1. All you can hope to control, however long you have and in whatever the circumstances, is whether you will bring your best or worst to bear.
2. There are times when all you can do is remember to breathe.
3. It is the willingness to engage in the struggle for what really matters that merits God’s intervention—not how deserving you think you are, nor whether you manage to emerge unwounded.
4. Because our futures are open and free, many influences contribute to how our lives will unfold over time. Ironically, your ability to hope becomes one of those factors, carrying just enough weight to make the difference.
5. Not everything that happens is a message. Sometimes a rat is only a rat.
6. Embrace the possibility that many things are bound to get in your way. Success comes not in spite of the things that happen to you but because you have grown large enough to embrace it all.
7. It is in the void that the status quo has the lightest hold on us. Released from the constructs of our everyday life, we have the least to lose. In the void, we are freest to make changes.
8. The good news is that you don’t need an upbeat or even a brave attitude to make progress. You just need discipline, putting resumes out, making phone calls, following up leads and the like. This you can do happy or sad, anxious or full of faith.
9. It’s the economy that’s broken, not you.
10. When you give up the illusion of control, it’s true that you can’t always stop bad things from happening. But you can’t stop good things from happening, either.
I love anything and everything related to food (growing food, eating food, learning about food)....I think you would LOVE my sister's book (1st place winner of 2012 Gourmand Magazine award in the Fund Raising, Charity and Community division for a USA
If you keep rereading the last chapter, you will never get to the next one..get on with your life.
Do not hide your light so that others won't feel insecure around you. And as you let your light shine, you unconsciously give others the right to do the same.
Organic coconut oil. I was introduced to it by a VN sister a while back. It makes my skin SO smooth and it is great for my thick, curly hair! It has a hundred uses (just look it up online) and it costs so little.
Do something exceptionally good for yourself every single day!
The advice I would give a friend who was laid off would be to remember their inherent worth and not let feelings of worthlessness overtake them. They are the sum total of all of their best efforts and the learning they have done from the failures in their lives. To rise each day remembering that that day is an irreplacable gift for them to use to grow into the next stage of their life and that this space of transition is also a gift of time for them to use wisely to determine if they should just continue in the same career path or is this the time in life to branch into something previously yearned for and new. A time of lay off can provide opportunities for schooling or training in new areas and the time to look at life goals. Most of all to remember each and every day how valuable they are to me and to others.
I got laid off a month ago – it was totally unexpected. My first reaction (besides shock, disbelief and anger) was “I’ve got to get a job” Now, although I’m still looking for a job, I’m considering doing contract work, downsizing to reduce expenses, and perhaps being my own boss instead of being “owned” by an employer. I’ve had it with office politics and lack of freedom. I may not have as much financial freedom in the future but I’ll probably have more time and less pressure. At this point, after a 28 year intense career, such freedom really appeals to me. So my advice is re-evaluate what’s really important to you and use the opportunity to make changes in your life.
I was laid off last October at age 61 after spending 19 years living and breathing the company I worked for, to the detriment of everything else in my life. It was a family owned business that went belly-up after struggling through the housing industry slow down. I was the last employee to be let go, so it wasn’t as if I wasn’t expecting it. But still I found myself in shock. Now what? I started journaling so that I could explore my feelings of loss and diminished self-worth. I wanted to find what brought me true happiness. I dove into spending time with my family and caring for my grandchildren. I derive wonderful joy from cooking healthy and delicious meals for my extended family, and becoming involved in the day-to-day of my 4 grandchildren. I realized that although I had tried to stay a part of their lives while I was working those 60 hour weeks, I now find myself intimately involved with who they really are, and they have come to know their Nana. It’s a relationship I would never have achieved in my old “work till you drop” lifestyle. I make do with much less money, and have given up some of the perks of a high income. But you know, I don’t miss it one bit. I have rediscovered myself and the people I truly love, and it is true bliss.
Yeah! I am so happy for you to have time with your family.
What advise would you give to those who are not only unemployed but about to lose their unemployment? I got laid off in October 2008. I am divorced–I have to work to eat. I have 400 over 400 applications and resumes circulating. What do I do when my unemployment ends. I figure I will be living in my car with my German shepherd by Christmas. Got any ideas?
I was laid off January, 2007. I don’t have family to help out. It took me 10 months to find a part time job. I cut back on expenses, work 3rd shift on weekends, and attend night school. I plan on entering nursing school fall of 2010. Its not easy, but doing the hard things is the only way I change my life. My advice would be find the one thing that gets you up out of bed in the morning and do it! Stop being a victim! Don’t look back move forward live in the “NOW” you may never get back the paycheck you lost. Do what it takes to make you happy. Take care of yourself: eat right, exercise, and make new friends. WE are all in this together.
