It doesn’t matter if you start out as a size 0 or a size 20; your body is going to change in menopause. I’m quite sure that one night as I was sleeping, the PM&M* alien came and put my body in a blender and turned it on high—nothing is where it used to be. I think that alien also shrank all my clothes.
I gravitated towards the looser clothes in my wardrobe, wearing the same things over and over. The rest of my clothes got dusty. I tried every diet, but didn’t lose a pound until I got my thyroid checked and hormones balanced. However, I have great news: in the interim, there are three magic answers to this problem:
- The extra-large plastic garbage bag.
Go buy a box of the largest plastic garbage bags you can find. Fill up the bags with all those clothes that don’t fit anymore and get rid of all that dust. My days were so much more joyful when I wasn’t looking at those damn clothes every day. It was so liberating! The good news is that if you get your hormones balanced, you might be able to fit back into some of these things. So, save the bags in your storage closet or garage. In the meantime, I went out and bought a couple of pairs of pants that fit me. I didn’t care what the hell size they were. I needed to feel comfortable. I threw in a few loose tops and dresses, and I was a new shmirshky!** - Spanx.
Spanx are sold everywhere. You wear them under your clothes to smooth out your figure. Think of them as a reverse balloon. Instead of blowing out and filling up, you’re sucking in and smoothing down. They’re incredible! At first, I thought that the smaller the Spanx, the better I would look. No! Do not buy Spanx so small that you break out in a sweat just struggling to pull them up. If you do, you will have a huge spillover at the waist. Plus, you will not be fun to be with if you can’t breathe. In fact, you will be a bitch on wheels. Remember, you got rid of the clothes that cut off your circulation for a reason. - A seamstress.
If you have some special clothes that you can’t get yourself to put in the large garbage bag or fit into with Spanx, get out your sewing kit or find a seamstress. Once, when I needed to go to a black-tie party, not one of my long gowns fit me, even with the “extra hold” Spanx. I sent out an SOS to a dear friend of mine for a recommendation of a good seamstress. I’d never met this seamstress before, but she immediately understood and fixed the dress for me. The Sisterhood to the rescue!
*PM&M: perimenopause and menopause
**shmirshky: vagina, woman
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I love anything and everything related to food (growing food, eating food, learning about food)....I think you would LOVE my sister's book (1st place winner of 2012 Gourmand Magazine award in the Fund Raising, Charity and Community division for a USA
If you keep rereading the last chapter, you will never get to the next one..get on with your life.
Do not hide your light so that others won't feel insecure around you. And as you let your light shine, you unconsciously give others the right to do the same.
Organic coconut oil. I was introduced to it by a VN sister a while back. It makes my skin SO smooth and it is great for my thick, curly hair! It has a hundred uses (just look it up online) and it costs so little.
This is so happening to me!!! I wish more than ever I was able to get those 20+ extra pounds off before the is happened….now I not only have the 20+, but 10 more mysteriously appeared! Ok, I know how some of those appeared, but suddenly I feel like a balloon…I have actually done what you recommended with the tight close in my closet. I am also upping my exercise, and cutting out snacks, especially high salt items that make me bloat. I still love to eat, but am trying the five or six small meals a day, and definitely nothing after dinner! Here’s to hoping it all helps me!!=]
I’m in that menopause boat. I’ve beendoing a lot of reading about nutrtion and fitness. What I’ve gathered is it takes a little of everything to be successful with losing weight and keeping it off. I’ve found that I definitely need more activity, calorie counting, plus I have a few health problems that are dictating change in my lifestyle permanent changes for good health. I don’t do sick very well and don’t like feeling that I’m at the mercy of a run-away appetites. I’m taking control right here and right now!
