| Have you ever dated younger men???? | Hot Conversation |
I have a friend who is 8 years younger than me……. There is definitely a romantic attraction…. and we are aware of our age differences…So far we are just friends…. but I’m not sure if I should try to go further ??? Anyone had experience with this situation ????
Okanagan Gal..
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Be honest, talk to your husband.
mswings - thank you so much for posting this - it gives me hope for my future. I'm still in the midst of mourning my marriage and even after 14 months I wake up and the first thing on my mind is HIM! I have just started talking with a counselor and
The red flags are telling you to RUN!!!!!!!! The other way of course. This guy is not right, please listen to the advice given....
It might be time to check in with you Dr to see if there is anything that you may be lacking as far as hormones are concerned. Sounds like that is where the problem may be.
mswings:
I also had 35 years of a what I thought was a good marriage. Now that I've been on my own for about 2 years I am finding out I'm Ok and I love being by myself. I applied for a job that I would never have applied for when I was married
My husband is nine years younger than me and is a very youthful kind of guy, as well…full of energy, etc. We have been married for fifteen years and have a very strong relationship.
One of the most important things in relationship is commitment. If he is the type of guy who loves deeply, is committed to you, I say go for it!
8 doesn’t seem like a huge age gap to me. I think it depends on how much you have in common and whether you get along well… age can be relative.
I’m in conversation, of sorts, with a 35 yr. old man. He thinks I’m cute! (I just turned 58 and he knows that) I know that nothing will come of it but for the fun of it…why not? (we probably won’t meet as he’s not being as forthcoming w/ the important details I require before meeting)
And, last week I had a date with a 76 year old man. He didn’t seem that old to me, at all. I was pleasantly surprised. So, for me it really is about a mix of things, not always related to chronological age.
Walker
My husband is 8 1/2 years younger than me. We have been married 23 1/2 years!!!!! Yes, it was awkward when we met as he was not even old enough to buy liquor…. My friends teased me…. But back then he was more mature than many of the men I had been dating that were my age.
We have an amazing marriage. He has stood by me through thick and thin and definately sickness and health. He is my very best friend…
You go for it girlfriend… you just never know….
For me personally I believe age is just a number (within reason – I do have my limits.) I haven’t dated in a pretty long time, but when I first divorced 14 yrs ago, I mostly did date younger men. The biggest difference was 12 yrs. I’ve been fortunate that I look younger than my age and act younger than my age – most of them had no idea at the beginning there was so much of an age difference. In fact, the guy that was 12 yrs younger was prematurely gray & people always thought he was older than me.
Some younger men come across way too immature for me, others are equally mature with me. Provided I had enough things in common with him so that we could enjoy doing fun things together – and provided I was 100% certain he was not after more than companionship (i.e., money, security, a mommy figure) then why not? (Not that I have all that much money, but sometimes they THINK you do just because you are older, confident & have a comfortable lifestyle.)
If things escalate to the point you have a chance to date him, go for it.
DATE HIM! i am 69 and dating a 54 yr old. i have had only a few dates so far. he thinks i am 59, but i will tell him the truth soon. i hope he is ok with it.I look very young(about 50) and slim and fit him well. i do not think 8 yrs is much at all. it is what you have in common and how you get along. the chemistry has to be there and if it is – go for it! even if you end up just having a short experience with him, it will give you such a boost.you will emerge more confident in your own self and ready to move on with joy. and if it lasts, hurray! but it will not die out because of only 8 years!
to KMARTIN, I AGREE WITH YOU. I would like to know if any younger men you dated decided to leave you when they found out that you were much older than them, and when did you decide to tell them – how many dates later did you reveal the age truth?
No – they didn’t care. I never worried about telling them at any certain point. If a discussion about age came up & they wanted to know, or the way it was going leaned a direction where it was natural to mention it, I told them. I just figured if they didn’t care enough to ask then all was well. They were always amazed since I did look & act younger.
By the way, I didn’t usually ask them their age either – if they mentioned it fine – if not fine. To me, it was the things we had in common, etc. that mattered.
Oh if you both like each other, by all means go for it. Age is a number, and while in some cases a large age gap can cause a drifting of the relationship later on down the line, I certainly don’t think 8 years is a big difference. Personally, I’ve always used the “decade” rule: People within ten years of each other (40-50, 50-60 etc) are usually within the same page.
Have fun, enjoy life. It’s short.
GO FOR II,TAKE a chance and HAVE fun with him.I am in a MOST wonderful relationship with a much younger man.We have been through a lot together . we’Whenever we are standing next to each other people ALWAYS think that he is my husband.I look about his age and have a very positive outlook in life.Maybe that’s it.
THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE COMMENTS. YOU ARE ALL SO INSPIRING.
OKANAGAN GIRL, DO IT! what have you got to lose? nothing! you are back where you started if it does not work out and there will be someone else after him! And if it works with him – good for you!
My husband is 7 years younger than me. We have been married for 8 years now. We have soooo much in common and he treats me so much better than my ex, who I divorced after 30 years of unhappy marriage. My only concern is now that I’m approaching 65, I want to retire, and I fear I will feel guilty that he still has to work while I’m retired. He tells me that is no problem for him, as I deserve it. I believe him. Otherwise, this has been a wonderful relationship, best one of my life.
My husband is 7 years younger than me. We have been married for 8 years now. We have soooo much in common and he treats me so much better than my ex, who I divorced after 30 years of unhappy marriage. My only concern is now that I’m approaching 65, I want to retire, and I fear I will feel guilty that he still has to work while I’m retired. He tells me that is no problem for him, as I deserve it. I believe him. Otherwise, this has been a wonderful relationship, best one of my life. Go for it!
GOOD for you!!! I am 59 and my younger honey wants to do the same.DON’T feel guilty about retiring.I am sure you have worked lots and hard enough….HAVE FUN,TREAT yourself and allow your sweetie to treat you like a princess as you should be.CONGRATS….
Ladies, I was reluctant to jump in because I’ve dated guys that were . . .wait for it, wait for it . . . 20 yrs younger than me. Please withhold the tar and feathers!!! I tell them immediately how old I am and they are always amazed. I chuckle to myself when I think “gee maybe I ought to ask him where’s his dad:)
Communication is key as well as things you have in common. I’m easy going, easy to talk to, love to laugh and can handle the dance floor. Like I said, I like living this kind of life. GO FOR IT!
GO GIRLFRIEND….That’s the attitude.These younger men probably LOVE your great energy and zest for life….That’s wonderful……..
On sunday my younger man of age 54 told me it is over. He had started seeing another woman earlier than me, had more history with her, had broken up with her while she had problems to solve – and thought he was never seeing her again_ which is when he started seeing me. But then she came back and he decided he would commit to making it work with her. He admits we had great connection and lots in common, but….So it is over. I cried. I am sick at heart. I see what I could have had. I was falling for him hard.BUt I am 69.
My girlfriend says now it can work while you are still so energetic, in great shape, look so young , but she says if I had stayed with him it would not have worked in later years. She said the years would show up. She says when you are 80 and he is 65,he will look at you one day when you get out of bed, looking old, and he will say what am i here for!
So do any of you have experience in that? Can it work with huge age difference forever? I ask this because the way I am now I am only attracted to younger men-usually 15 years younger. I am suffering because it is so hard to find someone and i see what I could have had – what is out there, but should i be afraid to go for younger again?
My dearest anonymous,PLEASE give yourself credit.I am sure that you are terrific.Your younger man broke it off because he wasn’t quite finished with the other woman so it was very wrong of him to start seeing you and DO that to you.Don’t doubt yourself because it has NOTHING to do with your age or what’s going to happen to your looks.We will all get there sooner or later.He made a mistake and LOST someone WONDERFUL.I had a similar experience 5 years ago and thought the same.FUNNY thing my ex who left me for the younger whatever she was now REGRETS he ever did leave me.At that moment it HURT so bad because I was SO in love with him and everyone around thought we were married.DON’T give up on love with a younger man.A few months later I met another younger man and I actually look younger than him.CELEBRATE the great woman that I am sure you are .Look at yourself in the mirror every day and see ho great and beautiful you are.
OH ANONYMOUS, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR REPLY! it made me feel better to hear your words, even though i burst out crying,thinking about him. I had really gotten into the man. You are right, he never should have seen me in the first place. He was obviously not 100% sure he was done with her, yet he started with me. He did apologize to me, stated he felt like he had misled me and wanted to now be honest and come clean. At least he realized it. We even had phone sex the night before we broke up – he had been thinking about me and called me, (yet he knew he had restarted with her), but he got carried away and we both succumbed to phone sex.I was sick that night with vertigo, so he did not come over, we just talked by phone, and then next morning he was sane and he told me the truth.
Thank you so much for the encouragement and not to give up on younger men.
I am glad to hear your relationship worked out!
i just cannot see myself with men my age or near it. Maybe they are out there, but my ideal is very uncommon in older age group. As an former dancer, I need muscular ,fit, athletic,and (good looking), and HEALTHY!.
