Dr. Laura Schlessinger, a popular radio talk show personality, used the “N” word, repeatedly, when talking to an African American listener a few days ago. The listener called in to complain about her white husband’s friends using racist words and she wanted Dr. Laura’s opinion. I did not hear the original broadcast but read quite a few reports about the call and I also listened to a portion of the call by searching for it on the Internet. Dr. Laura defended her use of the word but later apologized.
Dr. Laura believed she was using the word to prove a point about the word itself. I do not know much about her as a person but I do know she is a savvy broadcaster, educated, and I doubt she was trying to ruin her career. [Note: I prepared this posting several days ago and this morning checked to see if there were new details. I learned Dr. Laura has chosen not to renew her radio show contract and will pursue other career options. Guess I was wrong about her savvy career instinct.] After reading about the incident I didn’t come away feeling she was racist but that she used poor judgment and exhibited insensitivity toward the feelings of the caller and her audience. Ordinary offensive swear words are routinely censored but they do not grab-at-the-chest like the “N” word does. The word lives and it has tremendous power. It crawls right into our soul and infects it with venom. I’m surprised she didn’t “get” that. Here’s why.
Dr. Laura converted to Judaism many years ago to marry the man she loved. In many parts of the world there is a symbol that means peace and good luck and harmony. It is still used today in India and various Eastern religions and in yoga classes throughout the world. It is often seen flanking an entry so that the person passing through the gate or doorway will receive good luck or a blessing. It’s been that way for centuries, long before its more recent evil use. The western world has a tough time with the symbol and every time westerners see it we cringe. Even the word “swastika” evokes deep passion and fear and sadness. It will be that way for many generations. In our culture I’m not sure we will ever be able to erase its more recent use by the Nazis as a symbol of murder and the ruination of millions of lives. In our culture, except for fringe hate groups, no one wants a swastika on their desk at the office. Usually when it appears, even innocently or mistakenly, some people rally to have it removed because of the horror that is associated with it. I suspect, therefore, Dr. Laura would not place a swastika above her doorway as a sign of peace, good luck, and a blessing on her home.
The symbol and not the word, in this instance, is more frightening and offensive than the word “swastika” itself. It’s all about the visual and not so much the word. The monster that selected this symbol chose it wisely. Because of its simplicity it was easy to reproduce in countless ways on clothing, flags, posters, paintings, stationery, ornaments, awards, etc. I’m also sure its innocent origin made it even more of a slap in the face when chosen for hate.
But the “N” word is different. In this case the word itself is what evokes a response. It represents slavery, torture, murder, and the oppression of millions over a very long period of time up to and including the present. African Americans themselves have used it to tease, to taunt, but mostly to try to deprive the word of its power. The belief is the more it’s used in humor or sarcasm the more it’s robbed of its power. It just doesn’t seem to work. The word is more than offensive. It’s powerful and no matter who says it or why my teeth clinch when I hear it. The swastika and the “N” word have tremendous living power. The “F” word, by comparison, is nothing more than a way to vent. Though it can be turned into hate (he is a “F-ing” pig), it doesn’t denote an entire race. In fact, the “F” word is an equal opportunity defiler. No matter what race or gender we are anyone can be a “F-ing” whatever. (Remember the late George Carlin and his “seven dirty words”?)
Richard Pryor once told a story about a trip to Africa. He was a genius at imparting the truth through humor and pain. Toward the end of this particular story in a live stand-up performance he suddenly became serious for a moment and told the audience that after visiting Africa he could never ever use the “N” word again. After an entire lifetime of hearing the word and using it himself in humor and in anger he finally realized he could not use it anymore. Yet he struggled with it and occasionally it slipped out. The word was part of who he was for his entire life and it was similar to stopping any addiction.
He did not admonish the audience and left it up to them to decide whether or not to use that word but he chose not to. In research for this posting I learned he was determined not to use it for his stand-up routines but he wasn’t so sure he could stop it entirely in his private life. I know how he felt. It took me five years to stop smoking. Another evil habit.
