According to statistics from the a press release issued by the Justice Department, the nation’s prison population is becoming more middle-aged. From 1995 through 2003, inmates between the ages of 40 and 54 accounted for more than 46 percent of the total growth in the U.S. prison population. The number of inmates in federal and state prisons age 55 and older increased more than 30 percent from 2000 to 2005. They say that’s a faster rare the overall prison growth rate of nine percent. And according to the Southern Legislative Conference, in 16 Southern states, the growth rate has escalated by an average of 145 percent since 1997.
Where’s the best place to find a prisoner to marry? Probably in California, where prison weddings are said to be a regular occurrence. Officials say about 20 inmates get married in ceremonies held on the first Friday of even-numbered months at San Quentin, and usually at least one death row inmate is among them.
So what do you say? Would you marry a man behind bars?
other blog entries from »
Bev, Let him out and give him some time to prove, which way will he go! Many come out wanting a male, cause that’s some of the sex you can get behind bars. Find out if he has any drive for the everyday things that be. Definitely try and understand his thinking, remember he’s been with the bad males learning some of their ways, if he’s not a teacher! Depends, some will be worth the effort…but who’s to say…TRACK
Track,
Personally for me, I wouldn’t do it. I can’t see anything that we would have in common. Besides, if he’s been in jail longer than 10 years, he must’ve done something PRETTY BAD–wouldn’t you say? I know people can change but I just couldn’t see myself involved with someone like that. That’s just me.
I worked in a Federal Max Prison. I was not a CO, i am in the medical field. I was not looking for love, but i found it!!! Not only did i fall in love with an inmate(and i was not desparate by any means) but i am white and he is black! We met while working together. He was and is a loving and good man who made a mistake. Long story short, we have been together 4 years and he has been out almost 2 years. We have def had our ups and downs but we have come through all of that and are very happy. We own a house and we are planning to start our own business. I met alot of very good men who made mistakes and are ready to start life again, hopefully with a good woman beside them. I am VERY frustrated with the stereo typing and stigma that goes with men and women who have been in trouble. There are many reasons for it and alot of thesr people are good human beings. Please open your minds and give these people a chance. We ALL make mistakes………….
irish211,
Congratulations on being able to find love in that way. I think most people would be close-minded (like me) because of the stigma attached with being in love with a man whose been to prison. Crimes like robbery, rape and murder and even child molesting would scare me to the point that I would be totally uncomfortable in is presence.
Yes, I know everyone deserves a second chance but I prefer to do it from a distance.
I wish you the very best!
Thank you!!! The stigma is unfair but i absolutely agree with you about robbery, rape, murder and of course child molesrting!!! My man has not done any of those crimes!!! Thank God!!! But there are many men and women who deserve love and are good people.
Think I’ll PASS!!!!!!!!!!!
O M G I consider that desperation. The prison guy will give you attention like any other. Better pick one with a life sentence because once he is out the relationship will probably die xtremely fast. No thank you. There are enough psycho’s out already.
Would I marry a man behind bars?
Only if he’s a BARTENDER~!!!!!!
LOL!!!
Better yet how about a Southern Man and marry one who BARBECUES!!!!
Beverly,
I can’t believe you’re serious. What about recitivism? What about difficulty finding work? What about drug abuse? Which crimes do you draw a line at? There’s a million what if’s. I’m not an elitist by any stretch, but my standards are just a tad higher than that!
Serious about what???
The rate of incarceration in USA is the highest in the world, which means you down there have a better chance of finding an ok guy in prison than I do up here in Canada. You know, just because there are sooo many guys locked up that there’s bound to a few good ones. But how would you know?
I can’t imagine ever being that lonely or desperate. Different story if you knew the guy before he went in, but I don’t think that is the case for most of these weddings.
I’m surprised no one has started a dating service hooking up prisoners with lonely women on the outside.
Having worked at an expensive dating service I know that it is harder to match women over 40, especially if they’re professionals.
Actually there are several websites that do just that. All you have to do is google penpal inmates and…….voilà !
here’s just one of many examples:
http://www.meet-an-inmate.com/
(Deleted double post)
Thanks for the link; I’ll check it out.
