I’ve read a some comments here and elsewhere about painful sex after menopause. The most common solution to this is just get a tube of personal lubricant…
What? Ladies, we have painful sex because we have vaginal atrophy–thiinning, drying, shrinking.
So, if you went to the doctor and said, “Hey, doc, my arm has shrunk and it hurts if I use it.” And he said, “Well, it’s just a part of aging for a woman. Just put a brace on it when you want to use so it won’t hurt so much.”
You would be aghast, right? And you would want to do something so other body parts wouldn’t possibly start shrinking, right?
I think painful sex is an indcation that the body is deterioratin in other ways also and is a condition that needs to be treated with bioidentical hormones not just glossed over (sorry about the wording).
Kudo's to you Alicia! Wow you've accomplished quite a lot in your life and you will with dating too at some point. Hang in there! Hugs back! Lisa
tried this (as well as the Garnier tinted moisture) in vacation last week ... Liked the Garnier better, but this provides more coverage and does indeed stay on through everything ... not heavy or greasy ... covers my rosacea. Not sure it will be my e
My parents divorced when I was ten and I always felt like my lack of self esteem most have something to do with my Dad's absence but then one day when I was in my firths my mother said or did something that made me realize she was emotionally abusive
Holy crap! What a sad story. Congrats on overcoming that hurdle. Wow.
How I would handle it. FIrst, I would get into therapy; that could go a long way to helping you and your difficulties.
Second (boundaries are necessary in life)..when your kids call for advice, I would FIRST ask them what their thoughts are an
This is obviously a big issue for you, and I’m truly sorry the change has been so tough for you. I think if you’re happy on bioidentical hormones and they make you feel better, that’s great! I hope you’re taking them under the guidance of a medical professional!
Lube can be a first step anyway…..I am 60 and it has never been painful for me….l
Of course there’s more than ”just use lube” for vaginal pain. I recommend A Woman’s Touch for helpful information about this — read especially their Vaginal Renewal brochure. The owners of A Woman’s touch are two of the experts who have provided advice for my new book, Naked at Our Age. It won’t be out until spring 2011, but most of their information is on their site and will get you started resolving this painful problem.
- Joan
Very good and practical advice and site. It is good that this site is not selling anything, but genuinely wants to help women as they age. Thanks for your continuing efforts to try and educate us in these’uncomfortable’ areas.
No pun intended.
A Woman’s Touch does sell vibrators, lubricants, etc. — all high quality and at good prices — and I hope women who benefit from their educational content will support them. (The owners have to put food on the table, and AWT is their fulltime job.) The education component is comprehensive and free, as you noted. The owners have contributed superb information to my new book, too. They’re amazing people who really care about women and their sexual health. When Better Than I Ever Expected came out, they hosted my workshops in both Madison and Milwaukee, and we’re talking about how to do that again when Naked at Our Age comes out.
- Joan
Here’s the Vaginal Renewal program as a printable brochure in pdf format: http://www.a-womans-touch.com/documents/VaginalRenewal10_withTM.pdf
- Joan
See also my new blog post: http://www.vibrantnation.com/our-blog-circle/better-than-i-ever-expected-sex-and-aging/satisfying-senior-sex-for-women–too-/.
I had this problem almost immediately after menopause. For awhile I avoided vaginal sex with my spouse — although we found satisfaction through alternate means, it was not good for our relationship. I later learned some non-medical techniques that help so we have resumed vaginal sex. (1) lubricant: not all are created equal. I tried several but settled on Astroglide which was recommended by my GYN provider (2) Kegel exercises (3) different positions — missionary seems the worst for discomfort, rear entry the best. BTW: lubricant needs to be for BOTH partners. Have also used an rx pestilary (sp?) called Vagifem — a hormone but according to medical provider it stays local in the vaginal tissue vs. systemic where you get the risks involved with HRT. More FREQUENT sex seems to also help — better circulation? I think there is some research that vaginal dryness may also be the result of low vitamin D, however I take supplements on the advice of my dermatologist and not sure it has really made any difference.
THe thinning tissues are an issue and there is not much we can do about that. I have tried several lubricants but use Walgreen’s A&D ointment around the vaginal area and do it daily. That has helped me tremendously.
I have started using Inner Intimates http://www.innerintimates.com/ Vaginal Renewal complex about a month ago, and wow I’m back! Not only did this product get rid of the dryness, for which I originally got it, my re-kindled sex life is a big bonus!
I checked out the website and it sounds interesting, but way too expensive. A hundred dollars a month is way beyond reasonable.
My doctor told me there was a ‘useagel’ component to vaginal comfort. He advised me to use two fingers to stretch my tissues gently everyday; then graduate to three fingers. He was very precise about the movement of the fingers all around the opening to provide stretching to every area. It worked! Hormones may be not a good choice for everyone…
sorry, I meant to type ‘useage’