Today I am answering a few common questions that come up among women over 50 who are dating.
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Being a woman over 50 heading into the dating world for the first time in a long time, is it ok for a woman to ask a man out for a first date?
Thanks so much! Phyllis
Great question. For the most part at our age, it’s better to let a man do the asking. He will be flattered if you ask him out but it usually fizzles because in reality, men like being the one to choose you.
You can let him know you’re interested by winking or flirting with him online. In person, try and catch his eye then smile for about 5-10 seconds – which by the way can feel like an eternity!
If a man’s interested, he’ll get the hint and think its safe to approach you either online or in person. If he doesn’t, it’s in your best interest to move on because ultimately, you want a man who also wants you.
My date with a guy I met online went well. I wasn’t that keen on him but was willing to try a second date since he seemed nice so we swapped cell numbers. But he suddenly postponed our date the morning we were due to meet citing work problems as his reason for canceling. He never got in touch again. Did I do something wrong?
You mentioned you weren’t that keen on this man but you were willing to give him a second chance. Men do seem to have this sixth sense about what we’re feeling about them. There is a good chance he picked up on your hesitation and talked himself out of the date fearing rejection by yet another woman.
If you like a man and want to go out with him again, be sure to let him know how much you appreciate him arranging the date you’ve been on. During the date, encourage him with lots of questions and smiles. Be fun. Be flirty. If he brings up a second date, be enthusiastic and let him know you are looking forward to seeing him again.
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Not sure about this dating rule and am hoping you can answer this question – who should pay for a first date?
The person who does the asking should offer to pay. If you are the one to ask a man out then be prepared to pick up the check. Although more than likely, he will do it. If he asks you, 9 times out of 10, he will pick up the check. My rule of thumb is to let the guy pick it up for the coffee date, the first and the second date.
After that, it’s ok to start offering to pay – whether it’s a dinner out, a dinner you make, or popcorn at the movies. If he can afford it, he will say no, I’ll get it. But if he’s like most men these days, he’s been financially wiped out by his divorce. He will be grateful for your help so the two of you can do more together should the relationship progress.