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At 50+, it's time to find out what my role in life is truly meant to be, and pay more attention to my strengths.

I've spent the past two years strengthening my life. Yes, since my husband passed away (it will be two years next week), and my kids have officially left the nest (well almost, the younger birdie tends to come back more often than the older one), I've had a chance to concentrate more on me, myself and I.

So, it was very fitting when the publicist for Marcus Buckingham, the author of Find Your Strongest Life: What the Happiest and Most Successful Women Do Differently, contacted me and asked if I would like Marcus to write a guest post for my blog.

"Absolutely," I told the publicist, "but first I need to take The Strong Life Test and discover the role I was born to play, as Marcus' book says." [Take the quiz by clicking on the word "start" at the bottom of the red box at right.] At 50+, it's time to find out what my role in life is truly meant to be, and pay more attention to my strengths. I do want to be a happy woman during the second half of my life.

I heard Marcus speak at a recent women's conference this past October and loved his presentation on the topic. He described nine different life roles:

1. An Advisor is good at giving advice. (Am I good at giving advice? I do try to give advice to people.)
2. A Caretaker always wants to make sure that everyone is okay.(I must be a caretaker, I'm always trying to be inclusive.)
3. A Creator wants to understand, take notes. Marcus says creators like time for themselves and have the best conversations with themselves. (I must be a creator. I always talk to myself.)
4. A Motivator wants to raise the energy in the room. (Well, that's me. I like to pump up the volume when I'm in the room.)
5. An Influencer wants to move people to action. (That could be me too. I don't like to sit around. I like to execute and move people to act.)
6. An Equalizer sees the world as a whole and wants to do the right thing. An Equalizer is a passionate defender. (Hmm, am I an Equalizer?)
7. A Pioneer loves the new and has a strong tolerance for ambiquity. (Not me. I don't think dealing with ambiquity is one of my strengths.)
8. A Teacher asks 'how can I help others learn and grow?' (That's me. I like to teach others.)
9. A Weaver sees the world as a web of relationships and is always looking for what's best in other people. (Hmm, am I a Weaver?)

Once you discover your lead role and your supporting role, Marcus says you should follow your internal compass to live a stronger life.

I was intrigued by Marcus' perspectives and especially eager to take The Strong Life Test. I did. And guess what I found out? Surprise, surprise, surprise.

My lead role is 'Teacher.' A teacher 'begins by asking 'what can I learn by this?' My focus is instinctively toward the other person. Not her feelings, necessarily, but her understanding, her performance, her skills. (No wonder I have so many people on my gift-giving list. This fits me to a tee. Plus, I did get a degree in education more than 30 years ago, but I never did teach. Why didn't I teach? I can't remember! I like The Strong Life Test. Tell me more. Tell me more.)

My best quality is 'my faith in others.' (Yes, yes, yes. That's me. I have faith in others and usually in my eyes people are innocent until proven guilty, rather than guilty until proven innocent...like when my son went to a concert in NYC and didn't tell me.I told the person who snitched on him that he absolutely did not go to NYC to a concert without asking me first. Unfortunately, in this case, he was guilty of the act and did face a punishment.)

Tell me more. Tell me more. Oh no, a Teacher must be careful and not come to believe that everyone is capable of everything. (So true, so true.)

My supporting role is a Motivator. I knew it. I do raise the energy in the room. I do usually sense the energy in a room and feel compelled to do what I can to elevate it - just like The Strong Life Test says. Listen to this: It says that a Motivator is an instinctively optimistic person. (Yep, that's me.)

But what should a Motivator be careful of? Uh, oh. The Strong Life Test says that I should be careful that I don't get sucked dry by emotional vampires. (Yep, that's me. I do let all the vampires suck me dry. No wonder I like the Twilight movies.)

That was fun. I think I would like to have Marcus write a guest post for my blog. I'm going to ask him. Stay tuned. Maybe he will write it next week or the week after.

