What a combination, right? Well, ladies. I’m a 52-year professional; divorced, attractive; no children. Just acquired 2 new kittens (this will all connect in a minute). I owe, I owe, and off to work I go. I work, I come home. The kittens are a bundle of energy that I should be expending on a love life. My libido is somewhere in the freezer between the Green Giant green peas and the Ore Ida sweet potato fries (low fat, by the way). I have no desire to grin like a chesire cat on E-harmony or Match.com and do a commercial; but miss the companionship of a man in my life. What does a single woman do, with plenty of married friends, to get re-connected with the world out there? Are there pretty colors? (LOL) Weekends, I’m tired and just want to veg out with the kittens. Now that that’s all tied together, the libido, love life and kittens, any suggestions other than kitty treats, frozen food The Golden Girls reruns?
Signed,
Meooowwww in NJ
Kudo's to you Alicia! Wow you've accomplished quite a lot in your life and you will with dating too at some point. Hang in there! Hugs back! Lisa
tried this (as well as the Garnier tinted moisture) in vacation last week ... Liked the Garnier better, but this provides more coverage and does indeed stay on through everything ... not heavy or greasy ... covers my rosacea. Not sure it will be my e
My parents divorced when I was ten and I always felt like my lack of self esteem most have something to do with my Dad's absence but then one day when I was in my firths my mother said or did something that made me realize she was emotionally abusive
Holy crap! What a sad story. Congrats on overcoming that hurdle. Wow.
How I would handle it. FIrst, I would get into therapy; that could go a long way to helping you and your difficulties.
Second (boundaries are necessary in life)..when your kids call for advice, I would FIRST ask them what their thoughts are an
Good luck in the dating world, things are so different now than they were years ago when we all first met the man whom we thought was Mr. Wrigth and got married. People don’t date anymore, they mate. I am 58, happily divorced from a very abusive preacher. Yep I said it, preacher! I love my single life because as I say all the time I don’t have to clean the commode after nobody but myself. Now don’t get me wrong I am still vibrant and would love the companion of the opposite sex but man it takes some doing now days. These men all want to perform oral sex on you and you on them and I am just not into that. I had someone tell me that I would never find a man because I would not give up any head, meaning putting my mouth in places I feel is beneath me. Well I guess they was right cause the men just don’t stick around after they find out. Even at our age they are still trying to play games, seeing more than one woman at a time or wanting sex as soon as you meet them. Give me a break. I love to dance so I take myself out, I meet the guys and I move on. When it comes to going places and out to eat they don’t want to do that. The men nowdays will go to bed with you quicker than they will offer to buy you something to eat. I don’t look for them to do that because I have a freezer and cabinets full of food but to go to the movies and that kind of stuff I can’t tell you the last time I did that on a date. Most of the men our ages are dead, married, in prision, in other relationships or homosexual. There is truth to the older you get the slimmer the pickings. I am not like a lot of the women who are into the younger guys calling themselves cougars. If we couldn’t deal with them when we were 35 and 40 what makes them think that we can deal with them now.
When it comes to those single networking tools I did it a couple of times and these men were more interested in what you looked like, where do you work, how much money you have, where do you live. Now I am very cute, work a full time job and self employed as well but my priorities do not put your looks above ones morals and values. I want someone who loves God first, is not denying his children, who is willing to be in a single relationship, is employed. They tend to think that because you are a woman looking for a companion on a singles line you are desperate. I kind of agree because it does state that a man who finds, not a woman who finds.
I am independent and don’t think that a man should take care of me, most of the women have scared the men away because of their money digging attitudes so I hear the men that are worth having just stay at home. So maybe we should go knocking on doors and ask are you single and looking for a good woman. Every woman who says she is good does not mean that she is. The men will say that the women are microwave, mall and nail salon women. I don’t need a man to pay for my hair to be done or my nails, I can do that. I just want someone to have fun with. Naturally!