It is so easy to live in your rear view mirror. That keeps me stuck and in fear. My life is now and ahead of me, not behind me. Keep lines of communication open and do not become a hermit. Do not indulge in pity and gain weight or take on a bad habbit.Do indulge in something small like doing chores to your favorite music, or being sure you wear yor favorite color, calling a friend just to say “Hi”. Volunteering will raise your spirits too, even for a few hours a week. I have met some amazing folks and made new connections and freinds by being a volunteer.I have had a very spotty work track record for several years and these things have kept me going!
I am 53 and after 30 years in child welfare a BSW and MS I found the agency that I worked for closing. I was the last to go as I closed the Miami office. It was both discouraging and frightening. I began 2009 with no job and knowing all the players in my local area in Child Welfare no one was moving or leaving from the management positions but have anchored down for the long hall. Over 200 resumes sent I took a big jump! Enrolled myself in a program for Clinical Skin care and decided to take a journey that always interested me yet I thought I was destined to live my life in one profession. I only have two months left in school, love it and look forward to a new career! I would offer, do not be afraid to take the plunge into a new passion or desire. Yes, there are days I am depressed, scared and low on funds. All I know is to move forward and don’t look back. Lisa in Miami
Lisa and everyone: thanks for sharing both the hope and the fear. There was a great self-help book back in the 80′s that said it all: “Feel the Fear–and Do it Anyway.” As I detail my own journey back to faith after being downsized in “The Year I Saved My (downsized) Soul”, I’ve always found that I’ve got to wrestle my attitude back into faith (and occasionally it occurs spontaneously!) before the good stuff starts happening.
Wow – yes Dr. Susan Jeffers – she has a website and you can sign up for her monthly newsletters!
For the first time in my life I’m letting my hair grow beyond shoulder length. My mother never approved. Since I’m 51 and she’s been dead for three years, I decided it was time. When someone commented on my long greying hair, I responded that “I’m going through my Tyne Daly period.” I didn’t realize it at the time but I’m going through my Tyne Daly as Maxine Grey (Judging Amy) period. Maxine had worked all her life and, while on the internet making final plans for her long dreamed of travel to foreign countries, she lost everything day trading. I didn’t lose my way on the internet. I got sick. A combination of Fibromyalgia and Bipolar Disorder got me fired from three jobs. Thinking that I’d be right back to work had me spending as if I were still making $100k a year.
In the story line, Maxine met and fell in love with a multi-millionaire but kept putting him off about marriage until, just as they had secretly planned a quick, family only wedding, he died in his sleep while on a business trip to China. All during their long distance courtship, they acted like teenagers, giggling over the phone. One of their discussions was about her cutting her long hair – how it would be kicky. When she heard of his passing, she went to her room and hacked off her long hair and cried – missed opportunities? After that, suitably calm, she got in touch with what was important and started back with her life.
I haven’t met my multi-millionaire; literally or figuratively. A friend put me in touch with the state mental health system and, next month, I start therapy so I can figure out what is important and I can get back on with my life. Until then; as they say: Whenever God closes one door he opens another even though sometimes it’s hell in the hallway.
I would read and reread the book Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway. Keep a positive attitude. Look into what you truly love and see if there is a way to become involved in it on some level. Use the time to explore your other talents and gifts. Self employment is a grand idea, especially if you have something ready to go. If you have a hobby or talent, blags on the internet are a way to market scrap ideas to name one area. Keep your chin up and be good to yourself, you deserve it!
In my case, I was laid off in December, 2003 after 12 years, 8 months at the same agency. I kept trying to have the faith. The fact is, I am 50 and since depending on my family for support don’t work because they are more into not minding their own business but busy minding mine’s, I finally decided to do something for me, and that resulted in my going back to school online to acquire my Bachelor of Arts degree in Health Care Administration. Not everyone is supportive of my decision. I have had all kinds of responses, but the one that really pissed me off was the fact that I had an eighty-four year old woman ask me what was I getting out of it – at my age? I tried not to be mad, but, as I told her the other night, if she can’t be supportive, don’t say anything. That was like telling me that I am too old and stupid to go to school in an effort to do something good for myself. I resent that, and so I have been going to class for nearly the past 12 weeks now as of tomorrow. I planned on moving back to Chicago this month, but I am going to wait until next month, and what gives me hope is the fact that one day I will look back and be able to find the silliness in non-supportive people. I even went so far as to print off this e-mail because what I read reminded me that there are other women out there trying to make it.
Too old at 50? Wow. That seems young to me! I got my Ph.D. at 50 and am going to enjoy the heck out of 50 years of being called “Dr. Orsborn.” !!!
wow two small sentences and you have inspired me to go back and finish my bachelors…..i always wanted to be an instructor i am 53 maybe if i start now i can finish at 55 as i already have an associates and teach for 10 yrs……thx for your inspiration Dr. Osborn!
