While Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk About Sex After Sixty
celebrated the joys of senior sexuality, my new book, Naked at Our Age (coming Spring 2011 from Seal Press) concentrates on the other part — the physical setbacks and emotional challenges of sex and intimate relationships in later life. I have more than a hundred personal stories and a bevy of amazing experts answering questions and addressing concerns.
As I work on this book, the stories keep coming. This one, from Evonne struck me as so inspiring and joyful amid all the problems I’m addressing that I had to share it with you right away. It shows that erectile dysfunction doesn’t have to be a barrier to a passionate and immensely satisfying sex life. Evonne’s joy makes me happy, and I hope it does that for you, too.
EVONNE, age 58:
My fiance (age sixty-eight) and I are in an incredible, sensual, passionate relationship. We met about a year ago. Sparks flew immediately, and we jumped full force into each other emotionally. I must say, I was quite surprised, as I didn’t know I could be that passionate again, and neither did he.
He was widowed, and I was divorced after a long-term marriage where I was rather bored with sex with my ex. My new lover aroused me in ways I never felt before. Neither one of us had had many sexual experiences and were not “world wise,” but what came naturally – whew! What a ride.
My lover has had prostate cancer, and so we didn’t expect much sexually. He is not able to sustain an erection. But–what the man can do with his hands! Wow. He is able to give me “inside” orgasms as well as out. All I can say is endless foreplay and multiple orgasms. I just roll with it and we play for at least an hour.
I pleasure him daily also. At first it was a little weird to kiss and caress him while he was not erect. But I got over it, and he gets so much pleasure out of it and I enjoy doing it for him.
We both are enjoying being truly desired and wanted. I am slightly overweight and always felt uncomfortable about my body with my ex-husband. But, my new lover makes me tells me often how much he loves every inch of me. What a gift to my self-esteem he has been!
We both enjoy cuddling and this is a great source of comfort and intimacy for us. We are both in shock over the pleasure this sexual relationship gives us. Of course, we are in love and I truly believe that we could only reach this level of connection and intimacy in a spiritual committed relationship. We are getting married in June.
We sleep in the nude, which I love also. We believe this greatly enhances our activity as we are always open and available to each other’s touch and arousal usually follows. We plan to cuddle and snuggle–we call it “huggle”–for many years to come!
other blog entries from »
i use a combo of shea butter and aloe vera moisturizer. Works great. I use shea butter on my lips, around my eyes and nose (dry areas), My father swears by vasoline.
p.s. I dropped your name on Gina's post, Barb. ;)
That is totally awesome…
Made me blush…woo hoo!! “Huggle” how cute.
I agree that erectile dysfunction should not be a barrier to a satisfying sex life. I am 66, married 43 years and still enjoy satisfying sex. It’s having the right partner who knows what gives you pleasure.
ohhhh…. I want this!!!…someday, I will find the the right huggle partner
Yes, I agree that manual stimulation can be wonderfully exciting and satisfying. I am currently involved with a man whose is my age, 71. We are strongly attracted to each other and, we too, sleep in the nude. Men, as they age often experience loss of sexual function; but now there are remedies to aid them in restoring more normal function. What we find is so important is a willingness to experiment and a trust that allows this freedom with each other. I just love the affection of hugging and caressing and just feeling his warmth and closeness. Women, and men, should always attempt to be aware of themselves as sexual beings and work to keep themselves as attractive to each other and to themselves.
I can attest to everything that Evonne says, I too have a wonderful passionate lover, who is amazing.