| Starting Over (again!) | Hot Conversation |
Here’s the story: In the last 3 months I have lost my home to foreclosure, lost my job AND turned 60. My closest family members are no longer alive, I have no children and have never been married (although I’d love to be, even at my age).
Despite all of the above, I find myself strangely optimistic about the future. Can anyone relate???
Posted in family & relationships, spirituality, work & money.
Related posts:
61 Responses
You must be logged in to post a comment.
I wish everyone thought like you!
Remember the movie "Eat,Pray ,Love" with Julia Roberts and a scene where her friend Sophie said she couldn't eat too much pizza because she gained too much weight and had a muffin top.Julia Roberts or Liz said a man didn't really care because h
Rose:
Where are the friends of YOU and YOUR Husband before he passed? Those are the ones to keep in your life. All these "other" people who are popping up now are not friends as you can see.
I agree with the comment about finding a financia
to soledad, i want to tell you that the younger men i had sex with did not care at all about my saggy boobs. the recent man said he loved them, and i knew he was not just making it up. i will not get into detail about why he said they were fun but be
My rule of thumb is my kids ALWAYS..ALWAYS..ALWAYS come first. When they see a RED FLAG, they say something. I learned a long time ago to listen. ( kids ages 31, 29, 21 and 17)
Let that guy go, all the ladies are ABSOLUTELY CORRECT. He is an
Boy do you have a great attitude, at such a time as this! I wish you the very best of all tomorrows! You have an award winning smile, GOD bless and may you enjoy your journey…TRACK…BTW Happy Birthday!
Thanks so much! I appreciate the support. Peace and blessings to yuo.
How did a gorgeous , well centered (I assume) woman like you have never married? Though, I know , it isn’t for everyone….=] I agree with TRACK, your attitude is wonderful! Best wishes as you continue your journey!=]
Thanks, Gamma. I hope I’m gorgeous and well-centered, but you could probably get some people to argue with that. LOL! Have a great day.
well, I went to your blog, and I am very impressed by your writing, and independence….Also, of course your fabulous weight loss and book….I looked it up on Amazon and they said there were not any….? I wish I was as brave as you seem to be….=]
Yes, Amazon is out of stock. They should have more copies soon, or you can get it through my web site. Thanks checking into it. That little book is my “baby.” Another act of faith.
There are those who hate and/or are afraid of change, and then there is you! Change is the one thing we can count on in life (besides death and taxes ☺) so we may as well embrace it and make good use of it!
I lost my job a couple of years ago and have found nothing. I had nothing to fall back on, except that I own my home (no mortgage) which is only partially finished. Life has been really tough lately, but I only allow it to get me down once in a while for a very, very short time. I prefer to be optimistic and know that there’s a great future, too.
Keep up the good “work” and I look forward to following your adventures in your blog (which I found on your bio page). All the best! ♥
Yes, a lot of people are going through tough times. I’m so grateful I have my health. I need to focus on the blessings, because there have been (and continue to be) MANY! Take care and all the best to you, too.
Great picture, btw. I can relate. I am optimistic about the future most of the time but that may be simply my faith talking.
Yes, faith is the key. In fact, faith is the only way for me.
Have you looked in the mirror? From your picture you are stunning and that comes from such a positive power from within. You will attract good things when you feel powerful. All the best to you. Keep smiling
I’m from the school of thought that if you continue to smile, even through your tears, things will always get better. I am learning so many wonderful lessons as I go on this journey. Thanks for replying to my post.
Eleanor, you have a wonderful attitude! You say in your BIO that you are taking a year off and have travelled to Australia, New Zealand and Canada..was that before you lost your job and had your home foreclosed or after? 60 is a good age to be
The traveling has been on of the greatest MIRACLES so far. I lost my home just before starting the traveling. Someone gave me the GIFT of a trip because of what I was going through. While I was on the trip, I lost the job!!! Of course, I panicked, but then I began to think maybe this was an opportunity. Amazingly, I have been able to continue to travel on a shoestring budget via motels, sofas, the kindness of friends. It is turning into an amazing journey! I have decided to see if I can do it for a year. I have no idea what will happen. I am taking it one step at a time.
GO for it girl!!!
Eleanor, have a wonderFULL time finding your roots and another part of yourself. I love the saying, “God knew this day was coming.” I always say too, “He is not surprised.”
Keep your hope and faith in your heart. Be ready for the new and unkown and treasure having the freedom to pursue whatever He has for you. God bless you~!