I went back to finish my degree at 46. It was the best thing I ever did for myself esteem. It also landed me a good job after graduation. It’s been 8 years now and my yonger sister has just started college at age 51. I am so very proud of her because I know how much courage it takes to begin such an journey. Be proud of yourself, love yourself and don’t be too concerned about what others say. They may be asking themselves why they didn’t have the courage to do what you are doing. You are a very brave soul, be proud and you will find that the world is now yours!!
I, too, was laid off, over a year ago, at the age of 52. I am still seeking employment. It’s very hard not to feel hopeless when you feel like there is no hope of competing with the many other job seekers out there. I found this article very inspirational. Thank you.
I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason. Think of this time as an opportunity. Take some time to find yourself again, then figure out what would make you happy. You may need to get further training or network to reach your goals. Don’t bother applying for job online — it goes into a black hole. Instead, find a professional or non-profit organization where you can donate your time and meet people. You are more likely to land the job of your dreams if people know you personally, know your work, and see that you are person who gives (not someone who just asks things of others). Take a little time each day or an entire day to so something you couldn’t do while working. Keep connected with others — seek out old friends and keep in touch with ex-colleagues. I was laid off in Feb. after doing the best work of my career and getting excellent reviews. I took advantage of the new-found time to take free online seminars in social media and familiarized myself with social networking sites and tools. It’s a skill that is in high demand now. I volunteered at the local AMA and met many great people and valuable contacts. The economy is coming back…after months of only freelance work, I’m finally getting calls from prospective employers and recruiters again. I can proudly say to them that since losing my job, I have grown and am now a more valuable person to hire.
I, too, was laid off in February of this year at the age of 51. I have learned that downsizing and budgeting is essential to the spirit. You don’t miss what you can’t have. I have learned to be greatful for what I have been given. My husband passed in December of 2008, and I have been searching my soul….learning to let go and let God really helps. Still unemployed, but, I know God will provide. Thank you for this site. It will help many people.
Thanks Nikki, Jessica, Harrison and everybody. Do you know that there are more women in our age group out of work now than any time since the Great Depression? Harrison says everything happens for a reason. I don’t exactly agree. Speaking metaphysically, I personally think that sometimes things happen in a random way and aren’t about reward, punishment or even life lessons. That said, Harrison and all who have responded to my excerpt, are the kind of people who can derive meaning and purpose–even from the random bad stuff–and that is an amazing gift. Even if we are still in various stages of struggling towards meaning, the very act of wanting more puts forces into play in our lives that will carry us forward in the direction of our life purpose.
Wow Carol. At 52, having lost my home, moved out of state to find work (at the expense of leaving my 19 @ 22 year old daughters behind), working as a realtor in a housing market crash, I’ve found myself questioning “what’s it all about?” I’ve always believed we were all in control of our lives, that we create our lives. Now, I can’t help wonder if it is random or predestination. I wondered why God was so mad at me. I, too, have been out of work for 2 years, as has my husband. He’s finally working 2 part-time jobs at minimum wage, and glad to have it. We’re still in the survival mode, but very close to rebuilding our lives. I do feel that this is just a temporary setback, another chapter in the book of our lives that one day we’ll look back on and be so much more grateful for what we have and never, ever take anything for granted again.
As a person who has been unemployed for two years now, I am very interested in this topic. The responses thus far have inspired me, as have the ten keys …. The most important thing for me is keeping positive. Remembering that this is just a season, that good things always come in time. I am using this time to explore avenues of interest that I never had time for before. And at the age of 56 I refuse to settle for mediocrity. Fortunately my husband is still employed and we are making ends meet. From what i have been reading, many women are not so fortunate. Ever day I take time to be thankful. The list is truly endless when it comes to counting one’s blessings. Every day I take time to pray. There is a much bigger picture than what i see through my lens. Every day I do the tough, boring, un-exciting work of searching job sites, sending resumes, making phone calls, etc. Every day I look for at least one inspiring person or story to remind me that unemployement is not the final word….that is how I found this site. I subscribe to goodnews.com to counter the negative news that bombards us. I use affirmations to remind myself that I am a valuable, vibrant, intelligent, compassionate woman with a LOT to offer this world.
It definitely takes faith to put our resume when you’re not getting the responses you want. I love an old story about an Encyclopedia salesman, getting the door slammed in his face for the 90th time, walks away smiling. A passerby asks how he can possibly keep such an upbeat attitude. He says: I know I make one out of every 100 sales–so there’s only ten to go.
Thank you!
