Warning: This posting contains adult material that may not be suitable for younger readers

I remember the first time I bought a steam mop. I’d seen it on an infomercial and it looked just great. But then, what doesn’t look great on an infomercial? Anyway, I ran over to Bed, Bath and Beyond, plunked down $100.00 (counting tax) and home I went. Anyway, the Shark didn’t live up to the hype. Perhaps they had pretend dirt on the floor. Maybe it was actually just airbrushed to look like dirt. At any rate, the Shark went back to the store.

I didn’t even think about getting another one for quite awhile. Evelyn actually bought one first and I borrowed hers. I filled it up, plugged it in and waited. It sounded like I was being attacked by a pack of cobras. The hissing was loud and impressive; but how was it really going to work? Well, it worked like a champ. It cut a swath through the dirt on my tile floors like a hot knife through butter. If your floors are truly dirty (dog dirty) you have to change out the washable pad on the bottom while your are mopping the one room. It’s a bit of a pain, but so worth it. With 6 dogs, 3 big and 3 small, my den floor gets seriously nasty looking very quickly.

Since I was so impressed with Evelyn’s mop I decided to buy one myself. I drug an old sofa out yesterday and put it on the back patio. I would’ve taken it all the way to the street but Doug has the front porch all covered with power tools. (Go figure). I’d only asked him to do it for the last few weeks. I’m not going to leave the sofa out back. I’ll harass Doug enough tomorrow to take it to the curb tomorrow night. A gentle “Would you please?” just seems to fall on deaf ears these days.

With that janky old couch out, I got busy with my mop. I sat in the den last night petting furry heads and admiring my less cluttered and definitely cleaner den. It was so much more relaxing in there. Do you know what Doug said today? It wasn’t “Gee thanks Honey, it looks nice.” or “I know you worked hard.” I got ” That wasn’t important you know.” That set me off like I had a roman candle up my wazoo and lucky for him he picked up on it. I swear this man is making me crazy. Lucky for me I see my doc in the morning. I think I’ll see if he can refer me to a therapist.  Something needs to change before I wind up with bars on my windows and a husband named Shelia.

Doug left for a couple of hours and just returned with a small bunch of tulips. No “I’m sorry for being so condescending.” If I didn’t like flowers so much. I’d pelted him over the head with them. Then I was asked, “Are things just going to be tense here for a couple of days?” Men…

BTW- In the interest of full disclosure I must say that Doug is cooking dinner tonight; and he does clean from time to time. However, tonight this card  just sums up my feelings about him. Sorry if anyone is offended.

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