Vibrant Nation

Hi meigler,

You just might be able to borrow or rent one from your local animal protection agency.  The cost will vary and depends on the weight of the subject to be tranqualized.  I think they charge by the pound or the amount of 'stunness' you want to or need to acheive to get the job done.  If I go by the picture it might be expensive! 

Best of luck, you will need it!

anir

You, Doug, and the fur babies are a hoot!

Your life is a sitcom, meigler, and I mean that in a good way. This latest misadventure so reminds me of yesterday's television comedies, e.g. The Dick Van Dyke Show--good, wholesome, family entertainment.

I think you should try your hand at screenwriting (either big or small screen).

Love that story, Meigler!   Hey, when you get that tranq gun, see if you can find out how much you'll need for a 13 pound cat, would you?

Bumblebee was a rescue.  As a wee kitten, he was wandering outside near my ex-boyfriend's house.  He started feeding him and well, you know what that means.  My ex wanted to bring him in out of the cold but he is a home renovator/contractor and a home in the midst of renovation is no place for a kitten.  "Bring him here!" I said.  That was 3 1/2 years ago.  Bumblebee is an orange tabby who looks just like Morris the Cat from TV commercial fame (don't all orange tabbies look like him, more or less?) so I fell for him instantly. 

I call him my dog-in-a-catsuit because he obviously did not get the message that cats are supposed to be aloof.  If I sit for more than five minutes, Bumblebee is on my lap -- even in uh, the bathroom (can a sister get some privacy, please?).  He follows me from room to room like a puppy.  The worktable where I make jewelry is directly behind my computer chair so every now and then I'll be sitting here and suddenly feel heavy paws on my shoulder which indicates that all of Bumblebee's 13 pounds are going to come crawling down my front as he makes his way to my lap (claws IN, please!)   If I push him off my lap, he hops onto the printer, irregardless of whether or not there is paper sticking out of it, sprawls himself across it, paper and all, and falls fast asleep.  This often happens just as I'm about to hit my print button.  He'll do anything to be near Mommy. 

Sounds lovely, right?

Problem is that Bumblebee remembers that he was a street cat once upon a time so I have to watch him like a hawk whenever a door opens.  If I'm having family over, I have to lock him in the bedroom, to no avail though, because like Blondie, he has somehow learned how to open doors.  How do cats and dogs do that with no opposable thumbs??   Family has this annoying habit of lingering at the door, which would be lovely except for the fact that no matter what room Bumblebee happens to be in, he somehow senses that there is a door ajar somewhere and that he is hearing the call of the wild.  I don't do the indoor/outdoor cat thing; too much danger in the big city and not only do I not want him to get hurt or sick out there, I don't want him bringing anything back that's gonna hurt me or make me sick when I look at it.

As much as he loves me, if he gets out, it's hell getting him back in.  He'll look at me, turn and keep trotting ahead, just fast enough so that I can't catch him without scaring him off.   When I lived in a house a couple of years ago, he once ran out through an open window and decided to explore the sloping roof of the front porch.   He can jump five feet straight up from the floor but he is the clumsiest cat that ever lived.  He has no grace; he trips on air.  Picture my neighbor and my ex circling the porch frantically trying to figure out from which side he would tumble off.   I enticed him back into the room with cat treats.  I now keep a large supply of cat treats on hand since it's the only thing that will get him back inside.

Our pets are very much like our children, aren't they?  You love 'em but sometimes you just want to thrash 'em.  Meigler, please share the tranquilizer gun!