I woke up last night to find my husband taking care of business with his right hand. As I roused he got up and went to the bathroom.
In retrospect I think I should have said something to keep him from going. ‘Hey, do you need any help with that?’
Our sex life is in a state of shoddy ill repair. It has bourne the ravages of my absence due to eldercare & my sciatica. This work is so worth doing, so needed by us both and so hard to start.
We have love, friendship, kindness and patience. How would you begin? This inquiry is more regarding interpersonal relationships than power tools.
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Holy crap! What a sad story. Congrats on overcoming that hurdle. Wow.
How I would handle it. FIrst, I would get into therapy; that could go a long way to helping you and your difficulties.
Second (boundaries are necessary in life)..when your kids call for advice, I would FIRST ask them what their thoughts are an
Go for it ! Get out there and do something you love !
Use the internet. Here is a site I found.
http://www.bnbfinder.com/positionsAvailable.php
Most B&B are seasonal and offer housing, so you will get a chance to see if you like it. Wi
You had a good suggestion for yourself, “Hey,…. ” Can you have a date night, court each other again, write him a love letter, seduce him? Good luck.
Yeah, I know. I think what stopped me. oddly enough, was I felt kind of like I was intruding.
Hi memeg,
He seems to not want to make advances because of your condition. Maybe you should make the first move. Give him that hand and let things hapen.
anir
Start with a back rub and see where it goes kind of thing? It’s not the solution to every mechanical how to issue I have with”‘my condition”, but it certainly will help get us back in the game. Sometimes the first step is the most difficult part. It feels like adolescence again– not knowing what to do. So you ladies are saying the only mistake is to do nothing… point well taken. Thanks!
I would say seduce him – Start kissing his body passionately, nibble on his ears, caress his “power tool”. Go for it!
You’re getting lots of good advice. I’d add this: make a lovemaking date. Tell him you realize the two of you haven’t had time for intimacy lately, and you miss it and bet he does, too. Plan for it, tease each other about it, and make it happen.
I would only add this to some good advice you’ve gotten: it’s normal for men to do that in the middle of the night, married or not, good sexlife or not. i believe they feel it’s easier, if they wake “in need,” to take care of it quickly and get back to sleep. not a comment on you.
It just that we used to do it together. We have a date! If fate intervenes somehow I’ll just go back to the drawing board and make another. We’re worth it.
Good advice, but why not also talk to him? Bring it up (*snort*, no the conversation) & ask him if it’s because you’ve been somewhat absent. Then open the convo for re-vitalizing your sex life.
I’m going to guess that he’ll shrug it off & say it’s no big deal. Just tell him you miss it too & that should be enough for him to wake you up next time.
***sigh** I remember the days, long ago, when my husband would wake me up in the middle of the night. One time, after no words had been spoken, only actions, & we’d collapsed back onto the pillows I whispered,
“Is that you Dave?”
HA!