| intimacy after retirement |
I am a married 62yr old female, husband is 64yr old male,,,we are both in good health,few aches and pains. We have not been intimate in 6yrs, I am furious about it,he refuses to talk about it,it stopped when he started having troulbe with h is prostrate,,it got enlarged. Any suggestions how to approach the subject, he refuses to talk about it…..walks away
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Kudo's to you Alicia! Wow you've accomplished quite a lot in your life and you will with dating too at some point. Hang in there! Hugs back! Lisa
tried this (as well as the Garnier tinted moisture) in vacation last week ... Liked the Garnier better, but this provides more coverage and does indeed stay on through everything ... not heavy or greasy ... covers my rosacea. Not sure it will be my eMy parents divorced when I was ten and I always felt like my lack of self esteem most have something to do with my Dad's absence but then one day when I was in my firths my mother said or did something that made me realize she was emotionally abusive
Holy crap! What a sad story. Congrats on overcoming that hurdle. Wow.
How I would handle it. FIrst, I would get into therapy; that could go a long way to helping you and your difficulties.
Second (boundaries are necessary in life)..when your kids call for advice, I would FIRST ask them what their thoughts are an
I guess my first reaction is, well sex isn’t just about him…..if you are feeling deprived, I would just ask him if he would find a way to stimulate and please you so you don’t have this sexual frustration…..there are many ways that many people are intimate, not just with intercourse…..perhaps in giving you pleasure he might rekindle his own interest……he may not be interested, but remind him you are not sexually dead…..my drive is stronger than my partners because he is on BP meds, insulin, etc. etc. and those cause a reduction in libido….if I feel we have gone too long without intimacy, I just ask for it….told him he can go as long as he wants, but I expect him to take care of my needs regardless….
I find that I am in a similar situation, my husband is 8 years younger than myself, but around age 40 for him, he developed erectile disfunction. He gets it up but no ……you know. He ignored me and then blamed me and then stopped blaming me. I have a very, very high desire. He has even stopped touching … the only contact is a brush of the lips at bedtime. I have tried to get him help, made doctors appt. bought books but he has just put his head in the sand and ignores everything. I am very lonely and feel that I have gone into a depression. We have been together for 30 years. He tries to be a friend, like talking nice, (nice weather, son is going this or that) Our son is just 14 years old. My husband now puts all his energy into my son and my husband just seems to be a boarder in our house for me anyway. I want a life back, I really believe that if things do not change that when my son is old enough there will be even less for my husband and myself. I do not want to die before I am dead. Does anyone have any suggestions?? SuSu
well I am in the same boat as Sunblossom, my husband and I are married 47 years and he had prostate cancer a few tears back, our sex situation went down the tubes. He tried a few things with the needle, pump etc. but nothing worked…we had a lot of fights but the bottom line was because of refraining from sex. He went to A SEX Therapist only once, and never went back,so I did not say anything about it…so here I am a vibrant women with no sex only once in awhile he will try and please me other ways,but thats only every 4 months or so…I want our sex back but I guess I will have to except what is for now ..I am 71 and he is the same age..we had a terrific sex life …….
Have you considered buying a sexual stimulation massager? I have seen many ads for these in catalogs or online. Even Dr. Laura Berman, sex therapist, has designed one. The Vermont Country Store catalog, of all things, has an ad for some of these “helpers”. Heck I’m thinking of ordering one myself, since I join all of you women (60+) who haven’t enjoyed sex for many many years, sad to say!