For many of us, these tough times are uncharted waters. My mother, who grew up during the Depression, is on a fixed income and has her own fears, but still she said to me: “I think there will be a lot of good to come out of this.”
I’ve had the same thought. We’ve all had too much in this country. We’ve spent too much and we haven’t appreciated what we had. Our culture has been about faster, faster, more, more- and I’m as bad as anyone. If I saw a cute pocketbook at Target that only cost $10.99, I would buy it because $10.99 felt free. I’d pat myself on the back because it was “only Target”. But it’s simply a matter of scale. For someone else, it might have been a $2,500 purse at Saks. It didn’t seem to be a huge crime – we had the money in our pockets, why not spend it? But we didn’t need these things. It was a bad cultural habit, and most of us fell into it.
Now things have fallen apart and suddenly we all have to stop and think twice. Maybe that’s a good thing. My mother lived though a time when she didn’t have very much – no one did – and still, somehow, her world didn’t come crashing down. Maybe it’s time we learned that lesson too.
The recession has changed the stage set I’d cast for my own personal play, but I still feel optimistic about the future. I’m in a relationship that feels solid and loving and makes me happy. Russ and I are healthy. We have our children. We can hang out at the farm and eat potatoes if we have to. That doesn’t sound like a scary picture to me. We have the things that are important. I’ve asked myself if it matters whether we have to eat potatoes, or live, if worse comes to worst, God knows where (a homeless shelter??) – let alone ever get to Italy. And the answer is no.
My optimism isn’t based on a delusion that things will go back to what they were before. I just happen to believe that somehow Russ and I, and all of us, can patch things together, make do, and be happy. I’ve learned the hard way that real optimism has less to do with what happens to you in your life than how you handle it. You meet what comes, play the cards you’re dealt. In the end, happiness isn’t determined by outside circumstances, but rather by an inner condition. An attitude that, when trouble hits, allows you to respond with, “This is interesting. I wonder what will happen next?” We can choose to be curious, and open to possibilities, instead of panicked. We can choose hope.
[This was first posted as part of this conversation ~ Eds.]
thank you so much Lisa, that helps a lot. I know he tried to blame me for so much stuff, but like I told all of his family and mine none of that added up to a divorce. I do realize it's his needs, it just hurts so bad to think how many years he's
How funny....i only very recently (within last week) read the coconut oil articles on the web. (100 uses, 80 uses etc.) so i bouht some and ordered some from amazon. (Im a stockpiler.)
Have started trying some of the uses. I tried using it a
The recession has not changed my life style, since I’ve always lived within my means. Maybe this recession will teach people a few lessons. Although, we talk about saving energy, every other car on the road is a SUV.
We lived within our means too. No credit card debt. Money in savings. And then in September of 2008 I lost my job. It’s been a year and 9 months now and I’ve sent hundreds and hundreds of resumes and done networking until my contacts are tired of hearing from me. And despite a few interviews here and there, I’ve had no luck. We can now see the end of our savings in the near future (and that’s only if nothing happens that requires a chunk of money…i.e. car problems, health issues, etc.). We didn’t get a sub-prime mortgage. We’ve been in the same house for more than a decade and it’s small and simple. I just wanted to say that not everyone who is suffering right now is doing so because they lived beyond their means. Sometimes things just happen. I’m so very thankful that our savings has lasted this long…and that we had a savings to begin with.
Wish you the best!
Great post! I don’t think what’s happening is a bad thing. I know it’s an opportunity. We have been living in La La land, myself included. Now, we get to reassess where we want to live from values that are more aligned with the common good of all of us. I like that people are planting small gardens and shopping at thrift stores again. Being frugal is becoming hip and its better for the environment. Things are changing. When don’t they? It’s all part of the wilderness experience of being human.