I thank God everyday that I am still healthy and employed. I only had a brief period of unemployment when the company I worked for moved to another area of the US and I did not want to move and leave my friends behind. I love the story of the Encyclopedia salesman. It hit home for me. I just started a new part-time business in Mary Kay because it is so different from what I do everyday, and the enthusiasm of all of the young ladies, to include us “more mature ladies”, is quite infectious. Part of the training is to recognize that not every skin care class you schedule will hold, and sharing the career opportunity with many women requires perserverance in order to add members to your team. The long and the short of it is you have to believe the next “yes” may be the next woman that you talk to, and step out of our comfort zones to make it happen. For all the women looking for jobs, please keep faith in yourselves and believe that the next resume you send or interview you have will lead to a “YES”.
Downsize and don’t look back on what was. Look at how much you have ahead of you. We once made ourselves into something most people never expected of us. WE did it! WE can do it now just differently. I had to downsize my house, and my job but if i had to do it again I would. Gone are the 16 hour days never leaving my desk. Enjoy the little things in life . They matter so much more anyway!
Exactly! You know, one of the reasons some of us have been panicked about not having enough money is that with the longevity bonus our generation can expect to have, there are so many years to come that we will need to fund. That said, if we do have thirty or forty years left, then we are young, indeed! We can “start over” all over again, but from many winds higher up on the learning spiral, knowing how much we have to offer and what really matters! Imagine having those first thirty years of our worklives back–but knowing what we know now! Except that we probably couldn’t work 16 hour days anymore (even if we wanted to) and should probably shy away from jobs that require heavy lifting, what an amazing time we can be having over the coming decades both in terms of work but more importantly, in terms of life! Let’s keep spreading the word!
Last night was one of those times when all I could do was remember to breath. (#2 of Carol’s to keys to saving the downsized soul).
I am struggling — divorced mother of 3 teens (thankfully, their dad is very involved), I’ve been looking for employment since April of 2009. The blessing of this unemployment came when my mother (74 yrs old) was diagnosed in early May with terminal lung cancer and I was able to care for her (in Virginia) until her death in July ’09. I wouldn’t have traded this experience for the best job in the world.
Of course, now I have to consider selling everything I own and look for a place to live that I can afford. I’m in southern California — would consider moving but I have to be near my children. My field is social services – I work as a therapist for children and adolescents – when I work. But with the global fiscal crisis and California’s particular fiscal issues — things are not looking great.
I’m very good at what I do but in a world of on-line applications where is the personal connection that would help an employer know me, as an individual?
I have over 150 applications filed floating around out there — soooooo frustrating.
So I am here – trying to stay “okay” with myself, not feel like a failure, know that there is something out there for me right around the corner — trying to believe — some days all you can do is remember to breathe.
Your children need to give you a salary, or encourage you to move. You are a skilled profesional with a caring career. You are needed someplace I feel it in my bones. You can Volunteer your Services, and perhaps find something close to your field…Good luck, and don’t cut the apron-srtings, just get some long ass apron-strings…
good luck Piper
Looking for a new job may be a full-time job in itself, but I’ve learned that it does not have to be a full-time life. I limit my searching for a job, completing applications and other related tasks to a certain portion of the day (and days of the week). Then other times are reserved for gardening, reading, grandchildren, and other activities — and I do it without feeling guilty!
Here’s my advice : Look at this “dreaded situation” as an opportunity for something positive. Although a a time of great change; you will get through it and come to realize your capabilities andwho really is your provider. This is an opportunity to get back intouch with yourself and what is most important in your life and time to utilize your most creative self. You will be surprised at how much surplus surrunds you and you will come up with some creative ways to get you through the hard times. NETWORK , ESPECIALLY THROUGH SERVICE ACTIVITIES TO OTHERS EVEN LESS FORTUNATE…you will fell lots better. And know that as long as you have your health and are loved ; you have everything. It all does fall into place and life becomes more balanced after you get through the crises. Honestly, it is an opportunity to accept this ” non wanted time out ” as a gift for a new beginning only to emerge as stronger , wiser and transformed. THIS IS A CHANCE TO KNOW YOUR RESILIENCY, THROUGH YOUR VUNERABILITY , RISK TAKING , FAILURES, CHALLANGES, MASTERY AND EXPERIMENTATION. fIRST AND FOREMOST EMBRACE IT …YOU WILL BE SUPRIZED AT YOUR UNIQUENESS AND ABILITY.
Wow, what a remarkable group of women! I’m 52 and lost my 13 year career in February 2009. I went through all the emotions – anger, depression, et.al.; but finally I stepped up and TOOK CHARGE. I researched and found that the only field hiring was healthcare and applied at our local hospital. The only openings available was in housekeeping, 2nd shift, so I had to prove to HR that while I was OVER QUALIFIED, I was willing to work. Got hired on April 2. At the end of May, discovered another opportunity in the Information Systems department and applied for the position. I know the only reason they agreed to interview me was my willingness to do something that most women my age and education background WOULD NOT DO – clean toilets. As of September 3rd, I’ve been working 2nd shift as a PC/Networking technician…..
