The physical challenges associated with aging are real, but keep in mind that they are not universal. Also, we should also consider the advantages of being post fifty—and they are awesome.
The sexually more flexible you
An unexpected thing happens to many women in mid life: they readjust their feelings about who turns them on sexually, what turns them on sexually and who they turn onto. It takes some women a long time to lose their inhibitions and be open to experimentation. By mid-life, and beyond, women are much more likely to listen to their hearts and their bodies, rather than “the rules.”
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One of those interesting flexibilities occurs in terms of gender choices. While the majority of women stay solidly heterosexual or homosexual all of their adult lives, a substantial number of women leave themselves open to love and attraction in whatever person reaches their heart and mind. Many women find themselves being “late life Lesbians,” never having imagined that they could have been attracted to women before. Of course this can happen any time in the life cycle: a famous lesbian custody case in Washington state (Schuster/Issacson) in the 1970s concerned two angry fathers trying to get sole custody of their children after their wives met in their children’s kindergarten class, fell in love and left their husbands. Both of these women testified that they were completely surprised: they had never even had a homosexual fantasy- but they fell in love with each other and they wanted to be life partners (marriage wasn’t even a conceptual option at that time!)
Today, with the publicity that gay marriage has received, and with a more accepting and supportive culture, more women (and some very famous ones such as Ellen DeGeneres) can imagine a loving and passionate commitment with another woman. Likewise, some women who have started out as homosexual, claim a sexual identity that is beyond categories and all about the power of loving. Some women feel their sexual spark is ignited by the person and not the gender. Not all women over 50 have been part of the sexual revolution in their youth—but now, in mid life, women feel strong enough to consider all options.
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Dr. Pepper Schwartz is the author of the Vibrant Nation Health Guide, A Woman’s Guide to Great Sex After 50: Getting Your Mind, Body and Relationship Ready for Pleasure.
You need a plan. The book The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans saved my life after 31 years of verbal and physical abuse. Knowledge is power. You can call the domestic violence hotline; a woman's shelter; get into counseling. 1 i
You're welcome, Linda. I agree with you. I do read novels with younger characters, but I get a little tired of the immaturity sometimes, and the issues that don't need to be issues. A mature adult is so much more interesting. And, I enjoy Elizabeth B
To all those Vibrant Women who have, like me, left abusive relationships - whether verbal, emotional, psychological, spiritual, physical, financial, social...or all of the above! - I say congratulations to us!
When I read this post, I think to mys
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