Judi

other blog entries from aboomerslifeafter50 »

responses (40)

elizabeth cassidy said to Judi50+
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the survery was intereting. I got teacher and caregive and at first I was not thrilled but as I thought about it the better is sounded. I do like to teach people how to live bettrer lives in my work as a life coach for women and I do care deeply for people how are not cared for in our society.

Ginger said to Judi50+
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This was right on...I came out Advisor and Motivator. My girlfriends are constantly asking for my opinion. Sometimes it's fashion, sometimes relationships and often things inbetween. The answers seem so common sense for me. Now I understand why - it's just my personality.

Motivator fit too because of the upbeat positive attitude - but also because I have to be wary of the emotional vampires. That's been my lesson this year.

Now, if I could just translate that into some sort of income....!!

Thanks - the book looks very interesting. Can't wait to hear more.

Brightwood said to Judi50+
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I came up with Motivator/Teacher which really surprised me. Got to think about this for awhile.

ColleenH said to Brightwood
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I came up as a caregiver / advisor which did not surprise me at all, and this is what I do for a living, and I love my work.  So many of the comments where right on.

clibey said to Judi50+
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Wow. My leading role was teacher. I just retired from 24 years of teaching. I didn't start college until 25 and so that gave me time to decide on a career path and chose education. I really did enjoy teachiing. My secondary role is equalizer. That also seems to be true. I am always looking for the thread that pulls everything together and keep things on an even keel. Sometimes that's good, sometimes that's bad. Interesting.

GrannyGrad said to Judi50+
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Mine was Caretaker and secondary role as Advisor.  Seems to be pretty accurate as I'm in school getting my Master's in Counseling Studies.  I think this would be a very good book to further helping me plan my course of action once I graduate.  Very interesting!

Teresa

Laura P said to Judi50+
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Definitely age related (smiles) my result Creator. I have taken similar surveys in my younger days. The results were always care giver. New goal, translate this characteristic into real life!

 

Nancy Schimmel said to Laura P
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This transition sounds really exciting. I started my best creative work at around fifty when I found a perfect collaborator for it, but age may have been a factor too. Best of luck to you.

Laura P said to Laura P
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Thank you it took it took me awhile to get out of my own way! Best to you as well. 

llacey2001 said to Judi50+
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WOW it says I am 3. A Creator wants to understand, take notes. Marcus says creators like time for themselves and have the best conversations with themselves. (I must be a creator. I always talk to myself.)

I will buy that.... I am an artist after all. have to tell you a funny thing that happened a week ago...I was making a 'gingerbread' house out of Salt dough...I also made some orniments for the tree.

My sweet husband walked in, I ask him if he liked them, and he said he really liked them and started laughing as he walked away. So I ask why , if he liked them, was he laughing at them.

His respomce was...." you amaze me, I could bring you a pile of shit and you would find something beautiful to make out of it."  WHAT a MALE way of putting it. But I took it as a compliment but it will always be one of those 'memories' I will hold on to.

Advocado said to Judi50+
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I got caretaker/weaver. Thats pretty accurate, considering I'm a nurse. I love those little tests!

rdickes@hctc.com said to Judi50+
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Wow, I though I was creator, but I got influencer and motivator!!  Eye opening!

CAROLE said to rdickes@hctc.com
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It is hard to be a creator, unlesss you have others who support your ideas and strengths.  I have both the ideas and the support to be a creator and a weaver.  Sometimes it is the weaver in me that finds the suport for myself and others because I see us all as having common grounds and needs.  My friends look to me to give creative advice and to take the time to follow through.  They form the support that I sometiomes need to carry on.

