Doug had finally come to grips with the fact that I will be teaching my class at our house.
My friend The Pink Wrangler who has the blog Funny in the Head, helped me track down the woman who I saw on TV many years ago who did this very thing. That same woman now charges $750.00/ per hour, for private, one-on-one lessons. After hearing that, Doug became more agreeable. Go figure.
Since I’ve finally committed to this, wholeheartedly I went ahead and ordered a couple of books on the subject. I mean you can never be too well informed on any one subject can you?
I took the advice of one of my favorite friends from Vibrant Nation and ordered the book Sex tips for Straight Women from a Gay Man. I haven’t read it yet, but I will soon. The front cover is really campy, like a poster for a trashy movie from the 50′s. I bet it’s going to be a hoot.
I also ordered Oral Sex He’ll Never Forget- 52 positions and techniques guaranteed to blow your man away. I don’t think there are really all that many different positions; but it should make for an interesting read. I’ll let you know later.
I know I won’t advocate any position that requires a person to be double jointed or do home renovation. I figure I need to keep things somewhat in the realm of reality!
Thank goodness Doug has volunteered his services to let me test any new found knowledge on him. What a guy!
I’m still really up in the air about how to get the word out about class. I’m percolating on it. I might talk to my two female neighbors; but I really don’t them well enough to discuss this. If they’re all uptight, I’d hate to become the neighborhood pariah. I think I’d really rather approach complete strangers, but would that be strange?
I’m excited because now I’ll be able to justify having a maid. I plan to make some cool munchies and a pitcher of sangria. I think it will really be fun. I’m going to keep it light. It’s not brain surgery after all.
I’m still looking for a tag line and marketing ideas; so please keep your ideas heading my way.
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i use a combo of shea butter and aloe vera moisturizer. Works great. I use shea butter on my lips, around my eyes and nose (dry areas), My father swears by vasoline.
p.s. I dropped your name on Gina's post, Barb. ;)
M, Doug, what a guy, willing, helpful, smiling all the way, hahaha! The class should be interesting, dammit…TRACK
He is always Mr. Helpful! I think the class it going to be really great if I can just figure out how to get out the word with the limited number of girlfriends I have here in town.
M, Private message…TRACK
will go now.
It didn’t show up Miss Track. Pls resend. I’ll get it in a bit. I’m off to Evelyn’s. Thanks.
That Doug, he just amazes me. I am SO impressed with his willingness to be your experimental subject. (I’m also cracking up.) I hope you realize you’re going to get outraged p.m.’s from up-tight women? Those of us who “get” you will help you deal with them if you’d like. And I’d love to help you with your tag line and marketing ideas, but I’m drawing a blank. Living in Cornfield-Cowtown, Illinois doesn’t lend itself to being “up” on these things. (I just snorted.)
(P.S. A maid? Really? A MAID! Personally, I just want a once-a-week cleaning lady SO badly. Used to have one when I worked, want one again so I can retire from that while I continue to cook good meals every evening. I need to do some marketing of my own so I can find people who’ll hire me to clean all the crap off their computers and make them zippier and happier. Then I could make my own dream come true by spending that money on paying someone to be my magical house-cleaning fairy.)
you must print some great cards and leave them in Retirement complexes. Usually the community center. Make the cards interesting, eye catching.
At first I thought you were talking to me.LOL!
So did I! Gufawwwww. If that’s the case I wanna retire to wherever it is that Lynnette lives.
Be happy.
I thought she was, too! LMAO, that’s SO funny. Lynnette, I’d like to apologize to you for thinking you’d temporarily lost your mind suggesting that to meigler. I am SO cracking up!!!
I’m thinking…. I don’t think we have any retirement complexes within 20 miles of me in any given direction…. although if I can’t find people in the tiny two towns I live near, I guess maybe I could branch out…. But that’s a long drive when I’d be planning to pick up their computers and bring them back to my house…. I dunno, we’ll see.
MEIGLER! I’d like to once again apologize for accidentally taking over your blog thread. I’m now going to get the whole house picked up so it doesn’t look so bad when stepson and fiance get here for supper. OHMMMMMMMMMMMM……
Oh pls, like I care.
Well, you know….. I was just buying points – acting all sweet and stuff.
I know, I know. You’re just wanting to kick some butt. You’ve been in Podunk IL for too long.
OMG, don’t you just know it. I’ve always hated Illinois with the heat and humidity. (I know it’s nothing compared to yours, but it still makes me pass out if I’m outside in it.) I moved to Colorado when I was 21, intended to NEVER come back here….
Got sick, had to spend a month or two in bed, which meant flying back to IL and staying with my parents TEMPORARILY…. Met Jim, fell in love, and now I’m stuck back here in Illinois forever. THAT’S JUST NOT RIGHT!!!
You mean you don’t just love wearing gingham dresses and Maryjane’s all the time with a piece of wheat stuck between your teeth? Where’s you live in CO?
Englewood, Denver itself, just Denver suburbs. For 6 years, age 21 to 27. I *LOVED* it – had so much fun, made such good, crazy friends. Went back there in 1990 with Jim – omg, it had grown insanely and the whole experience was disconcerting. Fortunately we were staying in a cabin up in the mountains – in Evergreen. Do you know Colorado?
