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Can you really find true love from an online connection? What have your experiences been with dating websites? How do you know if you can trust someone from one of these sites?
Posted in love & sex, tech.
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Kudo's to you Alicia! Wow you've accomplished quite a lot in your life and you will with dating too at some point. Hang in there! Hugs back! Lisa
tried this (as well as the Garnier tinted moisture) in vacation last week ... Liked the Garnier better, but this provides more coverage and does indeed stay on through everything ... not heavy or greasy ... covers my rosacea. Not sure it will be my eMy parents divorced when I was ten and I always felt like my lack of self esteem most have something to do with my Dad's absence but then one day when I was in my firths my mother said or did something that made me realize she was emotionally abusive
Holy crap! What a sad story. Congrats on overcoming that hurdle. Wow.
How I would handle it. FIrst, I would get into therapy; that could go a long way to helping you and your difficulties.
Second (boundaries are necessary in life)..when your kids call for advice, I would FIRST ask them what their thoughts are an
In October of 2004 I filed for divorce from my first husband. It had been a very long, painful, sad 31 year marriage of growing apart and not together. But enough of that except that I was “NEVER GOING TO TRUST ANOTHER MAN”.
On Christmas day of 2004 I tripped on a small step in my house, one I had maneuvered 100’s of times while living there without a problem. I fell, face down on the halls ceramic tile floor. Yes! You guessed it I broke my nose, split my lip and burses everywhere. I had to call my sister away from her families Christmas dinner to run me to the hospital.
Two days later I was in a yahoo chat room dodging come-ons from guys. I had been on the internet long enough to know that a lot of men are perv’s. LOL and I knew how to chase them off and iggy them. But until they started miss behaving it was fun to have someone to talk to. So I was in the chat, listening to country western music (in the room) and chatting with people I had come to know a bit. Feeling sorry for myself because I looked like death warmed over…
One Guy IM’d me personally and we started talking. Hours later he hadn’t asked my bra size, hadn’t made any crude remarks and he hadn’t asked for photos of me nude. We ended up chatting until 10 or 11 that night. I was thinking that I could get use to this guy as a friend when we stopped for the night. But as I fell asleep I said to myself, YOU CANT TRUST ANY OF THEM and so I planned on waiting until he IM’d me first IF we came across each other again.
After I got done with daily chores the next day I got on the computer. Almost immediately I got a message from him. He had worried I wasn’t going to be on and he didn’t want to miss me. So we talked again for hours. But this time he did ask me one of my ‘black list’ questions. He asked if I had a web cam. My son & daughter in law had gotten me one for Christmas because they would soon be moving out of state and wanted me to be able to have ‘eye to eye’ contact with my grandbabies. But I told him “NO I don’t have one”. To my surprise he still kept talking with me and still no leading rude questions or comments.
After several days talking with him I decided to tell him I did have a web cam and then explain my rules for using it. He said he was fine with my rules because he wasn’t interested in anything that weird. But then I had to let him know one other thing…… I had to warn him that I looked like death warmed over and why and that that was a small part of me telling him I didn’t have a web cam. At the point he saw me it was a week after it happened and so I looked only like death… leave off the warmed over. My lip was no longer hanging down to my chin, some of the swelling of my eyes had gone away and a few of the bruises were fading.
I don’t remember how long after this I realized that I didn’t even know his last name. Well longer story short we talked on line and the phone every day we sent each other snail mail cards and letters. I was still very leery of the whole situation and so there were things I wouldn’t tell him about myself, and there were things I kept mental note on about him so I would know if what he was telling me was the truth or not. A liar has a hard time keeping stories straight the longer they talk. I was finding that we had more and more in common and was leery of that so I made a point of not telling him what I liked or didn’t like until he had told me things like that about him. I didn’t want him to say he liked something just to get to me. I was a hard sell for the first part. I also had a friend whose husband was a cop and had his checked out as much as we could. He came up clean and telling the truth. YES I did let him know I was checking, because I thought if he had anything he didn’t want me to know he would duck out and I would never hear from him again.
Well one day out of the blue he called me on the phone… said he didn’t know if I would understand how he could already feel this way, and that he didn’t know how I felt but he said he was falling in love with me. I’m not sure if he could hear my breath go out of my body over the phone, but it did. What do I say now? What if it is just a line? I had known for a while that I was falling in love with him, but I wasn’t about to tell him that, I wasn’t sure I was ready to admit it to myself. But at the moment my breath came back into my body I heard myself say… “I love you to and I did understand”. I don’t remember how long after that it was before he asked me to marry him, but he did.
In February of 2005 he flew me to Las Vegas so we could meet for the first time face to face. I spent a very nice long weekend getting to know him and his sister & her husband. I also met his older brother & his wife at the same time. The plane trip back to Phoenix was the worst I have ever been on. I silently cried inside because a part of me still believed that he had just been being nice to me for the weekend and that I would never hear from him again after I got home.
But that wasn’t the case… another long story made shorter… In March of 2005 he flew to Phoenix so he could be there the day my divorce was final. The next day he & my sons loaded a U-Haul up with all my things and he moved me to Las Vegas. On June 25th of 2005 we were married in a real church in Las Vegas, miles away from the bright lights. In the moment I said “I do” He made me His wife, a mother of 9 kids…4 mine 5 his, a grandmother and a great grandmother. I have happily taken on the task of each of those titles
http://www.vibrantnation.com/live-it-lists/2009/11/20/6-rules-for-online-dating/
I provided my background/experience in this in a previous post. Hope it helps.
Yes I have been with someone for 6 years after meeting on E-Harmony…..we have been together or spoken on the phone every day since then….you simply don’t know if you can trust them, that is why you meet in a public place for coffee first…..and then trust your discerning skills…I had a few dates that just didn’t work out, and that is simply part of the process…..I would not use places like Match.com….some of those guys have been on there for years……
Few questions: I have never been on any dating sites. I see where Sunblossom isn’t crazy about Match. Any sites besides E-harmony recommended. Also, any tips on chatting “lines” that should be a trigger something isn’t quite right…or “Black List” questions?
Thanks.
Hi Gina…I think it might be a good idea to start a new thread about this…you’ll probably get a ton of responses…..
Hi Sunblossom,
I too, online dated for a few years before I met my Soulmate. He is the love of my life. We met on Match.com in 2005 were married in 2007. We are so much alike and have so much in common. We even share the same zodiac sign! : )
In the few years before I met Mr. Right, I kissed a lot of Frogs before finding my Prince Charming! But, I can honestly say that all the guys that I met, was never a bad thing. I met a lot of really great guys. Never, did I have a bad experience.
If you are a person like me, that doesn’t go out to bars or out very much at all, then I would suggest online dating. In doing so, you really do get to know a person from the inside out before you actually meet them. When you do meet them, it’s like you have known them forever!
So, good luck to you, if I can be of help, let me know!
Peace & Blessings,
~ The Card Lady
I chat online with a man on those places for couples but he had a very bad temper and he want to marry sooner or later. I deceided not to marry again, and he wants a bussiness women, it was not about me. Then he married a laos girl, a beautiful women, he is my friend until now, he is a good and handsome engeener, but now married and I am happy for him. If I marry again it has to be in person, intercultural marriage at this time of my life scared me. I admire you, because you are not alone, I am so lonely sometimes, CONGRATULATIONS.
Hi Debrah. Please see my response to another post under Love & Sex. Yes, it CAN happen. But you have to be open AND cautious. Why should we be so naive to believe that “the one” is located in our little microcosm of a neighborhood in such an enormous world? The internet has given us options far beyond our local communities to find that one person you connect with on a deeper level.
I wish you the happiness you deserve.