Marilyn Wattman said to Judi50+
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This was a great exercise. I don't work any longer, at least, not in a paid capacity. I'm on disability, so my life revolves around volunteering. I came out with Motivator as my lead role and Equalizer as my supporting role. This information is not surprising. I do motivate others -- always talking about the energy to keep things going strong when it comes to my fundraising efforts. And as for equalizer, I am always asking that question: What's the right thing to do?" My entire life has revolved around that point -- so again, this was not a big surprise, but I'm glad I took the time to do the exercise and get the results. It helps me to know these things when dealing with others, and I'll be able to know what my real strengths are and how to get the most out of me! Thus, I can be more effective in whatever I do - in my personal life and my volunteer life. 

Stellaaa said to Judi50+
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I got Pioneer/Caretaker which is surprising but not inaccurate.  Like so many here I thought I'd get creator - if for no other reason than I have by far my best conversations with myself.

But I do sooo see the combo I got.  I AM the one who will go charging off where angels fear to tread with friends in tow, and then fret like a mother hen over them once we are in the middle of the jungle in war zone, or scuba diving with sharks or ...

sunsetwriter said to Judi50+
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I'm a Creator/Advisor.....right on the money. I usually see things as a whole and try to advise the best way forward. I have little patience, so sitting down and explaining or cheering people on come hard to me. I tend to think of myself as generous, but cannot see myself as a caretaker and I am definitely opinionated!!!...so yes, the test was right.

Tawnya said to Judi50+
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What a cool quizz.  I'm a pioneer.  Gotta think a lot about this one.  My supporting role is caretaker which doesn't surprise me.  I'm getting the book so I can check out what to do with the "pioneer" me!

Just as soon as it comes out on Ereader!  I'll be looking for Marcus Buckingham's post!

theodora said to Judi50+
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Hi Judi, I took the quiz and should be a teacher or advisor..very interesting! Thanks for bringing this to our attention on Vibrant Nation!! Happy Holidays also!!

Mandie said to Judi50+
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WOW! If it wasn't so cold I'd be heading out to get this book tonight!!!!!!

Thanks for sharing this, it was GREAT! Many Blessing to you Judi :)

I can't wait to read this, the test tells me #1 Teacher #2 Advisor

I've Never thought of myself as a Teacher... Advisor YES!

I enjoy any information that brings me closer to knowing the "real" Me!

kikin said to Judi50+
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I came put as a Motivator, which does not surprise me as my husband suffers from depression.  Secondary is Pioneer;  well, I was raised as a military kid and I was always thrust in to the new and different so I continue to look forward to that.

maria50 said to Judi50+
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Advisor and creator were my two strong points

ella said to Judi50+
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I came up as a Creator and Weaver and I would say that it is pretty much on track. I love coming up with new ideas and seeing them to fruition and often can see connections others do not.  I require alot of alone time as well which is part of being a Creator.  I tend to see the world through connections and make sure that I connect people with one another as much as possible.  I am going to get the book and read more.  It has intrigued me and I am going through some changes that  I would like to see how it all fits together. 

Debra at Wind Lake said to Judi50+
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This sounds like a book I MUST get! I took the quiz and no surprises...I am a TEACHER-which I am and have been homeschooling for 16 years-3 sons/My other result is CREATOR. I own my own design company and do floral design for weddings and special events, as well as event planning. I'm also a portrait artist. I am constantly asking, "What can I learn from this"?, and I'm constantly taking notes, doing seminars and reading books to better understand myself, both the light side and my shadow side. It is quite gratifying work.

spiritalk said to Judi50+
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I am not sure what to think.....Creator and Pioneer.  I half expected teacher as that is what I do for my spiritual groups.

God bless, J

Wayfaring Wordsmith said to Judi50+
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Weaver, then Teacher. This doesn't surprise me, but I thought I'd also be Creator. Maybe I'm incorrectly connecting "creator" with "creativity."

Several years ago I went through a large battery of tests for career testing, and on the final day when I met with the 2 experts testing me, they said, in a kind way, that I was unusual because I scored equally high in both artistic and administrative, which tend to be opposites.