THANK YOU AGAIN FOR YOUR COMMENTS. I LOVE THIS FORUM. EVERYONE IS SO HELPFUL TO EACH OTHER.
Anonymous 2, It was a pleasure to be able to help you deal with this challenging time in your life.All I can say too is that I as well just turned 59 and except for a few grey hair I AM in very good shape.Having worked in fashion and make-up has helped me keep in really good shape.So I too agree that I WOULDN’T imagine ever being with a man who is NOT.I am a city kind of girl having lived in many places including Paris where everyone walks or takes the subway.
in fact I ‘d rather be by myself than settle down with a man who didn’t value himself enough to take care of himself and stay in shape.
Honestly I LIKE myself too much and I would rather be by myself.When I start feeling kind of low or scared I make a point to get all dolled up wearing my best dress RED . It makes me feel sexy and I go out to dinner by myself….This positive energy and frame of mind has gotten me through a lot.Communication is key.I am positive that someone else MUCH BETTER and APPRECIATIVE of the wonderful woman that you are will come into your life.It was this man’s LOST to let you go as it sounds like it may not even work with this other relationship.
so, anonymous, you are not in a relationship now? you sound like a very secure and very interesting woman. So am I. you can email me anytime. I also did makeup, but it was not my career. i danced.I acted also. I am now in medicine. I am now thinking of going back to dance(teaching/choreography), and also acting locally, to get back to who I am and meet other people and maybe men who would be my type. The younger man also acted, modeled a bit, as a sideline. I am trying to find places to meet new men. Thank you again for your encouragement. LOVE THE RED DRESS! Funny, i bought a red short tight skirt today.
I am and have always been independent .Something my dad who recently passed away taught of all of his five children.Education was also another very important to him as well so he made sure we all attended college.
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I am still in my relationship.As a matter of fact we parted ways for a couple of years and we recently reconnected,the VERY best thing that has ever happened to me.OUR MUTUAL work in progress.GREAT communication is what keeps our relationship STRONG.
I truly believe that once you get back into the creative scene where men are more open you will meet someone wonderful and just right for you!!!!!!!!
I would LOVE to stay in touch .How do we privately email each other?
anonymous, what are your ages and age difference? i had no college or money making skills as a dancer, but i went back to school , did my bachelors, then graduate school finished at age 53.actually i have an email which is more secure.i do not believe the people on this site will use it and if anyone outside comes in and finds it and abuses it, they cannot get my real name or address. very unlikely they could, since no info posted on gmail. treasuresseeking18 and it is a gmail address.sounds like you are very together and happy.yes, my friend who is also former dancer who i danced with at age 15, suggested the creative scene where people are not uptight, more open minds.
JUST sent you an email.Hopefully it worked.I will be in touch.Heading out now to load up on basic things a girl need…TALK to you soon????
Dear women……….Please think hard before getting to deep. My husband is 17years younger. He is now 41. Had a great 10 years. BUTT!!!!!!!!! it is falling apart. He is going thru that middle age thing. Now he has to get the women. Boy does he get them. He tries so hard to look good. He even told my neighbors one night, as we were talking; ” A married man is not committing adultery if he has sex with another married woman” Talk about being floored. I almost fell out of my chair. Not to long ago he was on something and said to me “You are not good enough for me, You never was, You never were and You never will be.” Hey !!!!! He lives in my house. I pay ALL the bills. No sex here. He gets his sex someplace else. BUTT he always says he loves me. HA HA HA That’s because I pay everything. Kinda hurts when words kill. I just think of him as a live in son. Remember…….what is good for the goose is good for the gander. Take care ladies……….. They DO NOT grow up. Pain always comes. That is a fact. Have spoken to a lot of women who have and had younger husbands.
I have been married for over 22 years to a man that I met when he was 29 and I was just turning 41 and graduating from college. I had been previously married to another man who was a mere 11 days younger for 20 years until he had a heart attack and died at 38! For the next 3 years I then dated men who were anywhere from 20 years younger to 6 years younger. In fact I have never dated anyone older or closer to my age since my first husband. My current husband absolutely adores me, and at 64 I have been told that I don’t look anywhere near my age. So girls go for any happiness you can reach and enjoy it while it lasts. Age is only a number.
I agree with you.Age is a number.I was married for thirteen years to a man one year younger than me and ha two beautiful kids BUT I was miserable.After being single for years I finally met a wonderful man who is eighteen years younger than I. Likewise we look about the same age .When we’re out together people always think that we are married.Age is a number.In any relationship between a man and a woman it is about compromise and balance and respect for each other. There is no magical recipe or set formula for true happiness or who you fall in love with..