Lesson learned – Prove that you’re willing to work.
Never underestimate the power of networking!
I never really appreciated that advice in the past until I realized I was instrumental in helping a number of women I knew obtain their job, as well as, hiriing them myslelf when I had a vacancy and found out they were job hunting.
Make a list of everyone you know–friends, neighbors, past bosses and co-workers, etc. and let them know you are in the market for a new job. The one you land may not be the perfect job you are looking for at this moment, but it could be the stepping stone to something even more rewarding.
Keep the faith. More and more employers are coming full circle to value employees for their years of experience and maturity that they can bring to a work setting.
Hi…how amazing that this site was send to me…I’m a 52 year old mother and grandma that is been looking for a full-time job for the last two years and cannot find it. I cannot compete with the younger generation, although I never thought it will happen to me. I was so much in control of my future…I was invincible…Now I have 2 part-time jobs in a school..Yes, me. The “Title Specialist” that earned so much money….I am a Teachers Aide and after care counselor…Uff… is hard to work with Kindergarten….yes it is….but you know….I love them…and I know this “jewels” are in my hands and is my responsibility to take care of them properly and with love…Who would it thought that I, yes I…will be working for minimum wage, try to overcome my own physical pain (3 herniated disks) and take care of my family (including my 2 grandkids- 5 & 9) and handle teachers, kids and parents the way I’m handling it. On my first year I was nominated for employee of the year and this one I think I’ll win….:)
I’m still looking for that full-time…I’m still looking and asking…”what is my passion”??? and how can I make it in something lucrative…I’m still searching for answers and don’t giving up on my quest of been a “wonder woman” again….:)
Hi Lizzita and everybody, I’m deeply moved by your stories. We are certainly a resilient bunch…a candidate of employee of the year! Wow. I’m reminded of what John Lennon once said: Life is what happens to you while you’re making other plans. When it comes right down to it, we deal with what we must–and always have one choice to make: whether we’re going to go through it in a good or bad mood. Ultimately, going through things in the best possible mood is exactly what provides the greatest potential and opportunity for good things to come to us. Not that we MAKE the good things happen–but we can certainly create the most receptive environment FOR good things to happen to us–often when we are least expecting them. And meanwhile, as lgbberg said (in this comment string) find things that give you joy. You are all exemplifying this potential for choosing spirit over fear simply by reaching out to the VibrantNation community with your stories, wisdom and strength. Thanks all for sharing.
First of all I want to Thank God for directing me to VN and having the opportunity to read these 10 Keys. Thank you for sharing this will all of us. WE all are very Blessed to have an opportunity to become family and support each other and share our concerns and dreams.
I also have taken a huge cut in pay but still am grateful that I still have my job but it is Not making ends meet. I have just had to make the decision myself to get out of my comfort zone and now am doing my own part time business and Thank God it is giving me the opportunity to not only make some extra money but at the same time I am getting my Health back. I know now that I have found the perfect opportunity to get healthy and get extra money at the same time. It is like finding the winning Lotto ticket and wanting to have other people help me scratch off the numbers and share it with them. So really if anyone is interest in knowing what is helping me to be able to continue to pay my rent and bills, just sent me a message and I will be happy to share with you.
In the meantime let us all remember that Sisterhood is a True Blessing and that I know we are all going to find life long friends through VN. I am very excited to have been Blessed to have been directed to this site and thank you to the wonderful person for starting this site.
God Bless you all…
Thanks, Marsha. It’s truly amazing how much like family on-line communication with “women like us” can be. By the way, you handle your business opportunity very gracefully, inviting rather than selling. That is such an engaging and authentic way to market!
I also want to thank God that I found this site… it is SO encouraging to have women my age struggling with the same things… and seeing that they are handling things one by one… and surviving!
I have read the book you recommended, Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway years ago, and continue to read motivational books… I find that helps keep me on the right path, especially when I am feeling down or discouraged.
I have been struggling of late, not due to a job loss, but because the downturn in the economy has caused everyone so much more stress. The last time we had a severe downturn (in 1991) I left a high paying job due to a personal tragedy, and struggled to find another job that was willing to hire me. I finally took a six month temporary postion at a non-profit agency, simply to get my foot in the door, and it was challenging… working harder for less money. However, that job led me to meet some of my closest and dearest friends, so I applaud ALL of you who are doing whatever it takes to make ends meet! Keep the faith, dear friends… and know that this too will pass!