I did all of the above, but paradoxically on account of my slimming down into my perimenopause. If I may share, I realized that good choices and exercise were great, but not enough to scare off the PM&M alien (good one Ellen – lol!). The deprivation undergone during dieting was just slowing down my metabolism and sending my mood into the basement – enter nutrient-dense food and gentle full-body cleansing as a sustainable and permanent lifestyle. The alteration expense had a great value quotient associated with it … and that was over 3 years ago …
What cleansing system did you use? I am concerned about intestinal cramping.
ve tried cleansing to and got reaaly bad cramps! Lorri what do you use and do you cramp?
OH, I SWEAR I CAN TELL THAT EVERYONE POINTS AND SAYS, “LOOK AT THAT, JUST ANOTHER ONE THAT HAS THE SPPPPPPPPPPREAD!” I ENDED UP MESSING UP MY METABOLISM ROYALLY, BY SKIPPING MEALS, ETC. I WASN’T HUNGRY, AND SO AFRAID OF GAINING WEIGHT. HERE I AM FEELING LESS ATTRACTIVE THAN EVER, AND TRYING TO EAT FREQUENT SMALL MEALS…THE BATTLE IS ON. MAY I ADD: MY MOTHER IS A ‘HUGE’ SIZE 4? ARRRRGGGGG!
I can not tell you how liberating and cleansing it is to go through all my cloths and finally part with the “I know I’ll fit into these again one day” cloths. I’m selling my home sometime this year and after 20 years of never throwing out (almost) anything….You can only imagine what I have. Just in my drawers alone this past week, I’ve filled 2 large garbage bags and I have not even started in the closet. I can not believe how wonderful it feels to not have anything hanging around that will put a negative in my head ….AGAIN. i.e. “that won’t fit” ….”someday, maybe” “if only”…..I’m DONE with that mentality.
Think about it…if you are me and noticed what I have…..I wear and wash the same outfits, jeans, t’s, etc…..every week. What the heck am I doing holding onto the others….l’ll let someone else enjoy them…and further more since I’m moving from a 4 bedroom home into a tiny (yes…that’s all I need and want) 1 bedroom or I’m even considering a single apartment, I won’t be able to take it all….and I don’t need it all>>>>>I keep saying this over and over to myself as I pick up each item and ask myself….will this fit into an apartment? I am not allowing myself to rent a storage either. I’m sucking it up and truly know LESS is MORE.
I am really having a problem accepting the fact that I’m fat for the rest of my life. Strenuous exercise + diet didn’t work for me: still a fatty. One that was physically fit, but still a fattie. Went to a endo, no thyroid problem, but high fasting blood sugar. maybe THATS what is keeping me from losing weight. Maybe I should just accept the fact that I’m going to be fat…. and the wheel turns.
I need to lose 40 lbs, and frankly that’s really not a lot. It’s enough though. The reason I hate it so much is I am an equestrian and riding while fat = not pretty. You can still be a good rider, but for me, I was a better rider when I was thin. Weight & balance and all that.
never mind…. just me bitching and moaning.
I ride also and the extra weight just does havoc with your balance – my mobility is awful now! I can’t believe it’s me when I look in the mirror. Soooo frustrating!
malaarkey….try to pause for a second and have some compassion for yourself. Have you read Geneen Roth’s book Women Food and God? Her message is beautiful….ultimately we need to stop beating ourselves up before we can feel empowered at all. So try a little tenderness with yourself: know that you are beautiful exactly as you are, that your body is a fantastic miracle that takes good care of your spirit….appreciate all that your body does for you and you’ll be on your way to a great relationship with yourself. It’s really not about the number on the scale or the cleansing or the products, it’s about you and you. I wish you only the best for 2011 because that is exactly what you deserve!
I love it! I, too, woke up two years after my hysterectomy to find that they must have accidentally left the PM&M alien in there when they took out everything else. And now it’s out! I have put on 15 lbs since then. I tried the not eating but that didn’t work. Now, I eat 5 small meals a day, exercise and even though the pounds aren’t coming off yet (who know if they will) I feel so much better and happier. The clothes are coming out of the closet this weekend.
