This has been an issue practically our entire time together. My spouse does not “speak” the language of physical affection. (I realize I am lucky to have a husband, that he has been faithful, that we still have a sex life). Why is it that the thing I need most is the thing he cannot or will not give?
In the past 3 years, outside of sex, he has initiated touching me 3 times–once was a pat on the head, and twice rested his arm on my shoulder for photos. We have gone round and round on this for years. Earlier in our marriage, he would say he would try harder, which only lasted a short while. He also told me about a TV show that mentioned women need touching because it produces oxytocin–which in retrospect seems odd that he made it a point to tell me that.
Now, to get some touching in and because I love his touch and his kiss I would go to him at night to get a good night kiss. After a recent 6 weeks of a nasty U.R.I. there understandably has been no goodnight kiss. Now I know it will be up to me (again) to resume “asking” for a goodnight kiss. Trouble is, I don’t know if I want to.
I’m very mad and also very sad–have been in tears several times this week when alone, when I think of this. Help me to think out of the box on this one, ’cause I cannot see the forest for the trees. Thanks in advance.