One of the nice things about vibrators is that they don’t come with prison records. Also, no surprises or hidden agendas.
Again, think I’ll PASS!
Lol. I’m with you 1000% !!!
But I have read these websites for laughs before. I’m twisted, I know, but don’t say I’m not a fountain of info haha!
Hope you have a good anit-virus program on your pooter!
Thanks D. If E-Harmony doesn’t work, at least I know I have an option! You’re a real pal! LOL
I’m here to serve my fellow VN sisters with truth, light, and options……………………and hopefully a giggle or two along the way.
That may explain why there are so many so-called “Cougars” out there.
Hear me RRRRRRRRRROAR!
Bev, We don’t have to wait for the Viraga to kick in and he can stay up passed 12a after dancing and not fall asleep!!…TRACK
p.s. Cougars don’t roar…they scream http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xKw4OFAu1WM and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tgZmh2dkVI, cougars only hunt for food, check nature, and a mate seeks them out!! Males/females try an give a bad name to women who will date younger men, we even marry them…don’t join the pack! We choose, just like you…
The fist “problem with the title: is FIND Soul mate aren’t usually found they are “sent”…the problem with finding is looking and that would be one of ( looking for love in all the wrong places).. I get mail from time to time from inmates and I tell them over the air that I do not write as I don’t want anyone coming up to me or my door saying you” know me!!” ….communicating can bring people together without the vision… look at us on VN.
Beside I am married and am doing my own Time (lol) but loving it:)
Beside I am married and am doing my own Time (lol) but loving it:)
Love your sense of humor fayetteSIPP-me too!! :-)
No way.
Why in the world would I EVEN consider it? Most know that confined, prisoners become chameleons..pure and all yours… but outside?
It is only then will you now see the real person encumbered by prison rules
But yet often scarred by the accumulated effects of prison
He now has to adjust to controlling his own life,securing employment, satisfying possible probation requirements.
If he was convicted of a felony…he may not be able to vote or even to be considered for any number of categories of employment. He may not issued a visa to travel to some countries,
No, not interested. I want/need a man who did not “make (that kind of) a mistake”.
I would not date criminal. Not if he has converted to Islam, or Christianity.
No, not even if he has become a peaceful Buddhist
Relationships can be difficult enough , there is no way I want to help tow the baggage of his criminal conviction
Did any of you see the show on MSNBC about the guy in prison who wrote to at least 2 women, romancing them, sweeping them off their feet with his sincerity and promises to love and take care of them, and when he got out he married them both (unknown to each other) and started bilking them, plus married a third woman. One of them he sent into bankruptcy. It sounded very much like a story someone told here on VN about a friend of hers finding a rich Italian who seemed shady. These were professional women (a nurse, a teacher) who were totally fooled.
Oh, wow a HUGE population to choose from; guess i will have to check that out….after all, they aren’t going anywere, LOL, LOL
I married a man who SHOULD have been BEHIND bars.
Dear girl — this is what I would call a crap shoot, a horse race and a very long shot!! I go to a casino once a year whether I need it or not!
There is a term called ‘learned helplessness’ (by a guy named Seligman) which I would venture to say a large percentage of prisoners have had been embedded into their characters, brains, personalities. Example: dogs were put into a cage with the cage door open. When they tried to go out the cage-door they were zapped with an electric shock and retreated to the back of the cage. Can’t remember how many zaps it took, but eventually they stopped trying – completely. Its been 30 years since I read this study so if I got it wrong — let me know.
Some of these prisoners started their lives of crime very early and prison became ‘home’. So when they get out they resume their lives – and get to go ‘home’ in a very short time. Not all – of course. The ones who have made mistakes at a level of 1 or 2 (light weight, i.e. taxes, not supporting families) on a scale of 10 (ten being most serious) probably can and should be rehabbed. Better than feeding, clothing, medicating and pampering their dishonest butts.
To answer your question — no, no, no a thousand times no. Find most of the men on this side of the bars looking for a ‘mommy’. Been there – done that – got the ‘T’ shirt with four beautiful natural babies — not looking to be so lucky next time round. Not looking to ‘adopt’ double trouble in my sunset years.
In the immortal words of Miss Houston: “Hell to the no!”
Be happy.