While working there, I also took a part-time job in retail to help pay for our daughter’s college, and with the holidays coming, that is another opportunity for any of you to earn some additional cash.
Bless you all, and have a wonderful day!
Thank you Dr. Orsborn for your comment. I really believe in what is happening to me and how this is changing my life and I just wish that I could Shout it from the Mountain Top and get people to just TRUST ME and go to the Web Site and see it for themselves that this Also is a very wonderful Social Weight Loss/Fitness Community that Everyone can Sign Up for FREE and see all the Success Stories of how people are getting Healthy and Wealthy and bein supported just like VN does. WE all need support and encouragement. If anyone is interested in just seeing what it is all about I would like to invite you and everyone of my new VN sisters to take the time to go to the Web Site and check it out for themselves. http://www.irepcni.net/cnicore4you
Dr. Orsborn, I just want to thank you and tell you that I can already tell that God has Blessed us all with with the opportunity to get to know you better and be mentored by a wonderful woman. Thank you for all of your support and God Bless you my friend….
I would first set them down with a cup of tea and a piece of fresh cake or something. I would try for a few minutes to talk about anything but that. As conversation drifts back to the obvious I would remind them that there are only so many hours in a day. To sit down, make a plan and work that plan. Break it into reasonable chunks that you can manage each day. Take time to eat, to think and journal, to be with your family. Remember that being crabby helps no one, it only hurts everyone you come in contact with. I would maybe have found a journal, books on job hunting, a devo for encouragment. Then pray with them that they would be encouraged. I would call to check in every few days. If it is a woman, maybe offer to babysit, cook a carry in meal, take some laundry to do…Helo with change for parking meters, coupons for food forlunch when they are out and about and being careful of spending money. Done that==been there.
What I have learned is, you may not land on your feet but you CAN get up. Persaverance on the good days and do what you can on the bad ones. Talk to people, let them know what you are looking for, contact every temp agency, contact past work friends if you can find them. Networking is the only way, just keep going. Some days you wonder where the strength comes from but you’re glad you had it. Look everywhere! The one thing I have found is that after loosing my last job and going from a good income to making just over $6 and hour is you don’t have to stay there, keep working to get back up where you want to be! I’m still doing just that!!!!!!!
I heard a great recommendation: contact a company you’d like to work for and find out which temp agency they use; and if you can, who their contact is at the temp agency. Then call that person at the temp agency and tell them you’ve got particular interest in the company and will be high motivated to do great work while you’re on temp assignment…worth a try!
Wow, this is my first day on this site. I was laid off july of this year. There was a “reduction in force” at work. 50% of the employees got laid off. Of course the 2 in the office (my area) were 58 (me) and 74 (the recepionist). You just dont under stand corporates logic. the girl they kept didnt even know how to open and read an email. Yet me, who was older, could run circles around her on the computer. NO logic.
I have a home based business. thank goodness. and an affordable place to live. So, I have kicked my direct sales into gear. It is keeping me busy, and bring in some income. Since I was laid off, I have been able to increase my shows, and my downline. yeah.
But this is Scarry. 58 and out in the market again. with many colleges in my town. and many graduates. So, lets pray that this business takes off.
I’m sure this must have been scarry, because I am 58 also with a husband that is disabled
I do understand the corporate logic and agree with your opinion them What happened to work hard hang in there and you will be rewarded This is a very different thing I see now, but you live and you learn I am employed and things are going well, but I have been there and know what it feels like I am so glad I had stong parents that taught me not to give up, just keep on going with what you have Keep your head up and my best wishes for your new found business I can only pray that I keep my job and still worry if retirement for me will be at 62 as planned or will I be 75 and still working
first you pray, then you get off the pitty pot and get back out there,
I like the notion of bracketing pain/pitty, so that you don’t have to cut yourself off frrom grieving/righteous indignation, etc. prematurely–but can still operate in the real world. Buy a candle that represents the size of your upsetness, then agree with yourself to light it for a certain amount of time every day, i.e. a half hour. Then when it’s lit, feel all your feelings. At the end of the half hour, blow it out and get back to putting out your resumes, starting your business or whatever. It really works!
Whenever I want to give it up, I recite a favorite quote of Calvin Coolidge, and then I get on with it. I was downsized for the second time last October, and I’ve blogged a bit about the journey at: perlechampion.blogspot.com
Here’s the quote that keeps me going:
“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will
not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent.
Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will
not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and
determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan ‘press on’ has solved
and always will solve the problems of the human race.” – Calvin Coolidge.
Thank you all. I just read this entire conversation stream! I am facing a job loss at age 55. I am making the best money of my life, and looking at working for half or worse! The future is unknown – that’s the scarey part. You have all given me courage. What a gift.