The word itself started out innocently enough derived from Spanish, Portuguese, French, and Latin. The word negro means the color black. It is believed that in Colonial America white people called the African slaves by their color. It was not a racial slur (exactly) just a word to describe the color of the slaves. Why they didn’t simply use the word “slave” without the descriptive words regarding color is not clear. Maybe in their hearts they knew it was wrong to have slaves so it was easier to call them Negros. They weren’t “slaves,” they were Negros. Big difference?
The basic word went through many changes over time and was used in literature and by the common person on the street, including slaves themselves. The word eventually extended to many other dark skinned people and eventually became the slang and offensive word it is today.
As the word changed from a mere description to a derogatory slur many people attempted to change to “colored.” Those with hate in their hearts still held fast to the “N” word and those who were at least trying to change chose “colored.” African Americans also began calling themselves “colored.” The “N” word now had a life of its own and no longer retained its original simple meaning of the color black. “Colored” didn’t help.
Today we try to be politically correct. I applaud our efforts to try to not offend. It’s a huge task to go throughout our days without offending someone or an entire group. Sometimes it seems goofy when we try to embrace a culture or person or group or entity by coming up with a silly word to describe them.
I read a funny story about trying to come up with a word to describe overweight people in police incidents and they considered “large.” So when they described someone they would throw “large” into the descriptive narrative: brown hair, 5’ 5’, early thirties, glasses, large.” It was hilarious the way it was written because then they were consumed with worry about “large” versus “very large.” I believe the safest way to describe a suspect might be “approximate weight 300 pounds” and let it go at that.
But I like that many of us try to not offend. If we stop trying to open ourselves to others by ignoring offensive language we may not be aware of it when it’s right in front of us. Or aimed directly at us. Just because we may not have a word to describe our particular group doesn’t mean some nasty little word isn’t out there looking for a home. I remember the first time I heard “Bible thumper” and for the life of me I didn’t know what the user meant. Why would anyone thump a Bible? The list is huge. [Note: I had planned on listing several of the most popular slurs but when I started typing them my shoulders tightened up and my neck hurt and I deleted them. It’s much easier writing the “F” word, the “C” word, and the countless swear words we have at our disposal. No shoulder or neck pain but the demise of my blog I fear.]
It’s unlikely any of us would bring a framed photo of a swastika that we saw on a poster in our yoga class to our office. We may think it will bring a little “calm” to our cubicle, but most folks in the workplace would be horrified even when we tell them it is a symbol of peace and good luck. I believe a supervisor would have a quick quiet talk with us and our photo would disappear. Maybe in another couple of centuries the swastika could take back its original meaning and the “N” word . . . nah, not gonna happen. Pandora’s box has been opened and we aren’t getting the contents back in. Some believe “hope” is still stuck inside that box and I, for one, await its release.
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i use a combo of shea butter and aloe vera moisturizer. Works great. I use shea butter on my lips, around my eyes and nose (dry areas), My father swears by vasoline.
p.s. I dropped your name on Gina's post, Barb. ;)
I understood where Dr. Laura was coming from in that conversation. My black, Jamaiican friend calls her sister and relatives and other black friends, “Nigger” in a familial way, such as, “Nigger, you better check yourself”. It’s a touchy cultural thing I realize and I am not privy to of comfortable with the term. So, I never use it, not wanting to be misunderstood in my intent. I really can’t see Dr. Laura quitting radio simply because of this one call. She is amping up her online site and maybe there will be some great interactive things to come of that. Like, live chat. She is at a point in her career where she can cut back in areas that no longer hold as much interest. Good for her. And, I am sorry for the feelings of the caller if she felt at all slighted from the conversation they had. that’s why certain words or terms of endearment are not universal in nature.
I truly believe Dr. Laura was just trying to make a point. It’s my understanding she’s very straight-forward on her show and I think that’s all she was trying to do. But the tiny portions I heard made me cringe so I suspect she will remember this forever. As you said she is going in another direction and looking at other ways to develop her career. Maybe she wasn’t happy with her show and was looking for a way to move on and this did it! I think a lot of people were hurt by it and some felt betrayed. I think she realizes that now and is sorry she went so far. We’re never too old to learn.
