We don’t have to look very far to find things that are remarkable. Just turn on the news. There is remarkable pain and suffering and things that are hard to understand all around us.
It’s not always so easy to find things that are remarkably inspiring. This post is about someone who is remarkable and inspiring: my grandmother. Her name is Myrtle but everyone who loves her calls her Myrt or Granmyrt. She is remarkably loving, remarkably smart and, now, very happily, remarkably old. She turned 90 not long ago and I’d like to use my little corner of the web to celebrate the lessons she has taught me about how to be remarkable.
Never Hesitate to Give Away A Cabbage
Granmyrt was born in 1919 and lost her dad to a logging accident when she was eleven years old. Her mother, Belle, was left alone to raise five children at the beginning of The Great Depression. They struggled to survive in ways that we can’t imagine with a laptop in one hand and a cell phone in the other. But one thing they always had was a vegetable garden. A little cornmeal, some peas and a head of cabbage made a supper on many a night. They lived near a train track and it was not uncommon for a hopeless man to notice their garden from those tracks. Belle never turned anyone away who was hungry and she would always give a cabbage to someone who needed it, even if Belle didn’t know what her own family would eat later that week. My grandmother told me how she hated having to work in that garden but she was always glad they had something to give away. Most people now think of a cabbage as something of little value. It makes me wonder what we might be overlooking that could offer sustenance to others around us, even if tending the garden is hard work.
Play First, Then Chores
When my grandmother was a school girl, she loved playing basketball. She preceded any notions of competitive teams for girls but she was part of a pick-up game many days after school. She would play as hard and as long as she could before running home just in the nick of time to get her chores done. Her sister would nag her that she should be getting her chores done right away, but Granmyrt knew it was important to play when you could. Chores would always be there.
Would It Hurt Me? Would It Hurt Someone Else? Would I Be Embarrassed To Tell My Grandmother?
That’s the moral code she taught me. She trained me to ask myself those questions whenever a situation made me uncomfortable. I think she started branding those questions into my brain when I was about fifteen. There’s no telling how many bad decisions I avoided by knowing that someone loved me unconditionally and cared enough to give me a ritual for making healthy choices. Fortunately, she doesn’t embarrass easily.
Grief Won’t Kill You
Chances are, someone you love has died. Maybe the grief seems overwhelming. I lost my mom when I was 21 and my grandmother was a key person who helped make that bearable. What astounds me still is watching her lose so many people over the second half of her life – her husband, her mother, her siblings, her co-workers, and nearly every single friend she ever had. That part of getting very old is impossible to imagine. She has grieved and survived. She talks about those who are gone and keeps the memories of them alive. She laughs when she tells stories about them. She never seems to lapse into pain. She has grieved in extremely positive ways and has taught me to do the same.
Pray Hard and Believe Harder
If you ever need someone to pray for you, my grandmother seems to have a direct line to God. I’ve never seen anyone pray with such sincerity or intensity as she does. When she prays for you, you KNOW you have been prayed for. But what I have really noticed is that after she prays, she BELIEVES. She believes that God is always listening. She believes in her prayers and she believes in the power of God to heal, protect and provide. When she says “Amen,” it’s as good as done. Because that is how she believes.
Would you like to borrow Granmyrt? Everyone who meets her does.
I’d love to hear your stories of how an older person in your life has shown you how to be remarkable, too.
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When I read this post, I think to mys
Thanks for sharing. Grandmothers are such amazing people. I lost my gran about 12 years ago and still miss her so much. I remember when I was younger she taught me a very simple but valuable lesson.
She told me never waste a trip. It didnt mean a lot to me then but I have grown I realised her wisdom. It kept my house tidy. Whenever heading up the bedroom end of the house I would look for everything that needed to go that direction.
I raised my sons with this same wisdom and was tickled to death the other day to hear my grandson say to his sister, “remember Maggie never waste a trip” as he handed her, her toy to put away as she went to her room.
So encouraging to see Grans wisdome passing down to the third generation.
“never waste a trip” – that’s a great one!
Hello,
I Love to here story’s like that. That makes my Day. Your Granmyr is great.
DiAnn
Thanks, DiAnn – I just talked with her on the phone this morning. That and your comment made my day!
My mission in life is to be that “nana” to my 20 month old grandbaby.
What a wonderful mission!
Laurie, you are so fortunate to have grown up with a grandmother & even more so to still have her in your life. I never new my grandparents & have always envied people who did. I finally have my first (step) granddaughter & hope to be a wise grandma to her.
