Has anybody seen my libido? Embarrassing as it is to admit that I’ve lost it, I have. I seem to have misplaced it; or perhaps it ran away from home. Maybe it was kidnapped. I’m not sure what happened to it. All I know is we can’t find it. We always treated it well. Doug even lost 15 lbs recently. (That surely should’ve kept it interested). I can’t believe it just up and left; we’ve been together for so long. So that means either I left it someplace and can’t remember where or it was kidnapped. I’ll admit that I occasionally move something and later can’t remember where I left it. I’m only human after all- and menopausal, give me a break.
Usually with things so valuable I make a mental note, or even write a Post-it, something to help me so I can remember where I’ve placed something valuable. (Sadly, occasionally I seem to have written the note with invisible ink). I only have a couple of nice, AKA not costume, pieces of jewelery and that’s OK with me. A couple of years ago I thought it’d be a good thing to put the earrings somewhere “safe”. They were safe all right. So safe I didn’t know where they were for over a year.
Since I’m not exactly sure how I would’ve packaged my libido prior to moving it somewhere, flat out misplacing it also seems unlikely. That only leaves kidnapping. What I want to know is- who else would want it? They wouldn’t know how to use it anyway. They don’t have the owners manual. They couldn’t even get it started. Maybe it was stolen then discarded when they couldn’t figure out how to make it work. The thought of it just sitting in a landfill somewhere is just too sad to imagine.
Could it be ransom that they want? If it’s cold cash that they want then we’ve got a problem. Although Doug considers it priceless, since we still haven’t gotten the $6K from you know who, a large amount of cash would be almost impossible to come up with at this juncture. (Now, if they needed some renovations done on their house, maybe we could work something out).
Of course if Doug somehow discovered that someone was holding onto my libido for profit and depriving us of pleasure in the process, he wouldn’t be a happy camper; and although I’ve never seen Doug actually hurt anybody, he can look really scary. (The whole big guy from NJ thing you know).
As I was writing this I’ve had a few more ideas, although I admit they’re far fetched. Maybe it’s just fallen and can’t get up; but if that’s it, I don’t know when it fell. Maybe it’s hiding under an invisibility cloak like the one in Harry Potter. Maybe it’s just sleeping like Robert deNiro in Awakenings. If that’s it, would someone please tell me what magic pill I can take to wake it up. I even tried Zestra. I’ve read that it worked for some women. I’m happy for them. However, I felt sunburned, not sexy. It wasn’t a good thing- at least for me.
I’ve read from time to time about other women losing their libidos. Do you think it’s possible they’re all off together somewhere partying? Maybe we need a libido detective or perhaps someone who really understands them- kind of a libido whisperer to help find them. I’m open to any and all suggestions. Please send them along ASAP before Doug grinds his molars completely into dust.
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I love your story and I relate well….. My libido was nearly dead until I read this… Maybe its just run off with the others. I like my younger self and have dismissed my older self and that probably scared my libido away. I am working on remembering all the parts of me. I will tell you what happens. Think I will talk to my therapist about this one. Bless you for bringing it up. Now if I could just find my vagina too. Love Jack in the beanstalk
Hi Jack. I’m kinda sorry that you can relate to this. However, just knock on the door twice for entry to our club’s treehouse.
Great story and great way of putting it. I struggle with this same thing. I have no idea where it is either! Wish I could at least find it once ina while!
Hi Gwen. Thanks for the compliment and sadly, welcome to the club.
I am going to check my dryer for mine……reading your entry made me think also of all the socks I have lost over the years. Maybe there is a connection?
I’ve heard of the dish running away with the spoon; but socks running off with libidos? Interesting. Let you know if your’s is in the dryer.
Although you’re joking about it, I don’t think you see loss of libido as funny. The obvious question is: Have you seen a doctor for a medical diagnosis? You wouldn’t just look for the magic pill in any other arena when you don’t know what’s causing the problem, so why would you with this issue? I hope you’ll find out what’s causing the change. It could be hormonal, but it could also be a sign of some other health problem.
- Joan
Hi Joan. Believe me when I say I’ve had it checked out, by multiple doctors. My loss is due to hormones. However, there is nothing that I can do. My mother had aggressive breast cancer twice, and cancer a total of three times. I investigated having BRCA testing. However I was told that they had to test her, not me. I said “Isn’t that like closing the barn door after the horse is gone?” Anyway, I had spoken to mom about getting tested and she had agreed just before got sick and died last October. No doctor I’ve spoken to has thought it was a good idea for me to take any kind of hormones, natural or synthetic, considering my mom. I’ve spoken to three different doctors. If you know of anything else, please tell me or send me an email.
HI Joan–
So what do you do when you go to your doctor and she says– “you just need to ‘act as if’” ??? HA!! I haven’t gone back to her since. That’s like being told ‘its all in your head…’ It is very frustrating for my husband, whom I love dearly, we are still practically newlyweds– and we had NOOOO problems for the first few years! Now that menopause is fully here, my desire for sex is totally gone. If he just hugs me it turns me into a raging inferno, sweaty and ‘dont touch me’ feelings… (hot flash!) I never ever thought I would lose interest in sex! I am wondering if there is something I can add to my diet that may at least HELP as I abhor prescription meds and avoid them like the plague.. I am sure its hormonal– hot flashes and lack of sleep doesnt help.. Bill is patient and accepting, if not understanding.. (I dont even understand!) As much as I hate the idea of prescription drugs/hormones etc, I am ready to go get them if it would bring back my libido… Any better suggestions??
Hi Carolyne. I’ve had hot flashes now for 10 years. I don’t think they’ll ever go away. I sleep with a 10″ fan on my nightstand that blows on my face. I finally asked my doctor for something to help me sleep. He gave me Trazodone. I took 1 at 11pm one night. It took me 24 hours to feel normal again- never again! I’ve discovered that if I can get to the gym and do just 20-30 mins. of cardio that I sleep much better. You should check out the book I reviewed yesterday. It has a huge section about HRT so you can have your questions ready when you talk to your doctor.