Thank you for the time and energy you put into doing this post … as an African American I find it hard sometimes when European Americans try to determine whether a person is racist or not… racism is an illness and lurks like a cold sometimes depending on the circumstances where it will show up or not… I found that out after being in an integrated church for over a two years period when the “rule for Blacks to sit up front in the center became no longer the rule some whites whom I thought were so nice left the church ..one man and his wife I use to baby sit for one time I saw him down town and he acted as if he had never seen me in his life…even if he were afraid , he could have explained it to me at church later ..he never apologized…Thus I made a rule for all my white associates and “friends” if I see you in public I will not speak to you , you must speak to me first ,,,I felt so violated by that incident…being much older I really don’t care who speaks or don’t.
W were not allowed to call one another the N word..and many Blacks who so like you said it is a bad habit ….but one thing for sure when I read what a N was it really could be anybody who acts in that fashion..but it is as taboo as the symbols of hate the Dixie Flag and the Swastika as far as Dr. L.S… I don’t know of a White person who could be comfortable saying that word once much less numerous times to someone you don’t? She must have “lost it”
Your post was timely and very well done…. Thanks again
By the way I stayed in that church for over 32 years met some great wonderful white Christian , and yes some struggled with the ills of racism thought they hated it ..they were willing to work on it, some didn’t in the end it became to much to “wait on God” for the church to deal with it’s prejudice and racism… Nerly all of us need some therapy in this country of a melting pot that wants to “separate” when it comes to certain things “lines are drawn for many reason and many or for the wrong reason, and some are just personal choice.
I had the great pleasure to live in Detroit for a few years in my twenties. I was in the minority. I don’t think I had bias when I moved there but if I had ANY it was certainly gone by the time I left. I heard countless stories like the one you described. I couldn’t believe that my friends were often treated so horribly by “very nice” white people. I wonder when we’ll all truly get along and not see anything but a person? Thank you for your response. It was hard to write because I didn’t want to speak for African Americans but rather just as a person. Fine line!
You did a great job if only more people would take time like you and some others, things would get better.
Sharon n Fay, I agree with both of you, and thanks Sharon for a timely piece. This hate and word is taught at home and “church” by folks who want to claim GOD is just like them, oh my!!…TRACK
I hate that word. I hate it no matter who uses it. But I agree in totality that if it isn’t OK for Dr. Laura to use it………..its also not OK for Richard Pryor to use it. Or any other comedian. Or rapper. If it isn’t OK for a white person to use it, than a black person shouldn’t use it either.
Back in the day, I thought no one was funnier than Richard Pryor. I bought his albums. And when he came back from Africa saying “this $hit isn’t right”…..he was exactly right himself.
Racism exists. Its ugly. Its insidious. Regardless of the color the racist. And they come in all colors.
True indeed.
Racist can come in all colors but usually they come in the color of the people who holds the power … racism is only prejudice +hate + power (money and control such as government corporate) I could be prejudice or a hater …but I cannot be racist I have no power to control the future of anyone. The thing that make racism so harmful is the ability to hurt, exploit , incarcerate, destroy a persons life..it is ugly and insidious ..but it was designed as a word to describe what happen in this country to many AA who were set “free” without any security or finance to support themselves.. the few who had Owners that gave them were able to make it better than most. land if you ever get a chance look up a town call Rose Wood ..about a educated ,financially successful community of African American and how it was destroyed due to Racism…Hating me is one thing but having future in the hands of someone who hates you frightening.. Since we have just gotten our first AA President this country has been in the power of people who do not look like many of us as minorities are the New majority. Hate + Power = Destruction of not just a people but a nation.
I disagree Fayette. Racism is hatred. And hatred exists in the face of power and in the absence of power. The powerful have more opportunities to act on it, no question. Whether that is acknowledged or not.
Yes we both agree that it is hatred …But in the absence of power it does harm more to the hater than the hated..
New World Dictionary…
Racism..Any program or practice of racial discrimination,segregation,persecutions and domination based on racialism.
Racialism..doctrine or teaching without scientific support that claims to find racial difference in character , intelligence etc, that asserts the Superioty over another or others and tht seeks to maintain the suppose purity of a race or the races.
Now Dallas, the history of this country is covered in racism in it’s treatment of AA.