Thanks for making my day!
If the clothes are in really good condition, you could make some money by selling them on eBay. I’ve been turning my excess good condition clothes into dollars. It’s work, but fun too.
Maybe some could be donated to a women’s shelter.
How do you start on EBAY and not get taken? Do you give them a percentage? Or what does it cost you? I have a lot in my closet.
Huh, I had a partial hysterectomy a year and a half ago and couldn’t figure out why my waistline was blooming like a muffin top. Wasn’t eating more than usual. Add in inexplicable lethargy to the mix and now I just keep increasing pants size. Thanks for solving my mystery!
Oh is THAT what it was, I just figured the humidity level in my closet shrunk some of my clothes LOL. Thanks for the good advice.
Your 3 magic solutions sound realistic to me.
Directly after my complete hysterectomy, I gained 40 pounds. 40! What a shock, as I’d always been an average-to-slender weight. Thanks for your ideas.
BTW, that “piggie” cookie jar on my photo spot is empty … and reminding me every day not to eat cookies or other foods in the same category.
I went through my closet last year and gave away every single thing that I don’t love, doesn’t fit, doesn’t look good, and doesn’t feel good to wear. I gave away 14 huge bags of clothes to a women’s shelter and feel fabulous about it. I have been unable to lose weight, so have started working vigorously in my yard instead of guilt-tripping my grown son-who-owes-me-money into helping me. I have only so much energy and feel that my time is better spent improving my environment than watching Oprah while sweating on a stairstepper at a gym with a bunch of 20 somethings. Being outside has somehow made me less inclined to come in and eat cookies or other fattening stuff. I find myself reaching instead for a glass of water and a piece of fruit. It seems to be good for the soul as well and my dog is enjoying watching me work. If I don’t lose weight, at least my backyard will be pretty.
In addition to a hysterectomy at 50 and breast cancer a few years later, my body is the PM&M Alien. It is foreign to me! I was fortunate to only have a lumpectomy (3″ X 3″ X 2″) off one side – I feel like a sailboat learning to starboard. Your column is right on time. I have been struggling with tossing stuff out but just needed the push. One of our churches is opening up a clothes closet – there goes some of those clothes. Our youth are having a yard sale to raise money for summer camp – there goes some more. Look out!
I went through this about three years ago, while I was still doing pilates and strength training. It IS all about the metabolism and the need to keep the body working as if the hormonal balance was not so out of whack. So someone introduced me to MaturEnergy and (for the 18 months I have been on it) I have lost body fat (from 38% down to 18%) and inches, particularly in the waistline and the menopudge abdomen. The product is by Youth Addict (YOU CAN FIND THEM ONLINE) and I have to admit that with my love of evening cocktails and food made with butter, the two pills a day have been the extra umph my exercise program needed to allow me to enjoy my vices without guilt. My wardrobe has stayed intact and the aliens kept at bay.
I looked up the Maturenergy product and wrote to the company for a list of ingredients. They said in “ It includes a blend of DHEA and Adrenosterone which combined provide elevated energy and aid in effective body recompostioning, mainly in the mid-section, which most post-menopausal women find the most challenging area to tone” So I looked up Adrenosterone and was a little scared at the results, it being a steroid that is used by men who are body builders. No one was sure about the effects on women, one person said it breaks down to cortisol which can cause joint soreness. I already have Rheumatoid arthritis (controlled with an injection of Enbrel) Plus I take synthroid for underactive thyroid since I was 17, and Lithium which I have been on and off for 30 years. This is what causes most of my weight gain, I believe although I am about 25 pounds heavier than I would like to be, I have some trepidation about adding MaturEnergy. What do you think? I exercise daily, walk, swim, yoga, garden (heavily) etc.
Did you get a response to your question? would like to know too!
With those ingredients, talk to your doctor or pharmacist first!!! Steroids are nothing to fool around with!!!
