1. All you can hope to control, however long you have and in whatever the circumstances, is whether you will bring your best or worst to bear.
2. There are times when all you can do is remember to breathe.
3. It is the willingness to engage in the struggle for what really matters that merits God’s intervention—not how deserving you think you are, nor whether you manage to emerge unwounded.
4. Because our futures are open and free, many influences contribute to how our lives will unfold over time. Ironically, your ability to hope becomes one of those factors, carrying just enough weight to make the difference.
5. Not everything that happens is a message. Sometimes a rat is only a rat.
6. Embrace the possibility that many things are bound to get in your way. Success comes not in spite of the things that happen to you but because you have grown large enough to embrace it all.
7. It is in the void that the status quo has the lightest hold on us. Released from the constructs of our everyday life, we have the least to lose. In the void, we are freest to make changes.
8. The good news is that you don’t need an upbeat or even a brave attitude to make progress. You just need discipline, putting resumes out, making phone calls, following up leads and the like. This you can do happy or sad, anxious or full of faith.
9. It’s the economy that’s broken, not you.
10. When you give up the illusion of control, it’s true that you can’t always stop bad things from happening. But you can’t stop good things from happening, either.
Life gets sweeter, deeper, juicier! Keep squeezing. ;-D
1- Begin networking, both on-line (using Linkedin, Twitter and Facebook) along with face to face meetings with friends and colleagues. Networking should include people you have worked with in the past, people at your house of worship, or just about anyone that you have come in contact with. You never know where a conversation will lead you. Always follow up with an email or call after you have met with your contact. Always discuss various possibilities, not just the ones you think you are suited for.
2- Don’t spend your entire day in front of the computer looking at job sites. It will drive you crazy. Make time for yourself everyday to do fun things. ( a good rule of thumb for me was 4 hours searching and four hours to feed my soul)
3- Volunteer- it is good for the soul. It brings into perspective how less tragic your situation is from those who are most needy
4- Explore classes offered through the unemployment office. You may be able to find a new career via these offerings. If you are interested in starting your own business, you may be able to get free training there as well.
5- Surround yourself with positive people. Be sure to smile. Don’t wallow in your situation. You will find another job. Be open to all possibilities. Don’t immediately turn down possibilities because they seem to be low paying or less senior than you had hoped for. You can always move up. Being employed at any rate is better than the alternative.
6- Be sure your resume is up to date. If you haven’t interviewed in awhile or not sure what you are going to say about your layoff, practice in front of a mirror or with a friend. Be polished, be confident. You know your stuff!!
7- Attend job fairs and networking events. It is good to get out with people who are in similar situation. Just avoid pity parties. If the group is over anxious and downtrodden this will not help you stay positive.
8- Don’t let the bills pile up because you don’t have much money coming in. This will hurt your credit. If you are over your head in debt, call the credit card companies and let them know of your situation. If necessary, get some credit counseling and consolidate your balances. Better to be honest and deal with the financial situation then to become a late payer and ruin your credit.
9- Remember to exercise. Stress is not healthy and exercising will make you feel better. Watch the overeating or your suit won’t fit for the interviews!
10- Lastly and most importantly, smile everyday. No matter how difficult it is to find a job, no matter how many bills are coming your way, always take one day at a time and be sure you are taking care of your soul.
Good luck on becoming the new you and finding your next opportunity. It’s out there waiting for you.
When you’re in the void, you think you’re the only one there and that you’ll never emerge. But as many women on this site attest, in the end, you may well anticipate being put back together even better than before….Not necessarily more status or money, but something more meaningful!
To Carol and all who have shared here,
First a big and hearty thank you! I too have been uplifted, encouraged and blessed by this dialogue. I’m ordering the book today!
I’ve been an entrepreneur for the past 25 years, so I come from a somewhat different pespective on the topic. I’ve learned what it takes to sustain myself in business and in life; I’ve learned to roll with it. At least I thought I had. My challenge has been “what happens when the person who fired you is yourself? “In 2008, I feel like I “fired myself” so to speak. Though a real estate broker by trade, I felt the call to inspire and empower women, to write and speak just as the market was changing. I didn’t know the wheels would come off when I decided to make this transition. I thought it would be easy because I had years of experience at creating something. Even though the economy seriously impacted real estate, I felt it was really “me” who was changing and that the life I’d created no longer fit the woman I had become. I yearned for my “true north”.
Normally I would count myself as one who would still be able to earn a good living with real estate, despite the downturn. I always viewed myself as one of the few who would always thrive. But I could not find the passion or heart to do it, even though it would pay the bills. It was as though the very bone marrow had been siphoned from me. As much as I tried to go back to it, I couldn’t seem to muster up the strength and resolve to do it. The money dwindled. The money stoppped. Suffering commenced.
I wrote and wrote. I wrote my heart out, which has been one of the greatest balms of all for my soul. During this downtime I have turned over almost everything I believed and totally examined my life. I wanted to be able to firmly and resolutely say “this I believe” because I bore an inner witness with it, instead of it being knowledge or information that I simply accepted at face value. I gathered the stories of my life and connected the dots on how I became who I am today. I met the true essence of who I am on the page. It was a true gift. I learned to rely on God and not just my own effort. These treasures woudl not have been possible with the way I lived my life before. I came to the “pause” in my life where that inner work has to be done, even though I didn’t know exactly what to call it until author, Joan Anderson said all would be well after the pause; that I would become whole, climb the mountain and be able to help others to do the same. It was very encouraging.
I told myself that I would “rewrite/reright” my life and I sat about doing that, in the shelter of my home I love so much (that is undergoing it’s second loan modification as I write). It insulated me from all that was going on around me and allowed me to really dig in deep and take the inner journey. I thought about what I’d reallly like life to look like. How i’d like to spend my days. What is really important for the next 40 years. What have I outgrown. All these things had to be addressed. As well as my incompletes, the stuff that got swept under the rug, the things I needed to make right. going through this experience made me feel like life was turning upside down, but I came to realize that my life has finally been turned “right side up.”
In some ways, I’ve experienced the true dark night of the soul, and I wondered if I would ever feel normal again. But there is a new normal now as I’ve gone through this transformation. I’ve lived on barely a forth of my earnings for the past 31 months. I’ve watched my credit rating and financial realm crumble. It was hard enduring through it, knowing that I have the abililty to do better.
On the other hand, I feel I’ve found the acres of diamonds in my own back yard and now that I am sufficiently aware, awake and renewed, I can move forward to create that vision authentically, purposefully and energetically. Once again I will regain my financial footing. I will resume creating. The best days are ahead and not behind me. I will share my gifts with the world and be whole through and through. And it will have all been worth it. There is no journey like the inner journey!
This dialogue has helped me to know that many women are experiencing the same thing, from various vantage points and walks of life. Together we uplift, encourage and kindle the inate resiliency and resolve that all women have. We fan the flame within that is waiting to ignite and do a “new thing”!
It would be wonderful to have a gathering of women for a conference or retreat to continue along these lines. There is renewal and healing in the telling of our stories and sharing of our hearts. And in believing that something wonderful is right around the corner.
Sharmaine http://www.whenwomenawaken.com