Today’s Featured Comment
All hail online dating!
Having been burned more than once (two marriages, two long-term unmarried live-ins, in ALL of which I was repeatedly cheated on) I was still unwilling to conclude that “failure of an instance necessarily implies failure of the institution” and on that basis become a bitter, single old woman. Meeting men in bars was no longer an option because by my second divorce I was also solidly into recovery from alcoholism; I am now gratefully sober for 17 years.
Thanks to online dating (then in its infancy) I spent 2 years having as many interesting dates as I could possibly manage, usually 2-4 per week. Not that they were all GOOD dates, but definitely interesting
I ended up with a man 15 years younger — an age gap I never expected! — but who otherwise filled ALL my aspirational check-boxes plus several more I “hadn’t thought to think of.” We have now been together for going on 13 years, married for almost 11.
I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO REGRETS.
My advice, if anyone wants it:
1) THROW THE NET WIDE. You never know when someone unexpected but wonderful may swim in.
2) AGE IS JUST A NUMBER. Shared values, shared life goals and lifestyles, shared and/or compatible work and play habits, are all far more important.
3) EMBRACE THE TRANSITORY. Some of those one-date-onlies can be valuable learning experiences in what NOT to do.
4) ROLL WITH THE PUNCHES. One bad date — or five bad dates — or even ten bad dates in a row — are no reason to give up. The world is full of a-holes, and as we all know, a lot of them are male! Instead, refine your message. If that’s what you keep attracting, you’re presenting yourself wrong. By all means be honest, but don’t spill all your relationship horror stories on the first date — or, even worse, in your online profile.
Wishing all the best of luck with it to all of you who care to try it — Spike
[This comment was originally posted in this conversation. ~ Eds.]
Have you tried online dating? What’s your advice?