I became homeless after a very expensive neck operation, fusion of vertabra’s. I’m living at a homeless shelter now, and I can’t begin to tell you how awful it is. Most woman here are young, abused, or have been on drugs. I am a 68 white female, and I feel like I’m living in another country. Why aren’t there Homeless Shelters for older women? People we/I could relate to.
Thank you in advance.
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I got before and after pics copied and pasted in the reply box and tried to post, but the only things that shows up is the text I typed, not the photos.
Thanks May & Janice for all your helpful comments. I really appreciate them.
May - for the longest time, I said to myself that I will never want any plastic surgery done and that I will accept my body for what it is. Like many typical wome
I am so sorry to hear this. Could you be there to help one of the younger women? Maybe it is the reason. I wish you much luck in changing your circumstances, is it possible to find a live-in situation for an Alzheimer’s patient?
You will receive support and good wishes here, the women are very supportive.
My heart goes out to you, but it is difficult to understand that if you are 68, and lost your home due to medical expenses and health, do you have family? Are you in a town where you lived and made friends?… It would be nice if shelters could be for a certain age, but there is a shortage of homes for the homeless,You also mention you were white it makes me think you are in a shelter with people of color…There may be the greatest lesson for you …just listen and you will learn, people are people economics make a world of difference …this you are finding out because we live in a capitalistic society that allows about 10% of the people to own most of the wealth…and many have more homes than they can count much less live in.
Nothing happens without a reason I don’t know your position of faith but for me the Creation is Universal and there is a saying” It rains on the just and the unjust” So your housing situation is probably a place that you have to be in the NOW…look around you at the young women who you cannot relate to…this is your chance to relate to them and learn from them, this experience may help you to not only turn your life around but also help others.I moved into a community over 20 years ago I moved back to a community that I had “grown above”, but a driving force, Economic and common sense made me convince my husband to move back and live under our means, I have learned so much of the need of the people around me and how I can help is what I am still working on , but it has made me a more loving and sensitive person when I am with as you say “people that I USE to could not relate to….Now I can and they protect our home and watch out for us…..so take this time to get to know and HELP SOMEONE….what YOU GIVE WILL COME BACK By the way there are people living under bridges or even worst some are small children. To live to be 68(the age my mother passed) and not be able to relate You are in there for a lesson…I pray everyday I see an older woman on the street yes there are women 50 and over , I give what I can and say a prayer for except the grace of God that could be any of us. Please don’t be ungrateful where you are look around and see how you can make an improvement…If you have nothing to give them then there are many reasons you need to “relate” and the best way is to LOVE…Look at anyone and see that it could be your child your mother, your sister your neighbor but for sure one of them is you…Please keep blogging and I hope this does not come off hard , I do understand it is not a good feeling to be with “people you can’t relate to” But this is life and we have to make the best of what we have …so when you come out and can do better this would be a great challenge for you to share and help others. Life is a journey …you will be in ,my thoughts positive ones to see you through so that you can come out doing your purpose.
read my commnet below, maybe this will give more understanding.
Rose, You are living with people just like yourself, HOMELESS. If you don’t understand that , you missed your first lesson…TRACK
P.S. Romans 12:3…TRACK
less of an “OUCH”….
OUCH!
please read my commnet below for more understanding.
I guess I need to rewrite my post. What I can’t relate to are the ones who keep coming back to homeless shelters. It’s not as if I’m not paying for my room and board. I am. But there are young woman who keep having babies, and keep coming to the shelter. This I cannot relate to. I do relate to young woman and if anything have passed my wisdom along to them, the ones who listen.
Morning, Many of these young women and living what they know and was taught. So many believe the world owns them something. Many did not have responsible parents that ry to live like a family. When you see from early age a check coming in and no one has to get up, dress, eat breatfast and then out the door to catch the 7:15 am train, bus or take the car, then this is normal for you. Young man are not taught to step up and take responsibility, We raise them. These young folks are our children or grands. It’s more than sad. There are skills in all of them not touched nor discovered….Teach what you can while there…TRACK
read my commnet below, maybe this will help. Thank you.
Rose, I was struck by your story. I read your profile on here, saw you are an author, so I did an internet search on your name and was taken aback by the number of “hits”. You have quite an internet presence from blogs, youtube, etc.
Its disappointing that with all your social networking skills, more assistance hasn’t already come your way.
I’m sorry that the Homeless Shelter you are in doesnt feel “right” to you. When living on welfare and through assistance programs, what is available may not be comfortable but it is hopefully safe and warm. The fact that you can’t relate tothe women there more may feel isolating, but some of your blogs I read seemed to indicate that you found companionship and shared experiences with them.
Good luck to you. I hope you very visible approach to finding alternatives yields you success.
