As I sit here looking out my window at the snow falling and as I prepare for our second major snow storm of the week, I wish, oh how I wish, I was still in Tucson.
I wish I was still at the Miraval Spa. I wish I was getting ready for my Abhyanga massage with P, the massage therapist. P massaged warm herb-infused oils into my skin to get rid of all the toxins and impurities that were in my body. It was so wonderful.
I wish I was still at the Miraval Spa. I wish I was getting ready for my CranioSacral massage with N, the cranial massage therapist. N gently manipulated the surrounding tissue and bones in my head, spine and sacrum/tail bone areas to free up muscular and energetic blockages that were restricting the flow of cerebral spinal fluid. It was so relaxing.
I wish I was still at the Miraval Spa. I wish I was sitting down to have my Chamomile Calming manicure with G, the fabulous manicurist. First G bathed my hands and then she gently exfoliated them with a chamomile scrub that was rich in botanicals, which provided much needed moisture to my dry sensitive skin. Then G gave me a perfect, I mean p-e-r-f-e-c-t (not one smudge or extra spot on any of my cuticles) manicure. She was a perfectionist and a really fun person to talk to.
I wish I was still at the Miraval Spa. I wish I was attending one of Evelyn Resh’s classes on Human Sexuality. Yes, I told you I would share all that I learned from Evelyn, Miraval’s Director of Sexuality. She was so entertaining that I went to both of her class offerings.
Evelyn wrote the book, “The Secret Lives of Teen Girls: What Your Mother Wouldn’t Talk about but Your Daughter Needs to Know.”(I definitely need to get a copy of this book and read it. I should get a second copy for my daughter too. After hearing Evelyn’s talk, I realized that I didn’t educate my daughter well enough.)
The first class was titled “You’re Still 16.” Evelyn said that “what occurs in adolescense continues throughout our lives.” (I remember my Sweet 16 party. However, it was all girls. There were no boys at my Sweet 16 party. I should have invited boys to my Sweet 16 party. Guess it is too late now.)
Evelyn spoke about our brains. The back of our brain is the Reptilian brain with hard wiring. The Frontal Cortex is where we get our math, writing skills. And then there’s the Limbic brain, which is the emotional center. It is highly sensitive and the seed of our sexuality. Teenagers spend more focus on the Limbic part of the brain.
Evelyn said that menopausal women (that’s me, that’s me, perk up, perk up) need to move even more into their Limbic brain. Evelyn said that “womens’ lives are lists, kids, grand kids, work, cleaning, things, more things.”
“Stop making all those lists and doing all those things,” Evelyn said. “Instead move more into that Limbic brain and create your new post-menopausal sexuality.” (Suddenly I felt more like 50 going on 16. Oh, Evelyn, thank you for all this great information. I will try to get rid of my lists. I will use music like you said to create the mood. I want my Limbic brain to be able to release more of the good stuff like oxytocin, serotonin and dopamine.)
The second class entitled “Pissed Off and Tired” was even more informative. Here’s the scoop:
Evelyn told us that the reasons we don’t have sex are because of the 3D’s – Dyspareunia (it’s painful), Dissatisfaction, and Decreased Libido. Menopausal women (that’s me, that’s me, perk up, perk up) can have vaginal dryness which causes dyspareunia. Evelyn suggested using vaginal estrogen to help with this problem. “Ovaries retire, they don’t shut down,” said Evelyn. (Evelyn is so smart and very wise. I really liked Evelyn’s advice.)
According to Evelyn, one of the reasons we have dissatisfaction with sex is because we have inhibitions about our bodies. She said that “many women have plastic surgery and try to change their bodies, even though their mates still want them just the way they are.”
Women of all ages have decreased libido. “The legacy you leave behind is how well you loved,” says Evelyn. “Did you love authentically? Did you love spiritually?” She said that “you must give your partner your undivided attention. Sex is a discipline and a devotional practice.”
Finally, it all goes back to Sweet 16. “Why don’t long-term couples not make out?” says Evelyn. “Teens can make out for two hours. Go ahead, make out for two hours.”
Oh, Evelyn, really?
Well, okay then.
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