Uncertainty, floundering, transitions at age 60

I just read the thread from a member wondering about going back to school at age 57, and it was/is such a great thread…thanks!

This could be long, so you are forewarned!

I stayed in a 16 yr or so “career” that became unpleasant, stressful, and I stopped my job there abruptly in the summer. Too much stress.

I had known it didn’t feel good for a few years; I did not know how to change it. So I’ve had way too much time on my hands now — due to thrifty habits during a 25 yr. marriage during which I raised two sons mostly alone, I had enough money set by to not have to work right away now.  But I was/am scared to try other things –

I finally got to volunteer recently at the Humane Society. It’s just a little thing, and I don’t see it becoming a paid job now. I am so leery of jumping into something just to have a job, that it is very hard to try new things.

(I’m writing this for me too, to kind of put it in order.) Since summer I have gone to a good yoga class at least once a week. I read way too much; live alone…tried to have a puppy in the summer but my nerves were shot and it didn’t work out, although he’s very happy in his new home! I had, with my family, cats and dogs, the last of which died last year.

30 yrs. ago I got a degree in accounting…so I tried out doing taxes thru the AARP tax volunteer program in December this year, and I really did not like it, so that’s something I had to make myself do, only to find out that path wasn’t in alignment with me…my computer skills with acctg. are very minimal now,also..and I am sort of more of a people person, verbal, can write..good with numbers still anyhow…

I’m drawn to the kindness and goodwill at the Humane Society…on both the human and the critter side!

I have an MSW (social work) that I completed when I was 45 or so, and worked in that field til last summer, when I burnt out on too much trauma & not enough resources.

I don’t know where I’ll “wind up.” I’m taking a short “Word” class at a junior college, as I am a Mac person and the work world is mostly pc’s, if that’s where I wind up.

I don’t have a clearly thought through plan of what I want to do. I do know I can’t just sit around a read.It’s too lonely. I also don’t feel up to volunteering in situations too similar to my 16 years of social work…makes me too sad.

My “inner critics” — hah, well, they scold me for not knowing what I would like to do.

I might enjoy a retreat with some yoga and meditation — but I hold off thinking, you have to figure out what you are going to do…here, in your life, in this city.

I am taking a one night seminar about managing money — as I need to be careful investments I am using to live on are reasonably invested.

I don’t have one “passion.” My kids live far away — I’m single, have some friendships I value…

I get scared to go try something…the inner critic says, well, you should already KNOW what you want. So it gets hard, and I could use some encouragement –

It’s kind of like I don’t trust myself, as my social work agency became very broke and had poor morale…and we lost so many resources we couldn’t help people as we had in the past. I should have had a planned transition out of that place. But I guess I thought/hoped it would get better, or that I had made my bed and should just cope.

Both my parents live in different states 2,000 miles away, ages 89 & 90. I think they will be gone soon, so that’s another challenge…and when I turned 60 I was totally floored that I hadn’t figured my life out yet, and both parents became ill. I couldn’t take care of my own clients at work, or stop my parents inevitable declines, or even myself!

So thanks for letting me write this here…I’m drawn to kindness, to people; I’m pretty healthy, at times lonely and I know I need to be busier.

If I had something I liked doing, even if it didn’t pay great, I would do it…

Another thing I tried was attending an Inter-Faith center … but I didn’t feel comfortable, so I don’t go there now. I did find a 2x a month group for personal, group spiritual exploration that is very nice…it’s just not enough…

I think I need permission to just go check things out, even if I wind up not liking it…last year I volunteered at a local concert place, did it for a few months and lost interest –

Sometimes things just feel wrong…it may take me a while to realize that’s how I’m feeling…and I get discouraged at having to keep trying things out…

Oh, another self-criticism is that I spent 10 years (from 50-60) getting thru a long divorce, and should have been attending more to finding out what is right for me, that I wasted those ten years…(it helps to let this one go by writing it)

It’s like, my mind says, “you should be doing something” and “why don’t you know what you like?” And, “you don’t have a lot of time left to figure things out.”

Thanks if you made it to the end of this long one!