Thank you for your respose, but with all the social networking and Internet knowledge, it doesn’t get you anything when you need to pay the rent. I’m in the Shelter for the long haul until Low Cost Housing calls. I’m on a years waiting list. This is why I was so taken with Homelessness. Most people are no aware how many folks are struggeling and about to lose their homes. Please read my comment below. I hope this helps.
after a very expensive neck operation, fusion of vertabra’s.
Please explain to me why the above made u be homeless. Medical expenses? Disabled? All of the above? This is a cruel reality now a days. It has always been for those that never had much, but now even the people that once had a profession, lost their job, are older, and cannot find employment this will happen. I have a dear friend that tells me i must have at least 8-10 months of expenses in the bank to pay my bills just in case that happens to me, and then what? She says that is what Suzie Osmond says. Ok, then what? I saw a woman in Stamford, CT, white, about fiftyish looking in the garbage can in front of McDonalds. At that time that City was one of the wealthiest in the country. Lots of jobs and prosperous by all accounts. We even bussed people from the Bronx to work at McDonalds, BK and others. It was such a shock to me that i had to do a double take. I wanted to offer her a decent lunch even if it was at McDonald’s but was too embarrassed to approach her. How would she take such an approach, etc. My mom would not be embarrassedbut she had died by then. The homeless at that time were mostly people with an addiction, never a white woman who everyday would wash herself in the McDonalds bathroom and try to put on some makeup. That is when it hit me. This can happen to anybody, including me. My dear, what can i say? At 68 you must be on some kind of retirement, social security? Then there are low income apartments or studios for older individuals but you have to put your name on a waiting list. They have those in Pembroke Pines, according to my neighbor who goes to the “community Center”. The rent is based on your income. I do not know if you can offer your services at the shelter to teach those women something of value and get paid for it or at least for your rent to be paid in lieu of. I guess u did not have children? But then again, sometimes we do not even tell our children our demise?
The girls that keep having babies and come back to the shelter usually do not know any other life. It is a vicious circle. Some of them are salvageable. I cannot understand it either, but if we were to know it all, then life would be too boring. Get your name on as many waiting lists as possible, take action, don’t lose hope.
This is good Lyn, thanks…TRACK…WE NEVER KNOW…
OK – first everyone get off the fact that it’s amazing that a “white” woman could become homeless. Just because you’re white doesn’t make it any less sad. I am a college-educated black woman who has NEVER experienced jail, drugs, etc and being homeless is one of my GREATEST FEARS!!! Most of us are just a paycheck or serious illness away from what Rose is experiencing. I have family, but I’m sure just like most families, there are some that don’t want to be bothered if it means putting themselves out for another family member. Therefore, they are left with no choice but to go to the shelters or even the streets. Because I am sooooo aware of how easily that could become me – I make it my business to give dollar bills to any homeless person I see. If they choose to use it for drugs or alcohol, that is up to them, but I have found that for the most part, they use it for food. I have also fed them by taking them into McDonalds and buying them the meal of their choice – because after all – that could be me someday and I would want somebody to help me. I always try to do it with the utmost respect and consideration because that is how I would want someone to treat me. It’s really sad these days that the elderly are affected in this manner. I’m understanding Rose when she laments about why there isn’t a facility for the elderly homeless. There are different needs and mindsets that the elderly have that younger people do not. Social Security barely pays for breathing – much less life – that is one of the reasons why people try to get a pension plan going. But then you have the greedy bastards who suck the pensions away from people because it thrills the heck out of them!!! It is up to us – citizens – to help out as much as we can and in any manner as we can – especially the elderly.
first and foremost the white woman issue was not the issue. My point was that it was A WOMAN period. We always saw “homeless” men that had addictions. And they were not even homeless, they had a room somewhere but would be drunk around town, etc. In a small town we always knew them as ”bums”. So when i saw this woman, she happened to be white, but the point i was trying to make is that it was a woman. And secondly, i am NOT a white woman, i am Puertorrican so this is not an issue.
Social security pays according to what you have earned during your working years, and i think the last 5 years of employment are very important, i am told but i have never verified it. I get a record in the mail of my earnings and so far i will be doing ok, as long as i do not have a mortgage. Rose has an education and has even published some books. She is homeless because of illness, exactly my point about healthcare in this country. Pensions were taken off at least mine were, and replaced with 401K’s, if you do not contribute you are doomed as well and with this economy i think i have lost about $30K easily. I think the only ones that still get pensions are government workers. Fire, police, teachers, etc. Anyway trust she finds help soon.