It has not be a good 41 years + that we have had to have Civil Right movements.. to fight for the HUMAN Rights of Black Americans…yes anybody can Hate anybody can be prejudice….but only people with power/government/ judicial system can use that hate in a racial way.
Even in the history of the Holocaust was that drop of Black blood used to the most evil use of power to kill millions men women and children, and so was the” African Holocaust where millions died before coming ashore…yes racism comes with power like no other.
I know that it is a hurtful word and I would not use it senseless on individuals unless they are in the position of power as a boss, police, judge, teacher . etc….and in those cases yes it can come in different colors but who has the most power ..
Fayette , please know I agree, respect and regret that racism existed in America, exists in America, and that African Americans have been the victim of it. I have never denied it, will never deny it. I’ve seen it, and had people I care about experience it.
However, not surprising, people dont recognize their own prejudices about it. All whites aren’t racists. All blacks aren’t. Neither are all hispanics.
But clearly yes — there are white racists. And black racists. And even Hispanic racists and Asian racists. Only its not politically correct to point that out. Everything good that has happened to me in my life didn’t happen because I’m white. And everything bad that has happened to you in your life didn’t happen because you are a person of color. I’ve had good in my life and I’ve had bad in my life. So have you. Some things happened because of bad luck, some because of good luck, some because of circumstances beyond our control, some because someone liked us, some because someone didn’t, and in both of the last 2 cases some because of our race, some because of our gender, some because of timing…… and yes–I’ll say it–some of the good and some of the bad because of choices we made as individuals.
And this is one I am not going to be politically correct about. Racists exist in all colors. And so does blindness to this.
Food for thought: I work in a very diverse team of 7. Ages range from late 30s to mid 50s. A highly educated group–mostly Masters, a couple of bachelors, 1 PhD. 4 women, 3 men. 3 whites. 2 hispanics. 1 Asian. 1 African American. 2-3 gays. (Ok, there is 1 metrosexual I’m just not sure about~!) The point of this: After working together very successfully for several years, we’ve had some very candid, open conversations about race. During a recent one a few weeks ago, the younger ones told us older ones (me and a Hispanic male in his mid 50s) that we were way more sensitive to race and thought more about race than they did. Basically they told us they were approaching being “over it” to the same degree that we (the 50 somethings) brought it up. That they grew up under a different environment, that they thanked us for paving the one but that their world view on race is very differnt than ours. And oh yeah–one of the males (the early 40s, AA PhD) also said he thought women focused it these issues in 2010 way more than men.
I immediately thought of VN. All of their comments rang a litte true to me. Don’t know that it means anything to anyone else here. But it is something to consider. Are the younger generation over this? Are we the ones perpetuating it?
Never said racism was owed by all Whites the system…. I was asked to start up dialog after I wrote a Great loving post of an experience that my Husband had with a little white girl and her reaction to her Black doll… A very positive post of a mother who was teaching her daughter love. .
The racist attacks on President Obama with what many of us had long since tried to put behind had re-emerged with the Tea Party and their banners and posters of monkeys and yes the media has played a real part in the up-rise of racist images. and as far as what men focus on in my opinion is far less what women focus on any subject..we are wired that way….I guess Shirley Sherrod was just that last straw.
You now Dallas what we all really need is a little more and some a lot more LOVE.
This is my last quote on my respones ansd I say it again
I know that it is a hurtful word and I would not use it senseless on individuals unless they are in the position of power as a boss, police, judge, teacher . etc….and in those cases yes it can come in different colors but who has the most power ..
Fayette–thanks for the followup but you didn’t respond to my latter point and candidly I am very curious:
What is your reaction to the suggestion from those 20 years younger than we are that maybe–just maybe–we need to get over it to the degree we seem to be holding on to it? That our experiences aren’t theirs? That those experiences belong to a different time? And that we are perpetuating something that may just not be there to the same degree as we think it is in our self centered humanistic tendancies?
Its an interesting question…………………well it is at least to me~!
I guess if I was not involved with the community on a personal basis and personally know people who are finding themselves under a new kind of racist attack it is more hidden We don’t ahve the No colored signs,,etc…. you will always find some who live in another world , But you are right if we leave the young people alone it would heal faster... right now we are facing many of AA and Latino children who are being given “Felonies for the same thing others are given misdemeanors…and trust me Dallas I know many Whites who agree as they come into the arena of these children and see the injustice….so once again it is not the prejudice or hate of regular people it is when the system is still playing into this game of race.