I had not heard that phrase before, “God knew this day was coming.” I LOVE THAT! What a great concept. I will treasure that one. Thank you.
Hi Eleanor
Glad it gave you a little lift. Have a best/BLEST day~!
when you lose your job at 60, it’s like an early retirement [although forced upon you]. I’m with you. Always the Optimist, no matter how rough it gets. We all have our load to carry, but I won’t let it stop me. Life is too short to throw in the towel. Enjoy your travel and make the best of your situation. Sorry, you lost your house, hopefully things will work out well for you in the end. With your looks, your smile and outgoing personality you might just find a really cool dude on your travels and bring him back with you. Take care and best wishes, Sabina
Thank you, sweetheart. I will be on the lookout for that dude!
I have so enjoyed your positive attitude. and all it takes is faith that things will go with the flow of life and you are on your way , keep smiling and enjoying life… Good to have you aboard.
This has all been so encouraging. I have felt somewhat ashamed to be in this situation at this stage of life, but I am realizing more and more that I am not unique, and I am not alone. Thanks for your note.
You are definitely not alone in the situational sense; except that I’m not traveling! But that’s pretty much okay with me; I’m very much a homebody. ♥
Never be ashamed of anything that can be changed, and without the downs of life we would not appreciate the Ups… It really brings what I like to call “Texture”to our lives (AF)
Tests and trials are part of the journey.
Energize the mind
X out the old problems
Take time to think
Understand there is a plan
Remember the Sun Still Shines
Easier when we flow we flow with the stream
Fantastic!
Eleanor,
Welcome to VN. What a beautiful attitude and fantastic outlook you have on life. Your personality shines… like the golden sun. I hope you enjoy your early retirement and your senior years. Based on the positive energy I feel from just looking at your picture… and… digesting your words… I can almost guarantee… at some point in the near future… our paths will cross… because… there’s an instant kinship of the spirit.
As you continue your travels… I pray that: God will open up the doors of heaven… allow His Blessings to Protect you… and… that you will meet many beautiful individuals along the way… who are just like yourself. Again, welcome to VN. Jo
I need those prayers, Josephine. You pray for me and I’ll pray for you. Thank you.
Your spirit, energy, and positive attitude are inspiring Eleanor. Transitions can be uncomfortable (to say the least!) but as they say, when one door closes, another one opens; it’s just a matter of being on the lookout for the opening door and being willing to step through it. I suspect you’re going to thrive in your new life.
Thank you, Angel. I haven’t been on VN for awhile and I’m just seeing your comment. I am being gentle with myself through this transition. It has not been all roses, but it hasn’t been all thorns either! Peace.
I typed a response and it disappeared from my screen! Rather than try to recreate it, I just wanted to say thank you for your kind message.
Now, the other message is back! Guess there was some kind of delay mechanism in place. Okay!
Eleanor,
If you are a seamstress-have I got a deal for you LOL.My late husband leftt me with many sewing machines and supplies.I would love to share as I do not sew.I live on the east coast.I throw this out to you as a stimulus to create.You have a beautiful spirit.I think the best is yet to come.
I couldn’t sew a seam if my life depended on it! LOL!!! Thanks for the offer. That’s very sweet of you. I hope those machines find a good home. And I believe that the best IS yet to come!
Yes I can. I turn 60 on April 30th. I just had a near death experience because a doctor made a huge error. I had to leave my job and am not healthy enough to go out to work. I started a business that should be making good money by now but got sick immediately after. We have more debt now than any other time in our lives because of a poor economy and our youngest child’s very expensive college. But….I have been married 38 years, my hubby is a four year cancer survivor, I have 2 great grown children, a wonderful son in law, 3 precious grandchildren and I can get out of bed every morning.
Whenever I start to get down I think about the people in Japan. I am so very optimistic and so happy in spite of all the things I am dealing with. Life is good. Gracie1951
God bless you! I hear so much hope and faith in what you wrote, even though you are going through quite a lot. Happy Birthday. Isn’t it wonderful to be alive?
I relate! I have lost everything now, health, mate, house, job. But in the back of my mind a little voice keeps niggling away, I can now do anything! Tie a bandana on a stick and take off! (Still too scared to act but the voice is there!) And I take solace in the fact that I am not alone, this is happening to many many others at this time. Maybe we have a journey ahead of us to find a solution! (Is 60 too old for the Peace Corps?)