I do have to rewrite this post. Yes, to social security. 600 a month, and yes to low income housing. The waiting list is over a year here in Florida. This is why Homeless Shelter. This is an experience I will never forget. A learning experience for sure. For me and for others who want it. Don’t get me wrong i’ve met some wonderful woman, models, nurses, teachers, etc. I’m beginning to wonder if this is Florida?
sometimes people move, die, etc and the list shrinks. If you could go in person and talk to a social worker, etc that is a good thing. That is what happened to my neighbor’s friend at the community center where they both attend. She was living with a family that lost the house, so she had to move and was desperate. Her situation was urgent and they found her something. Apply in adjacent cities, not just one. The more affluent the city the better for u. I have no idea where Geneva, FL is, but apply in all surrounding areas. May the Lord be with you. Get up everyday with a purpose. Don’t give up.
please read my comment below for some answers to your questions. It’s not that hard to be homeless today. Family leaves, or doesn’t want the headache, unable to pay rent, and YES, medical bills can make one homeless.
Folks I’m sorry this post is causing problems in others. Anyone can wind up homeless, even the guy down the block with the Gucci shoes, maybe this is what I was trying to say. Follow is a piece I wrote on my first weeks at the Shelter. Maybe this will soften my question. I hope so.
Country club to Shelter living
Homeless Shelter, scary words for me.
I came to the Women’s Shelter a little over four weeks ago. I came not wanting to, but had no other choice. After neck surgery, I put $10,000 on credit cards, paying doctors and hospital bills. I knew the $600 a month I got from Social Security would not allow me to pay bills, pay rent, and eat. I pictured myself in a card board box, living on the streets. After weeks of phone calls, and Internet searching, I found WRCC. With life turned upside down, I signed into the shelter, Scared.
Awful, is a mild word for the way I felt the first week. I blended into the walls, and didn‘t exist. Letting myself down, my individuality and pride were gone. I became a body in a herd of other women. Depressed, I cried most of the time, not in the open where others could see, but in the bathroom, or in the corner I had found on an outside wall. I didn’t recognize the face that looked back at me in the mirror. I saw that same look on other faces: no expression, no smile, lifeless, and dead.
The second week I learned rules, what one was allowed to do, and not allowed to do. I learned that chores had to be done everyday. Everyone had a specific chore, like a family taking care of itself. Some women washed mirrors, some washed windows, others counters or floors, took garbage out, and other jobs. I noticed the women were happier when they had something to do, and worked together.
My chore began working in the kitchen, making 20 to 60 sandwiches a day, bagging them, and stuffing sweets and salt treats inside. Chef Dee, and Mary helped me, showing me, a slice of meat, a slice of cheese between two slices of bread. I’d choose a variety of breads: white, whole wheat, rye and multi grain. Making sure women and children, away or in for the day, had something to eat. Me included.
Unable to walk outside in the public world, due to the hard neck brace I wore. I found writing and working in the kitchen my outlet. Sometimes standing in the kitchen for an hour or two made my neck go into spasm, and I’d need to lay down afterward. I’d fall asleep with a good feeling, knowing I had given of myself. Even if it were just making sandwiches.
Soon, I found I had worth. I stopped complaining. Instead I said my prayers every night, sometimes all night when I couldn’t sleep, and also in the morning before breakfast. I became a stronger person, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It got me through the down times. I was learning God wanted me to go through this time in my life, to become a better human being. Only through bad, hard times, does the good follow. In the process we learn what we are really made of. We learn of our Selves. I learned another side. The side that didn’t belong to country clubs, The side that didn’t play golf, or tennis, have lunch out four or five times a week. I got close to my inner being, and became proud, and growing, even though I was now homeless.
At first I blamed myself. How did I get in this mess? Why didn’t I save money to pay bills? Why didn’t I? Why didn’t I? Why didn’t I? Now it was about growth. How I could grow in a different environment. An environment I’d never seen, or came close to. My only regret is my country club friends have deserted me. They do not call, and I no longer call them. Embarrassed to tell them, I’ve fallen by the wayside. They are the people who donate to shelter’s like this, whether it be in churches or women’s groups. But do they really know what it’s like to live in a shelter? I doubt it.
I’m glad for this experience, this adventure. I’ve met wonderful, interesting women from different countries, and I’m thankful for the knowledge they’ve shared with me. Each woman is different, yet the same. We cry, we laugh, we pray. Sometimes alone, sometimes with another. We want our own place, or pay rent, or pay a mortgage, have a car to go to work, or school, or not. We are ONE, no different in important areas, like compassion, and helping another. Thank God my eyes have been opened.
Rose Lamatt
copyright 2010
Your original post is beautiful! The beginning of this one was not, it made you sound as if you were to “good” to be among the other homeless women. So I got you wrong by the way you had written, in New York we say “My bad”. Always start with the facts, I am sure you have helped as much as you were helped. It doesn’t take much to become homeless. Most Americans are two (2) paychecks from the street. On my bio page, I mention I hope I would never be homeless, but no one knows what tomorrow will bring. Thanks for opening my eyes to your plight…TRACK
P.S. We saved, got 401Ks and now we are broke, maybe we should have spent it! :-/
P.S.S. Your country club friends, would you have been acting the same if it was one of them homeless, cause now you know!