Please don’t judge me! I was married; I didn’t have such a good marriage. I met this wonderful person, and a relationship happen. I hate telling the story, who else can I tell other than? To (VN), Please don’t judge me. I am not the person who you think I am. It just happened.
I feel awful because my husband passed away two years ago and his wife maybe 3/4 years. I can’t get over the pain. Most of all my husband is gone; I feel lost and disconnected. I can’t sleep at night. Next thing, I feel bad because I did it to another woman. After always saying, I would never do it to anyone,I did it. A few days ago, he contact me asking how was I doing? I answered with; I am fine, what about you? He replied are you sure? I refuse to tell him, my husband passed away. Not, because I am afraid, I will open the door for something else. However, because it hurt’s saying my husband is gone. Saying it here hurts. I have no friends here they live all over the world, all I have is my grown kids moving on with their life. I wish for my husband no matter how the marriage was. I took care of my husband for six years he had agent orange. I loved him but spent years tearfully because he would say things that would hurt so bad. Sometimes I couldn’t get out of bed because of depression. He is gone, and I am still crying. Please don’t judge me, I am living in my own hell! This is why I feel awful.
Hello old lady2,and JKL..... my location is 1/4 mile out of Sun River Oregon, Bend is the town. It is a ski, area in the winter, which may or may not be a down side. There are many older people that cross country, ski, and snowmobile. In the win
Loved your poem and will share with my yoga class tonight!
So, what I hear you saying is that this is unacceptable. Be clear and sure. You are not o.k. with this. If he wants this relationship (with you), he has to take down his profile and just be with you---it's always a risk on both sides. Thanks for fill
I won’t judge you. I am sorry you are hurting and that you are in pain. Losing a loved one hurts.
It takes time to grieve and I’m sure it will take you some time to work through your emotions.
I can’t really say anything to ease that burden. But, I do want to make a very important point……relationships do not “just happen”
People, by their free will choice enter into them. Yes, we may enter them not really thinking about the consequences that may come out of entering them, but the absolute truth is that we do enter them by a choice.
Taking responsibility for our choices is a very important step to getting closure and healing. If you continue to see yourself as a victim who had no choice or role in where you are right now, you will suffer in other ways.
Take responsibility. Forgive yourself and then let the healing begin.
Magnolia
Thanks, for being kind and speaking kinds words.
Well said, MM. Saying “I chose,,,” is empowering and can be a steady influence on your life. I’m sorry for your loss and wish you well. Better days are coming, hang on.
Watermusic,
thanks, your words are much appreciated. And thanks for not judging me.