another update: i’m celibate and it’s not by choice

It has been a while since I’ve visited this topic, but back in February and March of this year, I shook as I posted intimate details about my relationship here: http://www.vibrantnation.com/family-relationships/im-celibate-and-its-not-by-choice/ and here http://www.vibrantnation.com/love-sex/an-update-im-celibate-and-its-not-by-choice/

I think it’s time for another update. SEX IS VERY GOOD and SEX IS OFTEN and SEX IS OFTEN VERY GOOD! I never thought those words would be part of any conversation about my marriage, but there they are.

What was the key to getting past this huge roadblock in our relationship? A roadblock that went on for years, that included shouting matches, name calling, threats to call it quits, and seemingly insurmountable pain and hurt? Without a doubt, it was the knees to knees conversation that my husband and I had (explained in the second link above).

In fact, this has proven so successful – that knees to knees thing – that I’ve used it to break through blockages in a couple of other relationships, including a troubled relationship with my sister, which is now pretty smooth.

I don’t want to imply that reconnecting with my husband was trouble-free. It wasn’t. There were hurts to overcome. There were awkward moments. But when we got real and said what we really thought and felt, and asked for what we really wanted, the hurts and awkwardness disappeared. I am so grateful that I stayed and tried one more time. It was the scariest thing I’ve ever done, putting my heart back into this relationship.

Thanks again for all of the great advice you gave after my initial posts. I really love this community of women.

Posted in love & sex.

Related posts:

  1. An Update: I’m Celibate and It’s Not By Choice
  2. I’m Celibate, and It’s Not By Choice
  3. True love is a choice – 6 ways to make this choice every day
  4. Don’t miss: “I’m the stepmom” update
  5. 2 years post-divorce: My update

add your responses

2 Responses

  1. watermusic watermusic says

    I’m so impressed, all I can say is good for you. It’s so easy to burn bridges, and I should know. Standing still and fighting for what’s important to you takes real courage. Congratulations. I’m thrilled for you.

    0 like

  2. Vicky1956 Vicky1956 says

    Good for you. Sometimes when it seems like it’s easier to leave than work on it, that’s not the truth. Leaving is hard; working on it is hard. In your case everything but intimacy seemed to be there, so good for you for being honest with him, and good for him for listening. I love happy endings…or beginnings.

    0 like

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Subscribe without commenting