Has dating over 50 become so unbelievably frustrating for you? Does it feel like there are no Quality Men out there to date in the mature dating arena these days? Do you just feel like quitting, yet you’re tired of being alone and you really want a great guy in your life but you can’t find him?
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Let me reassure you that this is a normal feeling for many women over 50. It can be so difficult to get out there and date again. Maybe your confidence is shot or you aren’t sure anymore how to date in a way that gets you noticed by Quality Men.
In fact, do you ever have a hard time accepting yourself as the wonderful woman you really are? When you look in the mirror, do you see your magnificence, or does every flaw pop out and drive you crazy?
Maybe you’ve gained a few pounds over the years or gravity and wrinkles are taking their toll and you just don’t feel good enough to be a player in the dating game right now. So you choose not to date, thinking no good man would want you this way.
When this happens, try making a list of 10-20 Qualities YOU love about you. Then everyday, look in the mirror and read your list out loud to yourself. This is a very powerful exercise that will help you rebuild your confidence since you last dated in your teens or 20’s.
During those times of the day when you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts about you- take out your list and do the ‘3 to 1 game’.
For every negative thought you share with yourself about you, turn around and remind yourself of 3 positive thoughts from your list. So, if you start thinking “my butt’s too big”- stop, grab your list and remind yourself of 3 positive qualities that are special about you. Like: 1. I love my big beautiful eyes 2. I love my open heart 3. I love my openness to change.
It’s important you feel confident about how wonderful you are and the ‘3 to 1 game’ is the easiest way to go from being overly critical, to feeling great about you. If you feel good about you, you will be in a place to attract the Quality Men you’d like to date.
Next I want to ask you if you are Dating to Date or Dating to Mate? There’s a big difference here and one is far more fun and enjoyable then the other.
When you go on a first date, are you inspecting a man’s dating resume? If he has one flaw, do you knock him out of the game right away? If so, this might be a BIG REASON dating has become so frustrating for you and why you feel no great men are out there.
John Grey uses a wonderful analogy about a house that is perfect for understanding dating as well. When you go to a friend’s house for dinner, you look around and think wow, what a wonderful house. Yet, if you were planning on buying the same house, you would start hunting for its flaws totally oblivious to its beauty and what it has to offer.
Well, when you date to mate, often all you will see are a man’s flaws. He could be the greatest man out there but when choosing partners to spend the rest of your days with from date #1, you’re thinking he’d better be PERFECT in your eyes or he’s out of the game QUICKLY.
If you date to date, you will have far more fun dating. Like the house you visit that feels so good, men you date to date will seem so much better. You won’t be looking for his flaws. Instead you and this man are about having fun and his companionship provides you with a male friend and possibly a lover, to share movies, dinner or maybe even a vacation with.
The funny thing is-you may find this is a man you want in your life for a long time and the advantage he has over the guy you dated just to mate was, he didn’t have to prove it on the first date.
Try both the ‘3 to 1’ confidence booster and dating to date and see for yourself how many Quality Men start showing up in your life. Let me know how it works for you!
The Smart Choice for Mature Savvy Women Looking for a Coach Who Makes Dating Easier and Fun after 50
There is no such thing as a legal separation in my state..The only way I can get husband out of the house is to force him out..He refuses to leave..I would have to file for divorce and get temporary orders including a restraining order..
I feel so
doggiediva - I live in Florida which is a no fault divorce state. Everything that was accumulated during a marriage has to be divvied up 50/50. Unfortunately, he has nothing but the house to offer you. Because of your health situation he may not be e
Yes, consult a lawyer, and ask the lawyer if its legal to have a keylogger installed onto your husbands computer to verify or not that he has porn on it. It might be useful when the divorce comes up...
Hey, we need all the ammunition we can get a
Hey, Lisa: There is nothing wrong with me! Just that I haven’t met a man of integrity and quality……8 years of being alone……excruciating!
After being single for a long, long time, at 53, I have found my caring and loving husband, through eHarmony. You type in your likes, dislikes, interests, what is important to you etc. They match you up with someone with the same ideals. Get to know him before you agree to give him your phone number or where to meet. We met 3 years ago and just got married this summer. I am so glad I decided to join.
I tried e-harmony, but nuthin! Maybe I might try again. Congratulations!