A guerrilla guide to the holidays

This year, the winter holidays will be different. This year, you will not spend too much, you will gain no more than five pounds, you will not freak out over last-minute presents or get-togethers, and you will get your hands on the must-have gifts of the season. But make no mistake, ladies: this is war.

#10 – Have A Battle Plan

Write up a gift list and a budget well in advance, and stick to them. Also have a calendar with large boxes on hand so you can mark down all events, store sale days, and all your other reminders and commitments. These ideas are so self-explanatory that they hardly even count as legitimate “tips,” but that’s the problem: something we think is simple and obvious never seems important enough to actually do. Most of us head into November thinking we can keep track of all this stuff in our heads, and that there’s plenty of time to work out our plans and get our shopping done. Next thing you know, it’s December 22nd and you still haven’t found the right gift for your brother or bought the ingredients for the enchiladas you promised to bring to the office potluck, and you can’t remember if your niece’s holiday recital is tonight at six or tomorrow night at seven.

#9 – Gather Intelligence

The best place to do your research and comparison-shopping is the Internet. Sites like MySimon, NexTag, BizRate and PriceGrabber allow visitors to search for virtually any product you can imagine and see what that product is selling for at various online retailers. Even if you don’t intend to do your shopping online, using such a site gives you a good idea of what you can expect to pay for a given item; as a rule you will pay a bit more in a brick-and-mortar store than you will for the same item online, but you’ll still have a guideline to work with. The sites also provide shopper feedback on the retailers they list, so you can be sure you’re not going to get a low price but end up ‘paying’ for it in the form of poor customer service or slow shipping. Some of the sites provide reviews on the products listed as well, but you can also just head on over to Amazon or Ask An Owner for unbiased reviews from consumers. There are some specialized sites you may want to visit as well, such the reviews section of CNET for professional ratings on all things having to do with technology, gadgets and appliances, and Trip Advisor for consumer travel reviews.

#8 – Ensure Your Supply Lines Stay Open

If you’re hoping to gift the hot new holiday toy, videogame, gadget or DVD, avail yourself of retailer pre-order offers. These are usually displayed pretty prominently in stores, but when you don’t see an offer for something you want don’t hesitate to ask a store clerk if there’s a pre-order option available. To pre-order, you put a nominal amount of money down to reserve the item, then come back with your pre-order voucher to pay the balance and pick the item up after it becomes available. Oftentimes, you’ll get some kind of additional gift or a premium version of the item for having pre-ordered it in the first place. You’re guaranteed to get the item, and best of all, you won’t have to wait in long lines or keep checking back with the store to see if any more crates of the coveted gift have been delivered to the store. You’ll have the item reserved, and can pick it up whenever it’s most convenient for you.

Another aspect of keeping supply lines open is keeping a cache of small, pre-wrapped gifts on hand for last-minute, unexpected exchanges and hostess gifts. For example, you can keep a case of wine with ribbons and “From:” hang-cards tied around each bottle’s neck. For the teetotalers in your life, small boxes of See’s chocolates are usually welcome, as are small-denomination gift cards for Starbucks, which will even let you design your own gift cards and order them in quantity online.

#7 – Keep Your Friends Close, But Your Enemies Closer

During the crazy, hectic holiday season, everyone’s nerves are frayed. You may find yourself viewing store clerks and managers as the enemy when they keep you waiting or can’t get the thing you want, in the size you want, in the color you want, or for the price you want. Nothing could be further from the truth, because if you’re on friendly terms with those retail representatives they will be only too happy to let you know if the big-ticket things on your list will be going on sale anytime soon, and when the next shipment of sold-out items will be unpacked and put out on store shelves.

