Today’s Featured Comment
From Barbara Elaine Singer – “Life Reinventor Coach”
Kelly asked, “I am following a similar transition path as you and I am curious if you ever see a person like the person who you used to be, say a stylish blond driving in her Lexus SUV with her reflecting Gucci glasses, and think you might like to be there again or are you so happy that you are okay with the world you left behind. Just curious…”
Here’s my response.
I am so happy and find “wealth and riches” in non-material things. I do think it is tough to get off the money wheel and remain living in the US.
Marketing is so strong that we really believe that happiness is in the next thing. In the US, we assign self worth to material things, your job and outward appearance. I look immediately beyond that and look at the person. If they are loving their life and work and the car is by-product of a joyful and abundant life, then PERFECT! For me, material possessions became a weight and never ending time/money pit.
I would not trade time, freedom and adventure for “stuff.” When I see a pretty car or jewelry, I can still admire it but there is no feeling of wanting to own it. I know that I would have to “trade” my freedom and time to earn the money to buy the “thing”, that I soon wouldn’t love as much and be on to the next thing. Where I live, the disparity between the haves and the have nots is very small. Everyone drives a Fred Flintstone car and business people in suits ride their bikes to work. Everything is old. I don’t feel like they have stuff and I don’t.
Replace what you are eliminating with a new activity or scenery in order not to feel lack or punishment.
If you didn’t have TV, at first it would feel very empty and boring at night, so replacing that with doing a puzzle, reading, music, painting or taking on line classes, working out or taking a walk outside after dinner.
Turn Down Time into Thinking and Gratitude Time!
Can you imagine getting up everyday and saying, “What do I want to do today rather than rushing through an overbooked day and chipping away at a never ending errand list which is only to maintain your stuff? Without possession, there is nothing to take care of. Now I make sure I am outside for the sunset, I love the birds chirping and having my morning coffee on the terrace.
Because of the language barrier, I must intentionally choose and find music, something to read and something to learn about. I am not bombarded and moving through life on autopilot. When you do your own thinking, you see the world differently.
Time and freedom are like a muscle that takes time and training to grow!
[This comment was originally posted in this conversation. ~ Eds.]
What would you shed from your life to make room for the things that really matter?
Yes I get that you meant in the work place, not dating. But the original poster did use the example of Julia Roberts getting what she wants from a man by using her femininity. I don't see that as strong. As you know she was a hooker? This comparison 
Excellent. I am about to leave the work force for the first time in 45 years and am having alternating feelings of exultation and anxiety. We live in a small resort town where there is a huge disparity of wealth. Our population swells from 3,000 in the winter to 35,000 in the summer – and that doesn’t include those who are here to vacation!
I have always struggled with the image our town aims to portray in order to attract the wealthy. I am looking forward to seeing if I will be able to let go of that struggle when I am no longer faced with it on a daily basis.
There are numerous opportunities here to make a difference, even if I don’t belong to THE club. Keeping my fingers crossed.
Hi Jett, I just retired after 25 years of teaching school. It is just beginning to sink in and I’m trying to just let myself feel whatever I feel. I’m hoping that by New Year’s I will have settled into some kind of pattern or routine, or at least gained some insights. Right now I’m in that uncomfortable place known as the “creative void.” Some days I like it, somedays I don’t.
I thank God everyday for the gift that I got for 2-1/2 yrs. I was in a relationship with someone that I thought was the last relationship of my life. We dated and lived together for over a period of 3 yrs. We both had lost our mates to death. I sold all my worldly possessions and took to the road in a 40′ Class A motorhome with car in tow. We traveled the NE coastline, through the mountains of NH down the coast to DC and across to VA, TN, TX, NM, AZ (my favorite) NV, then the whole Gulf coastline and down the west of FL until he decided to desert me there, leaving me 1200 from home in a broken down motorhome alone. But, in spite of how my travels ended, I wouldn’t trade that traveling experience for anything in the world. I left the expensive furniture, classy townhouse, and Lexus behind. But, there wasn’t one day – even now that it’s over – that I don’t thank God for the wonderful days and the experiences I’ve had. My only two regrets is that, 1. I was with the wrong person, and 2. I’m not still doing it. First of all, you must understand that there’s a big difference between an RVer and a camper. I’m an RVer. Rvers stay at camping resorts – not campgrounds. We enjoy all the luxuries. Cable, WIFI, pools, activities, and so much more. There’s a life out there that most have no idea exists. There’s beautiful landscapes – no mowing, gorgeous pools – no cleaning them. No responsibilities or expenses of maintaining a home. The trade offs is perhaps fuel costs? Well, it’s only expensive the more you move. But, there are places that you want to stay for a whole season. No fuel costs then. I’ve seen places that I’ve only seen on TV or the movies. But up close and personal was phenomenal. And I met more friendly and interesting people than I had in years of sitting in the same spot. I only wish that I could do it again. I’m back to living in the bricks and mortar life, and I would trade it in a minute to go back again. Now, I have to start accumulating all that “STUFF” again. Stuff that neither I want or my children care about. Once your family has moved on with their life – it’s time to move on with yours. There’s a difference between living and existing. I’m glad I had the opportunity to see the difference. I only hope that I have that opportunity again.
- Gooodness! You sound wonderful.Hell I would like to visit you and stay in one of those resorts!!! my husband would never do such a thing but it sounds like something I would do with a girlfriend for 2-4 months,especially when it is winter in the northeast>let me know!
Your husband has no idea of what a wonderful opportunity he’s missing in life. It’s usually the women who don’t want to leave their homes to seek adventure. I was skeptical at first, but the longer I was out there, the more I loved it. Safety was never a problem. The only problem was trying to figure out where to go next. Now that I’m back, I’m back to working 4 days a week because there is no other life if you’re used to being around other people. I think retirement is only needed part-time. We shouldn’t work as hard as we had to all of our lives, but we’ll deteriorate if we stop completely. After all, how much golf can you play? Or fishing? But, when you travel like that, you can play golf and go fishing at a different place each time. Take the adventure while you can. I met people in wheel chairs, traveling in motorhomes and loving every day. YOU GO GIRL!
I know this may sound trite to some, but THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE ARE NOT THINGS!
we buy into the commercialism but really, does it make you happy? Not me. that is why I sold my house and am moving to Italy….I know that I will not have the material things that my American couterparts have but I no longer care.
Life is too short
Well, after living in this country, traveling a good part of it, I wouldn’t move to another country. Especially since I have family all over the U.S. That’s why motorhoming was perfect for me. If you ever missed anyone in your family, all you have to do is plan a visit with them and go see them. Then, it’s back out to adventureland again. And, you can chase the sunshine. If you don’t like the cold, do as so many others do. Go South in the winter, and North in the summer. And, you don’t have to own a house in two different locations. Just take your house with you. Go to a RV show sometime. You will be shocked at what’s moving down the road. I had my own 42 in. flat screen TV, my own washer/dryer, sit down shower, continuous hot water, granite countertops, the whole nine yards. And, it opened up into a small apartment whenever I was parked in a resort. I spent less on one month in Vegas, at a gorgeous resort, with all the amenities, than I’ve spent on a 4-day vacation there with flight and hotel. And, I never had to pack/unpack, or stand in lines in an airport. It’s called FREEDOM.