I apologize for taking so long to respond to your comment. But in answer to your concerns it is my understanding that although the product does contain adrenosterone there are only 12.5 mg per daily dosage, and the purpose of this is to inhibit the production of cortisol. The amount body building men (and some women) take is upwards of 150 mg per day. Such amounts actually increase the production of testerone in humans. In simplistic terms, the presence of DHEA is to facilitate an offset of the 12.5 mg of andrenosterone by facilitating production of estrogen. The DHEA also promotes bone health as well as youthful levels of hormones. I have been using the product for over 18 months, and although I do not have your medical concerns, I can say that I have maintained a weight and waistline for more than a year while still having bouts of eating binges.The product is not an overnight remedy. It took me 3 months or so after beginning the regimen to get where I wanted to be in exercising levels and weight management. I agree with the comment below that you should consult your doctor, but my doctor told me not to consider DHEA because it was still ‘unproven’ and this was after we discussed the studies that I took with me. But I feel safer and better with DHEA than the HRTs that were being offered. Hope this helps some.
Why is Youth Addict discontinuing Maturenergy? It’s on sale for 19.95USD right now on their site. Thanks!
Thank you for the information. It is nice to know about some of the side effects. I took something years ago that can be purchased at GNC that is similar for mens body builder and I did lose weight and had more energy, but I do think I will try this one that acshelton mentioned.
Has anyone else tried this one since March and had any good results?
Have you checked with your doctor to make sure this is a safe product? I worry about some of these herbal or vitamin products, especially since I take meds of other issues.
I have had a good laugh with this post, since it sounds like my life. After my hysterectomy I gained 35 pounds. It was my dermatologist that said try eating a piece of fruit (does not have to be big, just about 1 cup) before each meal.
Without exercise, I have lost 16 pounds in 4 mos. Wish I had this trick earlier.
Hopefully this never-ending rain (It seems like it has been raining for a year!!) will end this spring and I can start up the exercise again.
Oh, and I do need to clear out the colsets too, but I am planning to have a number of small yard sales all spring/summer/fall. Maybe buy some new clothes with the cash, but a lot fewer for sure!
Thanks ladies.
what kind of fruit do you usually eat? I know apples are great for extra fiber and they fill me up. Anything special that seems to work best?
Is it ANY kind of fruit? Does not have to be grapefruit?
I went through menopause more than ten years ago, initially did pudge up a little, then eliminated wheat and related products and dairy. Also started yoga and dance. No problems at all with the pudge issue now, and I feel better than ever in my life and eat whatever I want. Even include a bit of dairy now and then but no wheat. Made all the difference. I do try to focus on nutrient dense foods and I’m very physical in my life, which helps.
I thought wheat is suppose to be the “good thing” for us. Sounds like in your case it is the opposite. So what about wheat?
Wow E. If it weren’t for the part about Spanx I would think I’d written this in my sleep! All great advice! The part about Spanx is great advice too – but with my hysterectomy scar tissue I just can’t use them – I try and try – but they bring on violent heartburn and indigestion – and then I AM the bitch on wheels. We need great solutions like these – and some of us need even more than the average woman!
Oh isn’t this the truth. I have found the tailor ing really works. I take stuff in all the time to get lifted or fitted or tucked in or out. i think as we cahnge shape it is eevn more important that clothes fit correctly.
May I suggest that we consider donating those green garbage bags to http://www.urbanpossibilities.org.
Urban Possibilities is LA based and they are looking for donations of freshly cleaned business clothes for women in transition. My LA 50+women’s group,BTW, has supported them for 3 years now.
I once urged our members to donate by making them all admit they were post menopause and had at least 1 suit in their closet they knew they would not fit into again…it worked. Turn that menopudge into a way to help someone who isn’t there yet and needs a lift.
It is so nice to have a place where I’m not the only one talking about this! I have been dieting for the past 4 months and have lost 7 pounds. I have been so frustrated. So keeping in mind that is the menopause, I’m adding exercise to my day and I can feel the difference.