I remember Jimmy Carter’s mother, Miss Lillian, joined the Peace Corps, and I’m sure she was older than 60 at the time. That sounds like it could be a great adventure. I am finding that there is a certain freedom in losing your “stuff.” It’s all temporary, anyway. It makes you reflect on what is really important. I went to a funeral recently and everyone shared memories about things they had done with the person who passed away. Not one person mentioned the kind of car she drove, the clothes she wore, her house, etc. In the end, it is the love we share with people along the way that matters. Go on and join the Peace Corps, girl!
Thanks for sharing your story Eleanor – I turn 60 in July and cannot believe that I am going to be that age. I am looking at this as a transformation into a beautiful, wise and adventurous woman. I want all women 60+ to shine and to be vibrant – your story shows that they can, regardless of the circumstances!
Jeanette
Have you noticed that there are a lot of good-looking 60 year olds out there lately? I don’t know if it’s because I’m finally paying attention to people that age, or if it’s because 60 isn’t what it used to be. Whatever the case may be, I’ve decided that I’m going to do my best to age gracefully. By that I mean, I do not want to deny my age, but savor the beauty of living a long time. I think there is a certain beauty in that. Not beauty in the Hollywood sense, but a beauty that deepens within us all as we live our lives.
Hello sister, I can totally relate to your story. I am 61, losing my home of 20 years, my job will end in June due to funding cuts. unmarried (divorced 25 years), but would like to get married again. I had three major surgeries and a hip dislocation in an 18 month period, still healing. But I share your sense of optimism about the future!!! I don’t see it as starting over, but entering the next phase of life. I am excited about the opportunity for new experiences, to meet new people and see new things. Your sense of optimism is your spirit telling you that for every door that closes, another one opens; every ending clears the way for a new beginning. Enjoy the journey!!!
I love all that you said. Wow. Not starting over. Entering the next phase of life. Yes, we are building upon, developing, growing, deepening, expanding, not starting over. What a “healing” message you sent to me. You ARE a doctor!
Eleanor,
I can really relate to your post. I too am almost 60….My life has changed dramatically in every way. I have been a successful woman in the past, and the last five years have been spent healing from an extremely abusive marriage. It was amazing, even to me, how abused I really was after leaving. Now, I am on the cusp of re-entering life and I am optimistic that it will hold great things for me. I am in a great relationship, I may go back to school, or start a business…whatever I choose to do; it will be done with a much clearer, wiser compassionate mind. I believe in the value of “Sage Women” and look forward to this next chapter in my life!
I know something about abuse and the impact it can have on a person’s soul. Healing takes time, and I have learned the importance of taking a gentle path. It sounds like you are well on your way. I wish you as much joy as you can stand, because it sounds like you deserve it. Much love to you.
Thank you for your support and loving wishes. It has been quite a journey but one I knew I had to take (thru the muck…) in order to start clean. I had done so much “covering up”… for so many years…I had pain in every pore of my body! It never occured to me that my Rhuematoid Arthritis, Fibromyalgia issues could be related to all the ‘holding in’, and falsehoods I was living. I am at least 70% pain free now and I credit my therapy and something called EMDR, which is an emotional release. I would urge anyone still “stuck” or in pain, who has been in a abusive situation to try this form of therapy which has worked so well for Post Traumatic Stress victims.
I can. When I turned 60 …husband of 22 years discloseds an affair and that’s he’s leaving for younger pastures…my youngest graduated and left for college out of state…my job was eliminated. Two years later son loves and is doing well at college, divorice is almost finalized, and still no job…but you are very positive and optomistic ..wish I could sit down with you and have coffee or a nice glass of wine and some of your optimission might spill my way!
Stay strong. I just have to believe that if we don’t give up, things will be alright. For one thing, we are not alone. Look how many people are posting on this topic on VN! Can you believe it? It’s a sign of the times. I don’t know about you, but I felt maybe I had done something “wrong.” Do you know what I mean? I could have made different choices, but I can’t afford to get into the “wrong” mentality. We all do the best we can, given what we know at the time. Peace and blessings to you.
I was in my mid-50s when my life took a major u-turn – end of marriage, move from one country to another, starting over with few resources. Ten years later I have a new partner, live in a lake-side high rise, still have few material resources but live a rich life. Writing helps me put it all into perspective. You have spunk and beauty, inside and out. Your honesty & your blog are inspirational.
You really landed on your feet, didn’t you? I love it!!! Thanks for your compliment about the blog. Your post really gives me hope.
