If I scare you, maybe it’s because you need to laugh a little more.
- You don’t complete me. Although I have family and friends whom I adore, and even though they do make me feel loved, they do not complete me. I came into the world with just me, and I’ll go out the same way. I’m a 10-billion piece puzzle that has no desire to have missing pieces. I’m all here.
- I am different. I wasn’t a mom that cooked. My kids will never remember the aroma of a good meal cooking downstairs. But they will remember watching movies and playing “Who am I?” and singing “Cecilia” by Simon & Garfunkel at the top of their lungs.
- Words will never hurt me. I’ve finally learned that hurtful words come from somebody else’s pain. They don’t belong to me. So I deflect them like Wonder Woman, and I hold up my magical wristbands and send the pain to the person from whom it came.
Please share your own checklist. If I get enough, we can create an e-book.
In the meantime, remember:
We are glorious.
We are funny.
We are beautiful.
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Yes I get that you meant in the work place, not dating. But the original poster did use the example of Julia Roberts getting what she wants from a man by using her femininity. I don't see that as strong. As you know she was a hooker? This comparison 
I am “wise” which is different from “smart” and takes the ability to know when to listen not talk….I am curvaceous not what some label big-boned and perfectly comfortable with that! I am a person you would enjoy knowing because laughter is part of my daily routine. I think L-O-V-E is the best 4 letter word in the dictionary!
I am enough. I don’t have to measure up or prove myself to anyone.
I am loved. I am deeply and profoundly loved by God and for that I am eternally grateful.
Watermusic: Beautiful response. Being loved and loved by God is something for which we, amazingly, will be able to BE eternally grateful. Thank you!
Debi: I love your attitude, and know that all of us are drawn to people who laugh. Laughter is my favorite thing. And laughter surrounded by love is heaven. Thank you for your comment – your wisdom is showing
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This is good stuff! In the research I did for my book about women over 50, I found that we reach a point where we don’t care as much about what other people think of us. Many, many women told me that they are now more comfortable in their own skin than when they were younger. I think Debi’s comment about us being wise is accurate based on what I learned in my interviews. Also, we’re a happy and optimistic group, which given our culture’s obsession with being young, surprised me.
Mary H: Thanks so much for your comments – what is your book? I would love to read it!
It’s called: If No One’s Looking, Do We Have to Try as Hard? The title is based on an interview with someone who talked about women becoming invisible to society as we age. You can find it on Amazon, Barnes & Noble.com and several other book sites.
I never cared what anyone thought and joined the army right out of high school (lots of people told me scare stories, but I ignored them)…..I was born standin’ up and talkin’ back. If it werent for my faith wicked wit and sense of humor, I would be drooling in a corner!
Used my life experiences of overcoming a lifetime (except for 3 years in the ary) of poverty, abuse, molestation, etc…..and won a scholarship and am a Freshman at 65!
Alicia: I LOVE you and your story!! How incredibly strong you are; a Dame in the truest sense of the word. I would love to tell your story in a blog. I like to profile strong women. Let me know if you’re interested!