#6 – Make Key Diplomatic Alliances

Sometimes, there’s no pre-order option available and the store clerk can’t tell you when the gotta-have-it gift of the season will be available in stores. In that situation, you’ve got to reach across borders and engage in some diplomacy with distant family, friends and retailers. You see, the relative “hotness” of a given toy or gift item is sometimes a regional thing. Everyone in your nephew’s Chicago school may be ga-ga for a certain trading card game or action figure, while over at your granddaughter’s school in Phoenix the thing is either passé or yet to be discovered. Call and email around to friends and relations to see if the thing you want is more readily available in their neck of the woods, and if so, whether you can send them some money to buy it and ship it to you. In cases where the sought-after gift is popular everywhere, remember that every branch of a given retailer is likely to order whatever quantity of that gift they possibly can, but not every retailer is in a location where the gift is likely to sell out. For example, the Guitar Hero videogame that flew off the shelves of every retailer in your big town in record time may move only one or two units in a small town, or a community comprised largely of retirees. If you don’t have out-of-town friends or family to help, hit the retailer’s website and click the ‘Store Locations’ link to get a list of likely locations to try. Often, the store will allow you to mail-order the item.

#5 – Avoid Ambush

Beware the drinks and treats lying in wait to pack unwanted pounds on your frame. If you’re on a structured diet, eat one of your diet meals before heading out to a holiday dinner or party. Otherwise, with your dietary requirements permitting, eat something high in protein or whole-grain fiber before leaving home; these will be filling, and will keep you feeling full for hours. Fattening goodies won’t be nearly as tempting if you tame your appetite ahead of time, so you can enjoy a few treats but still avoid overeating. Also be aware of your alcohol intake, and opt for light beer and spritzers instead of higher-calorie drinks and cocktails where possible. Finally, stay away from wine coolers and premium coffee drinks (like Keoke coffee, flavored mochas and lattes), which often have as much (or more!) sugar, carbs and calories as soda pop.

#4 – MREs Will Save Your Life, Soldier

When it comes to holiday entertaining, put the effort into a single, signature dish or dessert if you like, but consider buying heat-and-eat, pre-cooked holiday meals and snacks to round out the menu wherever possible. Check with your favorite grocery store to see if it will be offering pre-cooked holiday meals; they’re usually provided in generous quantities at a surprisingly reasonable cost, and in my experience, are no less delicious nor filling than the homemade stuff. Granted, I am not the world’s most accomplished cook, and if cooking is truly at the center of your holiday traditions you can feel free to ignore this suggestion. But for those of you who dread hours spent in a hot, crowded and messy kitchen, there’s little to lose and everything to gain in letting someone else do the cooking for you.

One more thing: keep a supply of ready-made hors d’oeuvres and finger foods in your freezer (ideally, things that can be heated in a microwave), a spare six-pack or two of soda pop in the fridge, plus a few bottles of wine, a stack of paper plates and a sleeve of disposable cups (ideally, recyclable) on hand for unexpected entertaining. You never know when you’ll overhear your significant other casually utter that dreaded sentence: “Hey, why don’t all of you come on back to the house for a visit?”

#3 – Remember That War Has No Season

Keep a gift list going year-round, both for the winter holidays and for other gift-giving occasions like birthdays and anniversaries. That way, you can keep an eye out for the perfect gift—at the perfect price—well in advance. There’s nothing to promote a relaxed holiday season like having all your shopping done by Halloween. Just make sure you have a single location in which to store all your gift purchases, however. More than once I’ve been caught short because I couldn’t remember where I put something I’d bought months before. Also remember to pick up holiday-themed items like Christmas lights and wrapping paper at New Year’s clearance sales. Why not get them at 50% off or more, when you know you’re going to need them next year?

#2 – Maintain Morale In The Ranks

Give yourself permission to take a time-out when you need one, and don’t over-commit; the church bake sale will probably do just fine without your Red Velvet Cake, and no one will fault you if you can’t make it to every performance of your grandchild’s class play. Lastly, don’t expect yourself or anyone else to be perfect during this stressful time of year. Remember that the most memorable, cherished holidays and get-togethers aren’t usually the ones that went off without a hitch. It’s okay (and can even be fun!) to have some unplanned misadventures. You may feel like crying over burned turkey now, but next year you’ll be laughing over it.

#1 – Debrief For Lessons Learned

Keep a holiday notebook with clippings, recipes, notes and reminders to yourself for next year. Ten months from now you’re not likely to remember which recipes were a disaster and which were a big hit, which games and outings were fun or disappointing, who had food allergies and to what, which stores and service vendors were especially easy to work with, et cetera, et cetera. Keep your notebook handy all through the season so you can add to it whenever the need arises or the mood strikes.