I’m 51 and have been laid off since May of 2009. It is frustrating out here. I have probably sent out 200 resumes and filled out countless applications, sometimes spending 2 hours on one. Frustrated, I sent an email to a lady I had been applying to, that read:
In my day, we got dressed up professionally and went to a company, filled out an application and stood face to face with the person we were asking for a job. You were given the opportunity to plead your case right then and there and you knew before you left whether you had a chance or not. In today’s world, you put everything on paper and send it out into space via email and then sit back and wonder. I have been laid off for three months and in that time I would be afraid to count how many applications I have filled out and tests I have taken and sent them off into space with no response whatsoever.
I literally begged for a response and still did not receive one. My advice is that, if you are out there with a degree and any kind of ability to do so, you start a business to counsel all of us frustrated women. If you have a degree and any kind of ability to do, start a business to find us jobs. Not being able to “Present” yourself is for the birds!
I hear you! Maybe consider trying the sophisticated temping route I suggested in one of my earlier posts in this thread….it’s at least a way to get face-time with actual people who need help…
I was downsized in 2007 I worked for 23 years at a bank as a manager of the Lockbox Area. When I was laid off it felt like I was an old shoe that were thrown out after giving years of excellent service. I decided that this will not happen to me again. You must think self employment – with self employment you are marketing you and your skills. I worked hard for corporate sometime 24/7 so now I work hard and smart for myself. I schedule the time I work and I am in control of how much money I make. I do realize that self employment is not for everyone but if you would examine yourself you will find that you do have a gift you can market. Some people are good with children so there are options out there for you such as home daycare or tutoring. You might have a gift to work with the senior market – option: there are people out there who has older parents that need someone to sit with them. The list goes on and on. You have to look inside of yourself to find the you in you. You cannot accept defeat nor will you be a statistic. The WORD (1 Peter 4:9-11) says: Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully admnistering God’s grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ.
I have not given up I am starting over at 56 I paid my price and gave my all to corporate america with no regrets because i learned how to be a strong leader. Now I am using that knowledge in my home based business. If you are good with people and have a strong desire to help people who do not have Dental, Presciption, Vision, Chiropractic and Medical. They may have a health condition that will not allow them to qualify for insurance. Follow my link to: http://www.iboplus.com/luceal or http://www.apwebinar.com/luceal.
To God be The Glory
Live your life “One day at a time.” Do something each day to find employment and let go of the results. All you have control over is your effort. Sit quietly each morning, meditate and pray that you remember your worth is not wrapped up in what you do, but in who you are.
What a great social networking site this is!!! I just found VN on FB. Am 58yrs old, after working many years as an in-house corporate travel planner, well paid with benefits and lots of perks (private jet etc), the company was sold and my department perceived as “cream” and all 17 people were laid off. It has been 18 months of an incredible journey of discovery what I really want to be doing. Savings gone and no health insurance, I have finally come to the realization that I want to go for what I’m passionate about and I guess I can call myself the reluctant entrepreneur gone to enthusiastic living. The job loss for myself and the death of the 92yr old mother of my significant other broke a long term relationship with someone who also happens to be a psychologist and life coach. Through the past years, I also managed the life coaching business, assisted in securing trademark and copyrights, helped write a book and in the process and hindsight was so immersed in the passion for coaching that I have now decided to become certified myself and started Eco-Friendly 101, am in the process of securing the rights and now have a vision, mission and passion. Not making a penny with it yet, but would love to be able to brainstorm with a support group. I actually have known about this book for about a month now and even posted it on my FB – it spoke to me on so many levels. Did not buy it as my fear of finances had a good grip on my psyche……. I am more than happy to promote it on my site – gratis…
Thanks so much, Ecofriend! I can see why this book would resonate with you. These days, making use of one’s talents/passions seems to be the investment we need to make, trusting that the money will follow. It may not be the kind of money/perks we’ve made in the past, and we may have to rethink our lifestyles and sometimes make difficult choices, but I have to believe that the benefits of living a life of meaning compensates for the sacrifices. By the way, I don’t believe it should have to be like this. Why are the people who have the most to contribute to our society considered skimmable “cream.”!!! Anyway, Thanks for joining Vibrant Nation and again, please pass the word about the book and about VN.
Wow..thank you for ending up in my email! I am 54 and have been a working artist for many years. I actually made a living at if until my life and the economy shifted. Now I have downsized my business and do everything. Survival has taken place of my passions.
I wish I could write something profound for a friend..I know that I have been the cheerleader for so many people during these down times…even my own cheerleader.
Can I give another hope..when so many times I feel hopeless…can I give another love..when so many times I forget to love myself. Can I say the ache in your heart will slowly dissolve…when the pain in my heart seems insurmountable. Can I say you are extraordinary…when I feel ordinary. Can I say to them, have faith..all will be well…when I have so many times questioned my own?
