Even women who don’t blush at episodes of Sex & the City may have difficulty talking about female masturbation — and even more trouble enjoying it. While male masturbation is the stuff of comedic fodder and a popular subject in romantic comedies, female masturbation barely gets a mention in most pop culture. It’s time to stop looking at female masturbation as taboo, and start looking at it as a way to stay sexually healthy and happy during and after menopause.
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What’s so difficult about female masturbation?
Female masturbation isn’t a widely-discussed topic, even among sexual therapists and physicians. For many, female masturbation may feel taboo or otherwise undesirable. What’s so difficult about this natural expression of self-love?
- Self-esteem. Female masturbation is directly linked to self-esteem. When women engage in sexual activity, it’s out of love, desire or some combination of the two. For women who don’t find themselves lovable and desirable, it’s only natural that they should have difficulty enjoying or engaging in female masturbation.
- Habit. Studies show that young women aren’t taught to pleasure themselves. In one survey of 800 children in the U.S. aged 14 to 17, only 48% of the females experimented with masturbation. From an early age, women are not encouraged to gratify or please themselves, and the subject is rarely talked about. With years and years of taboo riding on their backs, older women may find masturbation extremely challenging. For men, masturbation is considered normal. For women, it’s considered unladylike.
- Hygiene. The vagina is a dark, shadowy, secretive place. Some women may even think of it as being dirty, and there are tons of products and commercials that tout cleanliness as if the vagina is inherently filthy. Many women very simply don’t want to put their fingers inside themselves to enjoy female masturbation, though they have no qualms when their partners do it.
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Female masturbation aids
Self-pleasuring is a healthy expression of sexuality, and for some women it’s a survival tactic. As we age and our bodies change, female dryness becomes more common. Self-arousal is a good way to prepare for sexual relations with a partner. Female masturbation can serve as a perfectly normal substitute when a partner isn’t available. With age, the vagina goes through changes that could lead to thinning walls and muscle shrinkage. Lack of sexual activity may even lead to atrophy, and the vagina could close up entirely.
There are lots of different ways to enjoy self pleasure. Vibrators for women and sex toys can serve as masturbation aids. A little erotic fiction, a warm bath and a waterproof vibrator can go a long way toward keeping a woman’s sexual organs healthy. You don’t even have to make an embarrassing purchase to stay sexually active; many household objects can substitute as vibrators for women.
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I can sure relate to these conversations. I got divorced when my kids were small and met friends through my kids daycare and we have kept in touch over the years. They are good friends but I don't get to see them as much as I'd like to. This past mon
Very beautiful. I meditate when I get home from work. I get up at 5:30 and just can't get motivated to get up any earlier. When I wake up in the middle of the night, I immediately go to prayer. It's comforting. Teresa
No one ever had to teach me how to pleasure myself, nor did I ever think it was a taboo subject.
P.S. Just like when I heard women fake orgasm; it never would have occurred to me to do that. I have never…not…..had an orgasm.