You must have a beautiful shining inside of you, with all that negative stuff happening one has to be able to turn inward to find the strength to keep going. I believe you do this to find a peace that passes all understanding. I myself didnt care to see a big 60 on a birthday card but amazingly I didnt mind seeing a 70. I guess after retirement I have had time to concentrate on myself and my own needs and I am glad to have some maturity finally. I wish you the best of everything and I know your life will pan out ok to meet your needs. God bless you sister.
A peace that passes all understanding. I hear you. Nice to see that you are focusing on your needs. I am doing that more and more. Some days I just rest. What a concept. Most of my life I have been running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I have been trying to pace myself more and slow down. I have always done a lot of volunteer work and community work. But I heard someone say recently that she has stopped trying to “save” the world and is now trying to “savor” the world. That was something I really needed to hear.
First of all Happy Birthday! You have a wonderful outlook. I sense something good will happen for you. People with positive attitudes always succeed in one way or another. Usually those people are also the most happy individuals in my experience. I think you should reflect on your accomplishments and the positives in your life and things will work out. Perhaps some meditation will also help you stay positive. May God Bless you in your continuing life’s journey!
Are you a psychic? LOL! I just signed up a couple of days ago for a meditation retreat this weekend. All good things to you, my friend.
A little update: The money is still low and the bills are high and so what? I am finding out what is really important to me. I am re-setting my priorities, making time for rest, eating healthy food and staring at the stars. I’m praying, asking God for direction and peace. I’m smiling more and sleeping more. I’m calling friends and telling people what I love about them. I’m listening to the sounds of children playing outside my window. Instead of turning away, I look into the eyes of the men panhandling outside the 7-11. I give a little money when I’m able. My BlackBerry crashed, which I interpret as the Universe telling me I don’t need to check my email every time I hear a beep. I close my eyes when the choir sings and really let the words sink in. I set my alarm to go off just before sunrise so I can hear the birds. I’m noticing the different types of plants and flowers. I wear jeans with my fancy pearl earrings and don’t worry about what anyone thinks. I cry myself to sleep. I laugh myself silly. Life goes on. Life is good. Live your life.
Eleanor, You make me happier that I am alive, thanks!…TRACK
)
P.S. The birds wake me every morning in the spring, summer and early fall
How are you, Track? Always good to see you on VN! Take care.
I love what you have to say….through sharing your trial, and tribulations, …your ups and your downs, you are helping us all out here going through similar things….even if we aren’t, your spirit is still positive and uplifting as you find your way….May God bless you on your journey…=]
Hi Eleanor, you are doing so very much to keep a positive outlook only positive things will come from it even if they are small things. I even approve of crying yourself to sleep, why not? It gets rid of a lot of heaviness you are carrying that day and you are able to offset it with being able to laugh yourself silly. You are helping many people with your story Im sure. I will keep an eye on your daily walk ,God bless you.
Hey, it’s not about what happens to us, (though we can’t discount the impact) but how we react to what happens to us.
There is a certain freedom that comes with starting over. You have the advantage of experience, and, lucky you, the great attitude to boot!
All the best to you.
Yes, I can relate to much of that, but not all, and not right now. The thing that I relate to right now is that I too have an optomistic feeling about the future, and I thank God for that. I have found that being and living happy, helps me to see better solutions and make the best decisions. I’m more committed about my choices, and less willing to give up on gifts like peace, joy, and love. I have to use these gifts, to get the full experience that was intended when they were given to me. There was a time, when I only saw peace in other people, etc. But now, I know that I have peace, and I am willing to fight to keep it – if I have to kill them with laughter and love, I will not let these gifts go.
All the best to you and I hope that your path is filled with blessings.
You have a beautiful smile and also a wonderful outlook on life, I know this stage of your life is going to be great, may you continue to smile, look at the sunrise and listen to the birds, it is so good to be able to do these things, God bless and I wlii keep you in my prayers.
Congratulations to YOU! Those things that were no longer serving your Highest Good have been released so that you may move forward along your Destiny Path with grace and ease. Give thanks!
Sometimes things can appear to be a bit scary, especially when we are of “a certain age” yet the Universe knows YOU and what you are born to be and do and the first of these is to Be Love. You are that, Love!
On the marriage part, my Great Grand Mother on my mom’s side married three times. She outlived her first husband and remarried at the age of 80. She outlived him and married again at the age of 85 to a younger man who was 79. She lived to be 92 when she died in her sleep. An awesome woman indeed., so there is still hope for marriage, at any age.
I embrace you and the beauty of your soul. (((((Hugs)))))
Now you can create, write your book, make a CD, paint, draw, do whatever your heart desires and know that you are blessed beyond measure.