It was about this time last year that I was going to the gym (lost job-lost gym membership!) and was looking good. It’s much harder now. And it is the muffin top that bothers me the most…ok, that and the saggy neck and is it my imagination or is my NOSE GETTING BIGGER??? LOL
On the other hand, I feel different emotionally. I love me!
I’m 53 & decided THIS is gonna be MY year to lose those 40 or so extra pounds. So I started walking 15 min/day (on the lonely treadmill in my spidery basement) as many days a wk I could comfortably. I got up to 30 min/day and added 30 min on the stationary bike too and have lost 13 lbs and about 7 inches so far! But pain has stopped my efforts and I’m really frustrated! Lumbar disc problems and bursitis (thanks to 30 yr career as a nurse) in one hip are keeping my aerobic activity at zero! BUT…still trying to mantain a healthy food intake, watching my portions, and haunting the internet to educate myself. I also have arthritis and can’t afford the gym with the pool to make my efforts low-impact. I am trying to not worry about how many lbs in how much time…just trying to change my bad dietary habits and keep moving as much as I can! THAT is what works! Do what you can do every day! My icky muffin top seems a little smaller and my saggy neck means there’s less fat there than there was before! Hang in there…and keep on loving yourself AND your efforts to change your life!
Go out and buy Charla Krupp’s new book HOW TO NEVER LOOK FAT AGAIN, over 1,000 ways to look thinner without dieting by Springboard Press. I helped Charla write this book and as the former beauty and fashion director of MORE magazine ( 1998 to 2008 ) I can tell you it’s a must-read for every woman over 50. You’ll find hundreds of new ideas and strategies besides good old Spanx ( which of course are in the book too- how could we not include shapewear ? ).
I am so on that book! Thanks for the recommendation. I hope that it includes recommendations for those of us that are on the bustier side… and the larger booty too. You know it is unfortunate that when I had a nice butt, on the larger side, they weren’t in. Now that it is going flat, nice booty is in….geez…….
Thanks for the tip; I wouldn’t mind getting that book.
Take care,
Catherine
Oh my gosh, I feel so good not to be alone with this. I will be married 49 years come July, and I have gained a pound for each year. LOL LOL I have been up & down with weight so many times, that now at my age (you can guess that), I have decided if I am fat, then so be it. I eat really healthily, and I am trying to get in some exercise. My family and hubby love me and that is what matters the most. Keep up these great discussions, just love them.
I can see a lot of members relate to this post — me, too! Overnight, I went from being a very trim size 4 to a post-menopausal pudge who gained 20 pounds, all in her stomach (where it never was before). I am exercising more and eating better but to be honest, I never have eaten a lot and don’t even like sugared foods. I trained for a MARATHON five years ago and didn’t lose a pound, although I was better toned.
I’m trying to strike a balance between accepting the fact my body has changed forever, and doing what I can. I frankly think life is too short to never have a glass of wine again or (sorry) to wear Spanx. I mean, the reason I love living in the tropics is that I don’t even have to wear pantyhose.
Like the clothes suggestions and have been doing some of that. I gave two of my loveliest velvet skirts to an 8-year-old at church and told her she could use them for “dress up.” She loves them and it makes me happy to see her wearing them.
This story was ME alright!!! Clothes don’t fit around the middle anymore. Yep- I have taken up regular walking, eating better, etc. I still can’t fit into clothes with a waist, but at least I am happy and healthy. Since I live at the beach, I am lucky in that loose fitting, casual clothes really work down here. Thanks for the article!!!!!
well I’ve been thinking about trying to diet agains, but all these responses have convinced me not to bother. Now where did I hide those cookies? LOL But the responses did inspire me to get active! And that’s more important I think. Thanks for a good article. I’m going to go take off these jeans that are digging into my tummy.
Done, done & done!
