That phrase can be taken in many ways. First of all, since my husband was diagnosed with dementia and passed away 8 years later, I have been traveling alone in life. I made a huge leap out of my comfort zone and moved from Florida to NYC where I knew no one, to try to make a life for myself made of things I am passionate about. And I have.
I have friends in all the places I’ve ever lived and overseas as well. But, here in NYC it has been difficult to find friends. I’m friendly, intelligent, kind, creative. I go places where women may appear who like the same things I do. I do volunteer work. I’ve talked to women and men I work with. We’ve been to lunch together. I’ve had some of them to my home. And have never been invited back or to join a group of other of their friends. So, the experience I have had in NYC making friends has been a negative one in the main, and has led to my conclusion that: It’s difficult to make new friends at my age (74 but 66 when I moved to NYC); that the women I’ve met don’t really want or need a new friend; that I certainly won’t be invited to attend any ‘couples’ parties; and that I have to figure out where the women are, preferably in my age bracket, who might want to know someone new. I’ve been here 8 years and have two friends, whom I treasure, but I’d like more.
Which brings me to my last point about ‘traveling alone.’ I want to travel to England where my husband and I spent a lot of time. I want to go while I am still healthy and fit. Neither friend in NYC can join me. Friends in other States are possibilities but some have already traveled a great deal and wish to be at home for awhile, or their time frame and mine are not compatible. That may leave me to go alone. I’m not afraid to be alone. I’m not afraid of flying. I’m shy to be on a ship crossing the pond for 5 days. Just like Middle School again. Who will I be seated with, if anyone? Will I look like the women I used to see seated alone, whom I judged I’m sure as other than they were…sad and lonely. I don’t ever know how old I am until I pass my mirror. On the subway when kind people offer me a seat…I thank them and say ‘no thanks…don’t let the white hair fool you.’ They always smile, but it makes me feel better to let them see that I am perfectly able to stand and hang on to a pole for as long as I have to. At least for now.
So, my question to all of you out there is: Have you had this experience? I realize that I might feel this way even if I were 50, so it’s not just an age thing. It’s an “I’m alone and would, at times, really like to have more people like me to talk with, to do things with…especially to travel with…where are they… thing” And the solution may just be to go it alone and enjoy doing it.
i use a combo of shea butter and aloe vera moisturizer. Works great. I use shea butter on my lips, around my eyes and nose (dry areas), My father swears by vasoline.
p.s. I dropped your name on Gina's post, Barb. ;)
I left you a comment but it disappeared into cyber space….
Here is what I said…I have never traveled alone but I think you are a beautiful and VIBRANT woman. If I lived in NYC, I would love to have you as a friend. You sound very interesting.
p.s. Since my first comment disappeared, I will add a few more thoughts. I think the world has changed and it is a challenge to make friends anywhere . Please do not think it is just where you live.
I say…Go and enjoy yourself. Many women on this site have traveled alone and they all seem to love it!
How kind and sweet of you, Debi. Too bad you’re not in the Big Apple. I really didn’t think that finding friendships difficult was true only to NYC but it’s what I have known here for these last 8 years. Maybe the next will prove me wrong. But, I will, most certainly travel, if only to prove to myself that I can do it. Something I keep doing!
Sheila, I, too, am widowed and presently alone. I moved to an active retirement community in Arizona and find it very easy to make new friends. I believe that it is easier in a community made up of “new” residents who are in an area where there are few long-time close friends. Newcomers have the time and enthusiasm to become aquainted.
In a city where most people have lived for years, many have a large circle of close friends. With traditional social events they have little time left to explore new relationships, even if they would enjoy doing so.
As for travelling alone, when I decide to go somewhere, I make approximate plans, then write to everyone I know in a mass mailing. Usually at least one friend or acquaintance is interested. Why not post here?
This is my 3rd widowhood, so my organizational skills are improving. It would seem as if it would be a wonderful service to offer to organize a site here for those of us who would enjoy traveling with a mature, open-minded vibrant woman!
Hi, Gail,
I was sorry to read that you have been widowed three times. But your great line about your ‘organizational skills’ made me laugh. I do know what you mean. Good idea about having a site on VN for women who would like to travel together. I also know that retirement communities are good places for making new friends. It’s just not in my line of sight for now. Thanks for your response and I wish you all good things.