I was seeing a guy who had been a friend for over a a year and a half. We met when I had gone to my company’s christmas dinner. I went to go dancing afterwards. He sat across the table from me and shocked me when he asked me to dance. He is an excellent dancer for a man beyond 70 but then the relationship turned into something more a couple of months ago. He was really good to me financially w/o me having to ask him for anything but then he would come to my house and stay. He would spend the night and stay the whole weekend every weekend. I have a 14 year old daughter and I did not want to sleep with him around her so that meant I had to sleep someplace else besides my own bed. And some weekends I wanted to have my place to myself. He got on my nerves with his smacking when he ate, when I would fix him something to eat he expected me to remove his plate from the table and wash his dishes as well after I had finished washing all the other dishes. We went to a party and he took a leak at the edge of the driveway before we went inside. I had to tell him you need to go straight to the bathroom and wash your hands. He also tried telling me how to raise my daughter when he has a son who is 27 years old still live at home and pays no bills or buy any groceries. I don’t want to be bothered like that. When we would go places I would have to do the driving because of his eye sight. I want to be the woman sitting in the passenger seat. So I don’t call him anymore. A good friendship spoiled. So we have to be specific about what we ask for and perhaps, hopefully it is not too late for us.
Very moving email. Funny, too, especially the part about the ‘smacking his lips while he ate’ part. I think that’s what 70-year old men who are totally oblivious to their surroundings do. But I hear you loud and clear. Dating isn’t what it used to be. In fact, I have NO idea what dating is in this new world. I used to know the rules but they’ve now changed and someone forgot to mail me the instruction booklet. I have to say I’ve put myself on the sidelines. I’ve joined Match; SpeedDating; Yahoo and e-Harmony and just don’t have the energy to filter through. I’m leaving it up to fate; if you meet someone by a fluke, so be it. Once I was on a dating site and met the same man not once, not twice but three times. He used three different aliases; it took me awhile to get the program but after some time, I began to see the similarities. I wasn’t dating them simultaneously; it was over a period of about 6 months. I wasn’t interested in pursuing a long-term situation with this guy but he kept pursuing me. When I’d ignore him, he’d wait a few weeks and start in again. I eventually reported him and he lost his membership priviledges but still…do the games ever stop??? I’m going to now focus on myself, pursuing a higher education and getting better in tuned with menopause, lol.
Many thanks for the email; pls keep in touch.
You know, if you’re happy and content with your life right now and your kittens are filling that void, who’s to judge? I understand it’s nice to have someone, but you sound quite content to me. I think when you’re life is in place and balance, you’re open to relationships. I have a feeling someone will come along shortly.
Thank you for the encouragement. I love this site and all of you guys for reading and posting and communicating; although we’ve never met, I feel like this is a giant sisterhood (of the traveling libidos, ha-ha); we’re all living parallel lives and reaching out and touching one another for support and uplifting. I don’t want for anything, except to have these two Morris the cats neutured as quickly as possible, lol. I do live in gratitude – - have a roof over my head, food in my pantry and only owe the government (student loans) (smile). I think when you least expect it, opportunity knocks. First, I’ll look through the peephole and THEN I’ll open it.
Hope you’re having a good week.
Hey — don’t knock the Golden Girl re-runs!!! No other suggestions except to be grateful and live in the day — something will lend itself to your lifestyle!! Enjoy!!
You’re right. The G.G. give new meaning to “on to bigger and better things.” I am indeed living in gratitude! Thanks for the feedback. Luv you guys!
Never liked the Golden Girls. My libido is in a fiery furnace; problem is, got no one as a partner….but keep on keeping on……been on most of the dating sites, speed dating, ad nauseum…….so far, what I need hasn’t existed: A man of integrity, faith, honest, kind, empathic with a wicked sense of humor….HEY…..I just described myself!! LOL
Will be starting school in a few days after winning a women’s scholarship (because of what I wrote about my life); hoping my book will make me rich and famous….working on that: http://www.soulpoetry.org, Sanctuary of the Soul, endorsed by Elie Wiesel, Wayne Dyer, Nikki Giovanni, Drs. Larry Dossey, Ellen Langer, Alice Miller, et al.
Smiles, Alicia (born standin’ up and talkin’ back)
Preach on, Sistah!!! Thanks for the uplifting. I, too, have been on endless dating sights and have come up empty. And, I will keep keepin’ on. Have to. Crazy me, many moons ago: “perhaps my standards are too high; or maybe I should change up my criteria” — but, I can’t! Shouldn’t. Settling isn’t in my path. But living a good life, a spiritual one; with a sense of humor; integrity and honesty…I’ll be just fine. Much luck with your book. Send me your autograph so I can say: I knew her when she was just starting out..! (smile) Will check out the website. You’re a true breath of fresh air…thanks, again!
Yvonne
Congratulations first of all and may I ask how do you write a book and get it in the face of the people that matter.