The issue is bigger than just getting alone our children are more united than we will ever be ..but when the older people get involved and the system takes over….it is what it is .
I hope that answer this for you it’s is so very hard to explain this in a few words and be political correct….right her in Texas we have just had ^ Black men let out after some spending 22 years for crimes they did not commit and many because of racist actions that take place in the justice system,We just got rid of a DA who proved to be just that… They got the emails and text to prove it..
If we can continue to talk like we are even if we do not totaly agree one thing I do believe you care enough to dialogue and that is good enough for me…so thanks
No political correctness here, just god’s honest truth in the only way I know how………..I think we are all blinded by our own experiences. And yet we also find exactly what we look for. And the truth is always somewhere in between the 2. And you are right: Love and understanding and openness go a long way.
Thanks for sharing this evening~!!!
You are welcome I have always liked blogging with you you help me “sharpen up”…since our first misunderstanding I was new OMG!!…(lol
Sleep well!!
)Got to go !!! to the station tonight the subject is RAPE and it is equal opportunity horror !!!!!!! (:
I, personally, am so tired of this politically correct stuff that I could just scream! If someone is calling someone else a bad name, it’s just plain not nice. If someone is using that word as a description of what someone else said, it’s just NOT the same thing.
I, a plain old WASP, can be called bad names by AAs (makes me think of Alcoholics Anonymous LOL) but I can’t use the N word to desribe what was said by someone else? Nonsense.
I don’t believe I’m racist or prejudiced, but really? Name-calling is one thing. Quoting names that someone else used is quite another.
I too believe that if we cannot “quote” then we cannot describe or give facts as stated…. there are certain era in which we lived that certain words were the norm…. I guess balance is hard to come by ..but then some would be quoting all the time(smile).
Watch this and see if you change your mind: http://www.webtvhub.com/watch-jon-stewart-on-dr-laura-schlessinger-using-the-n-word-video/
Watch this and see if you change your mind: http://www.webtvhub.com/watch-jon-stewart-on-dr-laura-schlessinger-using-the-n-word-video/
I wasn’t going to comment on this post but felt I should add my $.01. Dr. Laura could have made her point by just saying “The N Word”–not to constantly repeat “Nigger” She chose her words and I dont believe it’s because she wasn’t thinking.
When you are in the media, you must be held to a higher standard because you are swaying public opinion. For those of you who say you are NEVER influenced by the media, I say you’re lying.
For as many people who were outraged by what she said, you also had some folks listening who were cheering her on and I’m sure she’s gottens tons of letters of support.
Racism is deeply embedded in our nation and continues to fester by those who have a forum to spew such hatred–like Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck.
Not too long ago I caught a G Beck show. He was doing something on Black History and his entire audience was Black (of course they were moderates/conservatives). What racism have you heard from him – just curious.
I would have used the term “N word” myself, but I’m just me. I don’t see or hear a lot of racism in my neck of the woods (I do, literally, live in the woods) but since my son is half black (is that still politically correct?), I just don’t like that word!
I also happen to occasionally enjoy Rush Limbaugh (haven’t followed Glenn Beck enough to comment) and haven’t, yet, heard anything from him that I’d find offensive. But then, I’m not a politically correct type, either.
I might also appreciate it when the black community called me the “C word” instead of a cracker or the “H word” instead of a honky. And, I’ll admit it: I like being called a redneck!
Ms. Mahone;
We have a black president (ok,ok biracial) one of the richest and most powerful women on the planet is black, blacks have been prominent in the last 3 WH administartions. The country is not perfect that is a fact but it has indeed come a long way.
I am very interested, as a mother of a bi-racial child, to have an open dialogue with black people about our history and the current stte of affairs as they see them. I asked several of my blacks friends and they all demurred, some vehemently so.
As for Glenn Beck and Rush Limabaugh, while I don’t agree with them all the time, I don’t believe they are rascist. And I will wager that you may not have watched them long enough to make a definitive judgement; or you may be influenced by some segments of the media.
thank you
virago