Now I have a question…
If they can make a baby snuggly as flexible to use/need as every baby’s breath- why can’t they design meo-peri clothes for the constant temp. flux in our bodies- I wera layers and strip down / layer up agin so often I put a runway model to shame!
All my life I never had to watch my weight. In fact I had to really eat to keep myself at 97 pounds, which is what I weighed when I graduated high school over 45 years ago. Neither my parents nor my grandparents were ever overweight. My mother weighed 100 pounds when I was born and my grandmother was small too. My father and my grandfather were lean and wiry.
Then when menopause hit….BAM!! the pounds just kept adding up and up and up. Now that I really need to lose about 50 pounds, nothing I’ve tried works. I’ve had everything checked out, thyroid…you name it. Everything is normal. The weight just won’t come off. Guess I’m destined to be fat. Sigh…….. Most of it is in my stomach and waist…..
That should be waist not waste……
I agree with every thing. I’m 58 no problems with Menopause as sweats, swelling, panic…nothing but a beer belly that I can’t get rid of. I don’t even drink beer. The period just stopped one day no hot flashes but one pound at a time right to the belly. PLEASE HELP
I am an “apple” so I gain weight on top and the middle, a very low carb diet has always helped me.
I am loving your approach to the menapausal bliss. There is such a transistion at this time of our lives. Approaching the process with humor and adjusting but still keeping your self feeling foxy and lovable is possible. Have fun with choosing and adding to your wardrobe ,add a cool hair cut, and make up suited for your changing skin, and mama you will look sweet and feel great.
Wanda Hamilton50
I am 62 and gained weight after an accident many years ago. Then was able to loose to 163. But after I actually hit the menapause hormone level thing it has been a constant battle. Just about to accept the belly fat and forget about loosing. Trying a new thing “dessert bloom” liquid amino acid, vitimans etc. Product made in Texas so far in two weeks lost 4 lbs. But most of the benifit has been just feeling better!
Also really hate the belly fat thing going on. Getting old sucks but the alternative is even worse LOL
If any of you have gently used business clothes (they must be clean), please donate them to Dress For Success (http://www.dressforsuccess.org to find a location near you). We provide interview and job clothing, along with interview & career coaching to underpriviledged women. Thank you!
hey there Ellen… a big thanks!!
I am sitting here reading through everyones responses to your 3 magic solutions… I had a complete hysterectomy 10 years ago, plus in the last 10 years I have had 6 surgeries for reoccuring Endometriosis, with my last surgery in Dec. 2009, being a very aggressive Robotic surgery, as the Endometriosis was wrapped around my colon, in my bladder, abdominal and on parts of the intestines. I have added a good 20 + lbs. throughout all of this.
I laughed my butt off reading your article. It is good to find humor in our bodies, instead of doom and gloom. I will look at things in a much brighter sense now. … dee
LOL!!!! i thought when you said PM&M you were talking about peanut m&m’s! My personal favorite!
OMG, now that is funny…Yep, those help the old waistline too:)
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Dearest all of you,
Wow…so many LC’s (loving comments)!
PM&M does slow down the metabolism, therefore, it makes sense that we need to try to eat healthy and keep our fingers out of those cute “piggy” cookie jars. Instead – take out those cookies and add some water and flowers! What a cute vase. Shmirshkies love to recycle things.
The more we focus on the positive things in our lives – the more positive we become. These LC’s are busting with great suggestions (yoga, walking, gardening, dancing, and helping others just to name a few) to help make our days more positive – thank you.
Garbage bag sales have been surging! Have you felt it? Those too tight, dusty clothes are on the move to shelters, churches, and organizations that give women in transition a boost! How liberating and loving.
These comments are philanthropy of the brain. No one gets a tax deduction but you get a tremendous boost of caring, support and love. Let’s keep sharing and helping each other.
Go Shmirshkies GO!!!! Keep donating those thoughts and clothes!!
Remember: Reaching out is IN! Suffering in Silence is OUT!!!
Hugs,
E