All of these things and many more I have said to friends to help them when they are in those very places..scared..alone…no hope…confused. So, here we all are searching for a miracle..which some have found and others have lost faith in ever finding..while some still have a small gleam of hope.
So..even though our passions are dampened and we feel untalented…do we wait, wait for the passions the direction to surface..while we look for that next meal in our survival….or do we create the meaning and pretend that this step…and then this step..will take us to those passionate places that were once oh so familiar..
Reinventing yourself when you are derailed, is cleaning out the closet, without prior consent. What has been familiar and comfortable is gone and the challenge is to invite something new..albeit, so many times without form..into our lives. Finding what to put in the closet can be the biggest challenge…so many things to choose from..the fear of adding the wrong item…can be overwhelming..when the failures have been many.
You speak for so many–and to so many–with honesty, beauty and vulnerability. What a gift you have! From my doctoral sttudies in religion, I concluded one thing that has really stayed with me, in the darkest night. That is that it is the yearning for faith that in and of itself holds the faith for us when we othewise feel hopeless.
The other important thing is to speak your pain out loud to others, so that the others know that they, too, aren’t alone in this. As I said in my book, it’s not we who are broken–it’s the economy. We are all on unexplored territory together. We really don’t know how this is going to turn out for all of us…but we can make sure we keep strtiving to tend to our spirits at the deepest levels, as prophets, artists and visionaries have had to do through impossibly challenging times in the past.
I take comfort in the Sufi saying: “This, too, shall pass.”
Please continue to bring your truth to your/our/my community…
I just read something in the book I’ve been cherishing lately, “The Snow Leopard” By Peter Matthiewssen, that i find inpsiring. Peter has lost his wife, and embarks on a scientific trek through the Himalayan Mountains in search of answers. Along the way, he encounters an isolated Lama, whose legs no longer function. Peter asks him if he’s happy here. “And this holy man of great directness and simplicity, big white teeth shining, laughs out loud…Indicating his twisted legs without a trace of self-pity or bitterness, as if they belonhged to all of us, he casts his arms wide to the sky and the snow mountains, the high sun and dancing sheep, and cries, “Of course I am happy here! It’s wonderful! Especially when I have no choice!”
This thread has been so affirming, I knew that Baby Boomer women were taking it in the neck with the economic downturn, but it is as hidden as the tacit age discrimination that puts our resumes in the trash cans behind closed HR doors. Talent and experience cannot compete with the wages of younger people who (in my field of online gaming) can be burned out and used up for much less money. As has been said multiple times here, it is a case of reinventing oneself, and at 59 this was so unexpected. I am someone who grieves then gets on with it—but in losing my entire life in one fell swoop, including even my dog—it has been more challenging because I can’t seem to “get on with it” yet! This has been a time when my faith, my identity, my goals, and my abilities have all been challenged. I find myself questioning my personal philosophies and struggling to figure out what I am going to do with the rest of my life. I feel like a compass that has lost direction and is sometimes just spinning! I do the due diligence, networking, applying, calling, checking in, regardless. My siblings have been very supportive, but (being men) I don’t think they really appreciate the profound deconstruction this event has had on me. I have been shocked myself. I think the depth of it is what’s set me reeling. I always thought I was self-aware, but I didn’t see this coming! Perhaps, as much as the job loss, it is this point in my life, the age I have come to? The two events conjoining have created a tsunami that has washed my life away and begs the question, what next? Thanks everyone, especially Carol, for wisdom and helping me feel less alone.
I’ve been fighting the battle of actually being unemployed since April of this year. In reading the Ten Keys to Saving Your (downsized) Soul, 8. is factual, 9. is reality and 10. is Destiny. These are all things I knew, but needed to be reminded! Thank you for your words.
Wonderful insight. You’re welcome..and thank you!
Drink lots of water; grief, health, mental acuity and beauty are all aided by hydration taken lovingly!
I responded to this post a couple of months ago very frustrated. I was laid off from my job back in April of 2009. I went through the entire gammit of emotions, frustrations, and depressions. I was at a restaurant one day and started talking to a man there who had also lost his job. He was going to school and still getting his unemployment. I went to the unemployment office the next day and talked to them.
I am now a full time student working towards finishing a degree. I was eligible for pell grants to pay for the schooling and am still receiving full unemployment. I will be able to continue this status until I get my degree. While I am still unemployed, it was a step in a positive direction. Being back in school at 52 has been such a moral booster. It also puts you out in public and gets you out of the house and helps with that feeling of uselessness. I also know that with that degree, I have a much better shot at a job when I start looking again. I’m doing something positive and that’s always a good thing!