I chuckle to myself a little whenever I see headlines like, “Sex after 50!”, “Great Sex in your 60s and Beyond!”, “Seniors Can Have Sex Well Into Their 80s!”
This is good news for a lot of folks, no doubt. But there have to be some women out there like me who are not obsessing about this stuff. Show yourselves, please. When it comes to romance, I am constantly amazed that I can feel as fluttery now as I did when I was in my 20s and that the heartbreak can be just as devastating. I don’t know why I thought I would handle those things differently when I got older.
In any case, I enjoy physical intimacy as much as the next 50+ gal, but I am so not interested in sweating up the sheets all night long, twisting my mildly arthritic body into a pretzel to please some guy, or learning new positions and techniques. The old ones are just fine, thanks. They’ve served me well and no one has complained.
I’m kinda at the point where I could care less about the frequency of physical relations. Quantity is not at all important (quality is always important, however!); when it happens, it’s great; when it doesn’t happen, it’s great too because I value good sleep over great sex any day of the week and twice on Sundays.
Who’s with me? ^_^
Kudo's to you Alicia! Wow you've accomplished quite a lot in your life and you will with dating too at some point. Hang in there! Hugs back! Lisa
tried this (as well as the Garnier tinted moisture) in vacation last week ... Liked the Garnier better, but this provides more coverage and does indeed stay on through everything ... not heavy or greasy ... covers my rosacea. Not sure it will be my e
My parents divorced when I was ten and I always felt like my lack of self esteem most have something to do with my Dad's absence but then one day when I was in my firths my mother said or did something that made me realize she was emotionally abusive
Holy crap! What a sad story. Congrats on overcoming that hurdle. Wow.
How I would handle it. FIrst, I would get into therapy; that could go a long way to helping you and your difficulties.
Second (boundaries are necessary in life)..when your kids call for advice, I would FIRST ask them what their thoughts are an
Hi Nine to Five again we have something in common. I too am not against a good roll in the hay but it is not on my priority list. I just ask my husband the other day when he got back from the Dr and a commercial was on for Viagra. He told me the Dr asked him if he wanted some like dipping into a candy jar. Ofcourse my hubby is worried it would cause another side effect. I secretly thought “Thank God” I just find other things important these days Maybe it is cause I still am working 40 plus and also do my husbands books But I really think it has a lot to do with having other interest and I don’t want to do anything different in the sack. And we are closer now then we have ever been is the 30 yrs
Hi Nine to Five i stand with you on this one. My energy goes for more satisfying things like reading a story to children I wrote to promote peace,and sharing and caring for ourselves and each other. I am so happy I am not alone really appreciate what you wrote.
I am with you! Been there, done that. What’s next?
I totally agree with you Nine to Five……after working all day, cleaning house, doing laundry and a hundred other things I would rather sleep, read a book or just play on my computer than have sex…..like the lady said Been there, done that! Although my husband thinks that sex is a requirement to be happily married. I thought I was the only woman like this out there but guess not. So happy I am normal!
I’m smiling (and very pleased!) at all of your responses. I suspected that I wasn’t the only woman my age feeling this way but it sure helps to get validation! I’m just so tired of reading articles about how to have a satisfying sex life in mid-life. I wasn’t exactly a ‘hot tamale’ even when I was younger and now that I’m post-menopause, I still have desire but certainly not as often. And I’m fine with that. I had a “satisfying sex life”; it was great; I’m tired — can we do something else now, please? ^_^
Oh, and by the way, my screen name is Five to Nine, not Nine to Five. ^_^
Looks like I’m a little out of the loop, but nonetheless, feel the same way you do, Five to Nine. Wanted to make sure to get your screen name right. Made me laugh because we’re all conditioned to see something else, only because all the correct words are there, just not in the order we’re used to seeing them. I digress.
Actually, what I meant to say was, I didn’t realize I felt that way until I read your post. Sex has its value, but I’ve never been that good at it and need other excitement, such as meaningful conversation to get a sense that a relationship is viable. So thanks for putting into words what I didn’t know how to say.
Pardon Five to Nine! Again I stand with you all the way on this one. Saying YES……YES…to my favorite parfait from starbucks. It is so satisfying and i do mean how sweet it is! Thanks again Five To Nine!
Smilin’ atcha, Speak72. ^_^
Understand where you are coming from, but also understand some of our husbands don’t feel the same way. A lot of them need us to help them feel virile and young. If we don’t do it, someone else might. So, yeah, I will twist into a pretzel sometimes and try new things. He is willing to do things for me that he doesn’t think he will enjoy, usually we are both pleasantly surprised.
Yet another reason why I am happily divorced. ^_^
In any case, to each his or her own, Chick. Have fun!
We do
He is a pretty good guy.
You are right, Chick…despite their age, most men need to feel virile and young. I recently reconnected with a former high school flame…..he’s been married 30 years to the “Prom Queen.” He calls their sex life, “vanilla” and turned to me for excitement. I happily give it to him.
I’m coming from a different place on this one than some of you saying in different ways “been there, done that.” For me it’s more like “haven’t much been there, haven’t much done that.” Having been unhappily married for a long time and then in a relationship that didn’t work out, I haven’t experienced much quality sex. I also have long experience with UTI’s which sex doesn’t help at all, even taking all the precautions about cleanliness, etc. While I think it would be very nice to have someone in my life and have a reasonable sexual experience (read: not wild, kinky, or lasting till dawn) I can’t have a man in my life unless he doesn’t want sex. If anyone knows of anyone under the age of 70 who doesn’t want it at all, please let me know.
)
I used to feel sad about this, but feeling sad doesn’t serve any real purpose, and there are always those who have worse problems than me. However, Five to Nine, I’d rather have your problem of being impatient with all the fuss being made about great sex for seniors than knowing that a relationship with a good man will never happen to me in this lifetime. I’ve pretty much made my peace with it, though.
Never say never, Crystalli. I’d agree that the pickin’s are mighty slim when we reach what is laughingly called “mid-life”, but it’s not an impossible dream. My nearly 80 year old mother always says that things happen for you when you stop waiting for them…. and I think there’s some merit to that.
In any case, since I’m only interested in sex about 4-5 times a year and you’re interested in more, maybe when we do hook up with the next Mr. Right (or Mr. Right Now), we can compare notes and swap, if need be. *wink*
Well after 8 years of celibacy I’m finding it again and loving it!!!! It’s so sweet. I’ve never experienced what I have these last 3 years. Much more than sex. More time, more foreplay, more afterplay. It’s not all about the guy. Oh yeah….I’m lovin’ it!
Happy for those who are “Over 50 and Loving It” but I’m kinda wondering why they wandered in here.
I’m not advocating celibacy, people. I’m just saying that for some of us sex just ain’t that imporrtant. If it is to you, that’s wonderful. Go forth and have multiple orgasms! No need to feel you have to provide a rebuttal to the topic of this thread.