I do not wear gingham dresses, and that’s a piece of STRAW between my teeth, thank you very much.
Wheat-straw- they’re both golden aren’t they? I know CO pretty well. Brett went to Moncrief Mountain Ranch for 3 years in Lake City, about 50 miles from Gunnison. The Dr. who helped develop portable dialysis took milions of his own $$ and started a camp for kids with devastating illnesses- transplant kids, pre-post, heart conditions, etc. Brett was his first post- stroke kid.One summer Doug and I went and volunteered for the duration of the camp. It was great!
I had seen the Dr. on a segment of 20-20. Brett got to go the next year, all expenses paid. It’s a long story. Then for a number of years we did festivals all over the state- People’s Fair in Denver, all the balloon festivals, art shows in Steamboat, Breckenridge, Crested Butte, Snowmass, Frisco, Carbondale… I can’t even remember them all. We spent one whole summer there. The kids were teenagers then.
So it was 2 teens, 3 big dogs, Doug and myself travelling all summer in a Suburban packed like the Joads in the Grapes of Wrath.
Wow – now that sounds like an adventure – both Brett’s original stay(s) at the Moncrief Mountain Ranch, and also all of you spending a whole summer there when the kids were teens. I’m gonna google this place, because I’m extremely impressed with everything in your first paragraph and the fact that Brett got to go there all expenses paid.
Yay for Dr. Moncrief. (The camp is no longer operating, btw – don’t know why or what happened, but it made me a little sad for a minute there.)
His wife got cancer and he retired from the camp to be with her in Austin. I don’t know if she’s still around or not. He”s still there. He was a great guy.
Somebody set up a website as “natureboy” just for a way for people to e-mail him and keep in touch. Or if you click on “Camp Memories, it takes you to a Facebook page he’s set up.
I just googled Dr. Jack Moncrief and he’s still in practice in Austin. Now, that was nice to see.
I’m just talking about once a week too. But it will be soooo nice. I’m not loving my Pergo as much as I thought since we have so many dogs. Please keep percolating on the tag line and some marketing strategies. I’ve got an idea for your biz. I’ll email you later kiddo. I may get more outrages uptight PM’s and may need your help. I’ll let you know. Perhaps, you, Namaste, Lynette, Track and Yakkity can help me overturn the poor, repressed, cranky souls!
“I may get more outrages uptight PM’s and may need your help. I’ll let you know. Perhaps, you, Namaste, Lynette, Track and Yakkity can help me overturn the poor, repressed, cranky souls!”
==================================
Bring ‘em onnnnnn. It’s 93 degrees here, I’m apartmen-tbound on account of the heat, and the dog just threw up. Bring ‘em on.
“Nature’s Miracle” is our friend.
Be happy.
We’re babysitting my stepson’s HUGE (but really sweet) Golden Retreiver who’s shedding hair everywhere. I’m with you, yakkity – bring ‘em on!
I lost my Golden 5 years ago now. He was the love of my life. I’m glad to know my troops stand ready should I need them!
93! Yikes. I was hoping it’d be cooler there then here when I get there. It’s not looking like that’s going to happen.
“Do they feel lucky, then make my day!” Eastwood…TRACK
P.S. I want both books, there that’s better….
“I’m not loving my Pergo as much as I thought since we have so many dogs.”
Oh boy, meigler, do I get what you said. We used a $20,000 inheritance (hubby’s Mom’s estate) to remodel our whole house a year and a half ago. We used to have linoleum in the kitchen, laundry room and entry-way that showed everything and carpeting in the rest of the house that showed NOTHING.
We now have ceramic tile in the kitchen, laundry room, entry-way and bathrooms that shows nothing – and gorgeous, dark reddish oak hardwood floors in the whole rest of the house that shows literally EVERYTHING. Even if you vacuum and mop the floors, you can almost immediately see every speck of dust that settles, every hair that drops off my head, every footprint, our exact traffic patterns through the whole house…..
I’m not loving our hardwood flooring at ALL. In fact, I hate it so much I’ve all but quit cleaning the house at all. (Well, okay – that started while I was going through radiation last summer and couldn’t use my left arm at all, but still….) I HATE MY FLOORING. I’d never have picked out a gorgeous deep red shade if only I’d known. And in fact, I might have fought Jim over hardwood flooring at all…..
And then there are the things one should remember that are truly important, like banishing all negative thoughts….. ***sigh*** I’ll go meditate now.
OMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM……………………..
Duffy M: computercleaningfairy.com comes to mind. You’re so good at answering your own questions.
Sorry to go OT, meigler. I still like your original line “the way to a man’s stomach…”
You might start with your circle of friends for the first session and then offer them a discount for every new person they bring in. Also, consider creating a MeetUp Group for your classes; many of those groups charge for their meetings and you get a message board and events schedule as well. Here’s one in Houston that might serve as template for your classes. I think the cost of hosting up to three MeetUp Groups is something like $30 per month.
