It’s been hard to avoid the recent frenzy over the news that Katie Holmes has reunited with her self-proclaimed “first love” Joshua Jackson, her Dawson’s Creek co-star.
Guess what? When you look at the research of Dr. Nancy Kalish, an expert in this field and professor of psychology at California State University, it’s almost a no-brainer. As
I discuss in my new book, The Single Woman’s Guide to Retirement
But, all is not rosy with the research. Adult children sometimes saw the new old love as an interloper, or in it for the money. Some children were doubtful of the parent’s
mental health, and some were concerned with the speed at which these rekindled romances progressed. Reunited couples often married within days, weeks, or months.
Kalish also found that when old loves reconnected, but one of the partners was still married, it often led to affairs, so be careful if you look up an old flame. The Internet has made tracking down that lost love so much easier.
Have you rekindled a romance with a first love? How did it turn out?
I got before and after pics copied and pasted in the reply box and tried to post, but the only things that shows up is the text I typed, not the photos.
Thanks May & Janice for all your helpful comments. I really appreciate them.
May - for the longest time, I said to myself that I will never want any plastic surgery done and that I will accept my body for what it is. Like many typical wome
I think there isn’t anything wrong with reaching out to an old boyfriend.
During the darkest part of my depression I prayed for someone to hold on to. The answer came in the form of an old boyfriend. We met up while supporting a mutual high school friend during his last days after battling prostate cancer.
It was later after the funeral he professed his regret and I was able to share my depression after years of being emotionally abused by my husband. We were able to discuss past mistakes and agreed to a friendship. He was so kind and supportive I felt my prayers had been answered. Then without warning, less then a year later he died. I can’t tell you how devasted I was.
Several months later, still enduring depression, compounded with the loss of my friend, I was online with classmates sharing in the loss. It was during one of these group conversations when a message appeared that stopped me dead in my tracks.
It was the boy I had believed to be “the one” back when and here he was sending me a message asking me for information about the death of our class mate. This is the guy who made me go weak in the knees with just a look. He was kind, thoughtful, funny and a good guy. We had been together for 3yrs and one day he just left.
I heard he married a classmate after college and they moved away. I moved on but was never able to let go completely he stayed in my heart.
We started to converse. Without planning to we stayed in touch via text and email for 2 years. We reminised and talked about any and everything. I was able to ask questions, he answered them. It was so healing, we shared, we debated, we argued, we apologized, we confessed, then we slowly started to let go of each other. It seems we both were going through some sort struggle of unhappiness with our own lives and wondering if there was something better out there.
He decided he needed to focus on his career. He realized any thought of leaving would alter who he was, I can only respect him for it. I decided I needed to focus on preparing to leave mine and cut a new path.
Was it worth it? I’d have to say yes. Though I have warn that texting and emailing leave words and feelings open to interpretation which can cause problems in communicating.
Do I feel guilty? No. But let me say the problems in his marriage and mine were there long before we started communicating.
Thanks so much for your heartfelt post.