"Weaver" is especially appropriate right now because I'm using social networking to market my book.

"Teacher" is appropriate too because I teach memoir classes.

karenh said to Judi50+
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I am a teacher and weaver second. I graduated from college age 55 and am trying to get into this program that helps you become a teacher in one year. I like tests so it gave me encouragement!  

grammy 2 4 said to Judi50+
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my roles are equalizer and creator.

I'd like to think this is correct.  Both descriptions seem to fit me so well.

I've always loved design and have not only done the interior of all of my friends home on their checkbooks...open ended I might add...such fun!!! But I have also helped design architecturally the homes of 4 of my friends; I've actually been giving design a thought for my new career.  Oh...just read again...I LOVE time alone and I have my best conversations with myself.

I also hate discord usually so I do try to equal the playing field...a passionate defender....well....yes; that would describe me to a tee.  Isn't this interesting?

 

Olga said to grammy 2 4
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Gee grammy, something else we have in common. I love decorating and creative endeavors. I especially like trash to treasur types of projects.

grammy 2 4 said to Olga
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I LOVE TRASH TO TREASURE!!!!! 

My son just moved into my town; only blocks away...LOVE IT!, ANYWAY he has a MUCH larger home now than previous so needed to fill some rooms up.  We went what he calls "dumpster diving", not really...we went thrift store shopping and got some incredible finds!!

I was able to put my grandsons room and the room for the three girls (GF's twins and my GD...all 8) for under $150.00.  We did buy new mattresses which I didn't include in the amount but they all have writing desks, twin beds with turndles for friends and nightstands....so cute.  My son was floored and they all match.  We just touched them up a bit with a little paint and walla!!  We also found a dining room set with hutch for only $200.00.  The chairs are sea grass and we live by the beach so it fits with the decor and the table is solid mahogany.  Truthfully it's nicer than mine and I paid a fortune for it. 

Also...a hint...our local Goodwill has been given some brand new things from differnt business (furniture stores and large department stores) going out of business.  I was able to find all the bedding I needed for the kids (3 that matched for the girls) and it was all brand new 500 thread count.  DIRT CHEAP.  You may want to check yours out for treasures right now.  Ours was packed and they were dealing big time to make space.

Do you sew?  LOVE IT, make all my own clothes and did even when I could afford the best...just love the thought of creating something for me no one else will ever have.  Yes, I make my own without pattern...easy if you have a full body dress form and an old sheet.  They aren't cheap but they last a life time if you don't gain more or loose more than 10 or 15 pounds (adjustable).

Just made new stockings for my son and his new growing family for his new house and a tree skirt to match.  When they went to get the last load (2 hour round trip without needing to pack the truck) I stayed at the new house and put up the tree...it was so fun seeing their face when they got back.  I love family, what can I say.  Best christmas gift possible having my boy walking distance away now. 

fayetteSIPP said to grammy 2 4
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We ahve a lot in common . I love resale shops and and my art business started out  because I love one of a kind things and women like to have something different,

All my children have homes very very near one lives across the street, one live up the street. and the other live 2 street over in the same block as the one who lives up the street, ...I hate threading a machine theses days , many buy a machine that you don;'t have to thread the old fashion way..... love pillows, throws, etc.I furnished several family member homes, because I love finding great deals ,like you.

grammy 2 4 said to fayetteSIPP
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Fayette there is nothing better than to be sitting with one of my kids, wearing something I made for them and a friend tells them "I like your blouse" and they say my mom made it.  The best thing...they say it with pride now, not like when they were just little and needed to have "brand" names to fit in.

Yes we do have a lot in common.

fayetteSIPP said to grammy 2 4
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This reminds me of how I use to sew for my kids and embroidery special flowers are symbols on their jeans.....to prove you don't need to wear anyone else name, and to this day they are not stuck on brand names but quality and their own style,

Olga said to grammy 2 4
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Hey Gram,

Yes, I sew, I used to make my own clothes, but now I mostly do household and decorative stuff. You know, pillows, curtains, etc. With clothing I mainly just do hemming and alterations. Have to, I'm 4'11", plus I lost 15 lbs in the last 6 months, and I have too many nice clothes I still like.

