Vibrant Nation

"I wish I had used condoms!"

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JoanPrice's avatar Posted on Tuesday, February 09, 2010 by JoanPrice

Seeking true-life story from a senior who did not insist on barrier protection, and now is paying the penalty and would like to advise other seniors to take more precautions than she did.

My new book, Naked at Our Age, is filled with real stories from real seniors about their sexual experiences, challenges, and attitudes.

For my Safe Sex chapter, I have several stories from seniors who are dating and having sex, don't use barrier protection and don't think they need to. I have other stories from seniors who are dating and use condoms every time with every new sexual partner.

I need to hear from people age 50-80+ who didn't use condoms and now wish they had. Maybe they had sex with someone who was dishonest about revealing sexual history, STIs, HIV status. Or they didn't ask, the partner didn't tell, and now they've contracted HIV, herpes, or some other STI. Maybe they've unknowingly infected other partners. 

If you're willing to share your story confidentially in order to help other people who think that safe sex isn't important for seniors, please private message me. Thank you!

If you're a health worker and you have first-hand knowledge of seniors getting STIs, I'd like to hear from you, too.

-- Joan Price

other blog entries from Better Than I Ever Expected: Sex and Aging »

responses (6)

JoanPrice's avatar JoanPrice
JoanPrice said to JoanPrice
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No one has anything to say about this? Does that mean that all you sexually active singles ARE using condoms?

Claire1959's avatar Claire195…
Claire1959 said to JoanPrice
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Maybe not, but it's not something people readily admit to.

 

Also, there is evidence people of all ages think the risk of HIV infection among heterosexuals has been overblown. Statistics seem to bear this out. However, they do forget that there are other STDs that are no joke, and that can be easily avoided with protection.

JoanPrice's avatar JoanPrice
JoanPrice said to Claire1959
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No, statistics do NOT bear that out. One-third of sexually active older adults living with HIV/AIDS have unprotected sex.  27% of HIV-infected men and 35% of infected women over 50 sometimes have sex without a condom. People over 50 are 1/6 as likely to use condoms, and 1/5 as likely to get tested for HIV compared to people under 50.

Does that sound like great odds? 

JoanPrice's avatar JoanPrice
JoanPrice said to JoanPrice
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Read this from http://www.livescience.com/health/seniors-aids-hiv-100215.html:

"About 19 percent of all people with HIV/AIDS in this country now are over age 50. New AIDS cases have risen faster in the over-50 population than in people under 40.

"Since the early 80's, HIV in people over 50 accounted for about 10 percent of all cases. However, the method of transmission has changed. Blood transfusion was once the major transmission mode. Now, heterosexual contact and IV drug use are the main causes of HIV infection in seniors."

enjoying new life's avatar enjoying …
enjoying new life said to JoanPrice
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sorry, cant talk about my experience... because I personally dont have any.  but I can tell you about two male friends of mine.  One has been divorced for 6 months.  he has had MULTIPLE sexual partners and has only used a condom with one.  He made the comment to me about how much fun it was now, not having to worry about pregnancy.  I was "WHAT??!!! are you not protecting yourself from STD's"  He blew me off and said I was being a prude.  Another friend of mine has been divorced for 10 years.  He always uses a condom and still gets himself checked... do to herpes every 6 months... and get this... has the dr print out his "clean bill of health" record to show any potential sexual partner... According to him, there are women out there who do the same thing!  they are both really nice, decent men, but the funniest part of it is the one who is not using the condoms would come off as the responsible one and the one who is you would never think....  

JoanPrice's avatar JoanPrice
JoanPrice said to enjoying new life
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Oh dear, you've made me shudder with your friend's example. You're NOT being a prude -- keep educating your men friends! Thanks so much for sharing this.

Pure and Natural