Women over 50 are having better sex because they themselves are better partners – and/or they are in a better relationship.
It’s no surprise. We have learned a lot from our relationships over the years. We learn from both good and difficult relationships. We learn how to be a better person —and that translates into being a better romantic and sexual partner.
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In countless conversations I hear a variation of the following sentiments:
“I am the best I have ever been.”
“I like myself better than I ever have before.”
“I know how to be treated now.”
“I know how to not sweat the small stuff anymore.”
“I have better boundaries than I used to.”
“I know what is toxic now and I stay away from it.”
“I have better judgment now.”
“I am sexually more open and able to enjoy sex more than I ever did before.”
When surveyed regarding their sexual lives, members of the Vibrant Nation community echoed these feelings;
“I take more responsibility for my satisfaction now.”
“I know what I like more and do not end when he is done if I am not.”
“When I realized – after plenty of sister and girlfriend talk – that I needed to be responsible for my own gratification, sex became more fun, more intimate and much more satisfying.”
Unless I meet a woman over fifty who is in dire trouble or clinically depressed, I hear all these great sentiments and a great sense of pleasure with life. Surely, that’s worth a few aches and pains and medicines!
I also see a lot of contented long term relationships. It often takes people a great many years to truly become friends. It is very hard to be emotionally naked to each other, to reach true acceptance and to be loved in a way that has nothing to do with how we look, what fame we have or what we can buy. Deeper intimacy and emotional maturity set the stage for a superb sexual life.
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Dr. Pepper Schwartz is the author of the Vibrant Nation Health Guide, A Woman’s Guide to Great Sex After 50: Getting Your Mind, Body and Relationship Ready for Pleasure.
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