Thanks for the tip on Goodwill. I'll check them out--we have quite a few locally. Do you find that those large thrift stores are now more expensive than they used to be? There are a few private and local charity run thrift stores here and I find that their prices are lower and their stuff is a little more unique. In fact, there is one that one of the employees' husband works for a cigar store, and they donate the wooden cigar boxes. I get them for less than $4. Really nice boxes. I have a thing about decorative boxes. My husband thinks it's strange. lol. And, frankly, I don't know why I do.

Later........

grammy 2 4 said to Olga
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Wow...short....reminds me of my grammy, she was just 4'1"...we teased her constantly;).  Keep watch on your weight loss, 15 lbs in 6 mos. seems like a bunch.

I know our women's shelters have more professional type clothing because they donate to homeless women going out on interviews and yes they will sell them also and usually much cheaper than goodwill but no, I think they have actually lowered prices right now, they REALLY want to help out; in our area any way.

I like doing the decorative stuff too, want to do spreads and shams for the three girls, all matching but individual by color preference.  seven is such a sweet age of them, I love being in their company, and they LOVE to help with projects...

The cigar boxes gives me an idea of crafts for them, I'm going to look into that here; thanks for the ideas.

Olga said to grammy 2 4
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Thanks for your concern, but I intended to lose the lbs. That middle age spread was spreading more than I wanted. lol

grammy 2 4 said to Olga
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still giggling...too funny!!!

Olga said to Judi50+
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I'm a creator advisor. Right on the money. The last ten years of my career were as a risk manager--very much problem solver. And I love to work out solutions. And yes, as any of you that have read some of my posts know..........I tend to think too much. lol. AND...............I love being creative.

stronger12 said to Judi50+
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I came up as an adviser and teacher. This sounds a lot like my personality. I've always had people tell me you should be a counselor because of the advice I give. The teacher one through me off for a minute, but then I remembered how much I used to love to teach someone something I knew and felt rewarded when they got it. Therefore, part of this survey reminded me of the way I used to be, and I got away from it due to life experiences, which made me less confident in myself. One might not find this survey that accurate, but based on ones answers, you can somehow find the real you hidden in there screaming to come out.

paintbrush said to Judi50+
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I came up as an advisor and weaver, a very interesting combination.  I'll have to study this a bit more as I expected to come up creative, since I make my living teaching and making art.  Thanks for sharing this.

fayetteSIPP said to Judi50+
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In reading your post, i fit into all nine, sometimes I don't like to give all that I have and can do, but it is all so connected, many times someone will come up to me and say are you a teacher, or supervisor? you speak like you are a leader,  starting out as an Interior decorator, and fashion designer,my sister was deep into night life and performing in singing groups and as a teenager I use to design and make her costumes, made my own clothes in school,wedding dresses, drapes etc. havent' sewn in over 20 years.

as a student in schools teachers always like to leave me in head of the class, i could keep them entertained, and head the lessons on my own.

I teach art and give advice to young women in how to nurture their babies while in the womb. I motivate and love to inspire those by what i learn and what I read, I write poetry and children stories, doing a novel,, I use to collect antiques ...had a furniture boutique, I love solving problems wrote a plan to improve volunteering and keeping them called Volunteer 2000, I am a Symbolic Artist, My art has gone international,I was a homemaker with a business while my kids were young, I am somewhat of a pioneer, I love change and like to think out of the box.

I am very concerned with doing the right things, I have been on a SIT OUT journey the last two years ...getting a perspective on money...learning the power and the weakness of its affect on those around me, and how I will have to change some things in my life to accomplish the things I need to do and of course focus focus, focus,

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