I so <3 Doug.
Be happy.
yakkity – I got immediately curious, googled computercleaningfairy.com – and there’s no such website. Help please? I can’t figure out how that website would be helpful to me from the name, since I already know how to clean all the crap off people’s computers and then install software that’ll help them keep it off. But maybe it’s about something else entirely?
Duffy M I was suggesting that domain name for your company (based on your comment about a house-cleaning fairy, why not be a computer-cleaning fairy?) if you decide to go online with it. Sorry I wasn’t clear–it’s the heat, it’s the heat.
Have you seen the new vacuum cleaner that has an attachment for dogs, I think it’s by Bissell, but then again I can hear your stepson saying “You vacuumed my DOG?”
Be happy.
We rarely have sweet Brinkley here, but thanks for the suggestion of vacuuming him, LMAO!!! And thanks also for the suggestion for a domain name if I were to go online. I was thinking more in terms of sticking notices up in the local grocery store and pharmacy in the tiny little town I live near, though. (I refuse to leave the a/c in this weather, btw!!!)
I’ve vacuumed Brett’s pom. He was into it.
I heard Brett’s pom is kinky. And I thought you were at Evelyn’s.
Little Bit is kinky. He likes to roll in your hair when it’s freshly washed. He has a hair fetish.
I’m at Evelyn’s and she just led me a three of hearts- no big deal but I was going NELLO!
Doug is being so smug. What a shit!
i think she is suggesting a name for your company.
I will check into that. Thanks, Yakkity. I love Doug too. He’s a trip.
So i guess this class is about SEX TECHNIQUES? Well, you must also write Carmen Electra about her pole dancing since that will be the introduction to the whole “date”.
That’s what it is. Specifically fellatio. Apparently there are many, many women who just don’t know how to do this. Me, pole dancing? People would run with scissors in traffic and try to gouge their eyes out.
OMG – you said fellatio. Here come the poor up-tight, repressed, cranky souls.
with their tongues hanging out…..
Their problem, not mine.
Need a research assistant, lab rat, product tester?????????
I’ll definitely keep you in mind Miss Namaste.
I work CHEAP, you know (shut up, Duffy)
Perhaps you can run my school in your area. I’ll be like University of Phoenix!
YESYESYESYESYESYESYES!!!!!
Boy is this a nippy bunch today!!!…TRACK…L.O.L.
must be the heat…hmmm?
I like it. I didn’t get your PM, pls re-send.
We’re nippy? What’s “nippy” mean?
I am SO confused. First you wanna offer to be a research assistant, lab rat, product tester IN A FELLATIO CLASS, HELLO – and now you’re saying you’re CHEAP. No way can I shut up. Nope. I mean, what the hell are they gonna use you for in that class, Namaste? I’m looking at you very, very oddly now.
LOVE YOUR SPIRIT…TRACK
))
how very kind of you to call it “SPIRIT”…the nuns called it “SIN”
That’s why they were always cranky.
OH WELL!!!…TRACK
how did this idea enter your brain? I was never good at it. So are you going to post techniques?
Come to my class after you do Disney.
“DO” Disney?!?!?! You really are kinky, meigler!
Oh Mickey, Goofy wants to come too? Ewwwwww.
Can you pls let Track know I didn’t get her PM? Thanks.
Remember when Doug was bugging me to get a job? I’m really good at three things. This was one of them. I don’t think VN would let me post them here.
I have amazingly wonderful memories of just how awesomely good I was at fellatio, which oddly enough I didn’t know about myself until after I met Jim. In fact, years ago he and I decided in a previous life I must have been a famous concubine of some king or whatever. We used to get pretty silly about it….. Ahhhh the memories. Not that I’m bragging or anything. (**snort**)
So meigler, what are the other two things? Do they involve sex, too?
I’ll bet one of them involves chocolate chip cookie dough … RAW chocolate chip cookie dough.
Be freaky.
Strangely enough, in that book you recommended the author mentions practicing your hand positions on a tube of cookie dough.
If I have to keep that here all the time, it’s going to be bad. We’ll have to put on masks like Hannibal Lecter so we don’t get into the tube. (But then that brings up a whole new subject.) LOL
No, no. Just painting/drawing, cooking and making people laugh it seems..
I think you were in one of my classes in a former life. Or was it that I was in yours? It was awhile back, and you know how my memory is. LOL
That’s why everyone should go to
http://bodaciousboomer.com/
and click, click, click away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for your help Namaste. Besides, then everyone can read all the other insane details of my life. Just please remember to occasionally Amplify a posting or put it on your Facebook page. I do realize that it’s a lot to ask, but what a difference people can make for me with about an extra 5 min. a day of their time. Believe it or not, I know of a woman who’s blog is only 1 year old. Do you know how many hits she gets per month? TWO MILLION!!!
(One blogger I know, waits 2-3 days before posting her new stuff on VN, That way, if her readers want to know what’s new each day, they have to go to her site.)
Hey, good news for your class, read the blog: Oral Sex and Breast Cancer by Beverly Mahone.
Thank you for that. I will check it out for sure.