Thanks, Irish Rose. I do feel fortunate. Your granddaughter will, too.
This lovely story reminds me of my grandmother. She was always exclaiming what a miracle things were. She always saw the silver lining. I went to visit her when she was about 87 – When she opened the door she said “‘I’m so excited to see you, I have another miracle tell you about! The Lord in his infinite wisdom has made me an artist, and at my age!” She then proudly showed me her “work of art”. She had fallen asleep after putting a pan on the stove – the pan got so hot it melted into a strangely abstract shape! She then thanked the Lord that my Uncle Bill was there so she didn’t sleep too long and nothing burned down! Instead of being worried and upset with herself, she was just plain excited about the miracle!
Pamela, great story! Thank you.
I love this post. Thank you, in our fast moving society, and with families that are separated by both geography and temeperments, Grandparents are getting forgotten.
My grandmother, Nana, taught me many things, in fact, I have kept a journal of her sayings. Like,” when you do something for someone,do it, and forget about it. But, when someone else does something for you, never forget about it. “
My Grandfather, Papa, was also a large force in my life.
I am first generation Italian- American. Grandparents were an integral part of our family. They established many of our values, like integrity, decency, honesty, compassion and perseverance.
I am presently putting together my memoirs, of which they are a huge part.
I just wanted to thank you for getting your thoughts out there. In fact, an idea for a book, might be to compile memories of grandparents from different people. Is that where you’re heading? Sounds good.
Alexsondra, I love that you tied this into values. That gives me more to think about – thank you.
Laurie, your words are so moving. Thank you for sharing those wise and loving insights. I had the same idea Alexondra did – - Are you thinking of compiling grandma stories? I hope so!
Wayfaring Wordsmith – Thanks for the encouragement! You and Alexondra have me thinking…
I just received exciting news. I will be hosting online videos for one of the sites I write for! The FIRST person that I would love to interview is a remarkable 77 year “young” lady who never ceases to amaze me with her compassion for others and absolute passion for life! This would be the 4th time I am interviewing her in 13 years! I had her on my radio show and she was my best guest ever!!
p.s. You are SO blessed to have Granmyrt in your life! And yes…I would love to be adopted by her!!
Congrats, Debi! Very exciting!
Amazing! Do we share grandmothers? Seriously, these precepts are very similar to the ones my grandma always used. One more: your hair is your crowning glory;it doesn’t matter how expensive or fashionable your clothes are, if your hair is not well-groomed, you will not look nice. HAR- I’m now the age my grandmother was when she taught me these things. Grandmothers are special people, for sure!
I love that phrase “crowning glory” luigi! Wisdom is timeless, eh?
Luigi – I was on the wrong account- this is from Laurie! Thanks for your thoughts here. Best, L.
My Grandmother, Lizzie, died before I was ten, but she still guides me. She shut my mother up when I went on and on about the clothes she would make for my doll, knowing the value of dreaming; she mashed two chocolates together when Mom said I could have only one, saying, “Here, this is just one!”; she left a blanket on the porch glider during the depression in case a homeless person (again, near the railroad tracks) happened to need a spot to sleep. My daughter gave me the finest compliment when, admiring my charity work, said, “You’re channeling your grandmother.” I named my favorite doll, my dog and my sister for Lizzie.
marha, these stories are so touching. Lizzie sounds very dear.
Thanks for your comment. Some of us are so very blessed to have had such an influence, aren’t we?
I felt you were describingmy mother who died last year at 93.Mom was a gifted energetic woman who endured many losses but triumphed to sing a joyful song.Thank you for sharing.
They are “the greatest generation”.
Thanks, FrenchyNH – YES to the greatest generation.
Thanks for sharing your memories of your Granmyrt. It stirred up so many memories of both my maternal and paternal Grandmas. My Dad’s Mom lived near us and when I walked to grade school each day she’d be at her door to greet me and make sure I was safely on my way to school. I’d go to her house after school and stay with her until my Mom picked me up after her day of work as a hospital nurse. Grandma was a great baker and she always had a treat for me and often had a bowl of rice pudding for us to take home for dinner dessert. Oh, and she always had that little “six pack of CocaCola” in the “icebox” (remember those green bottles) for me and her other grandchildren… she, never touched “the stuff”. Those are just a few of many memories flooding back to me this morning. Now, on to my Mom’s Mom… That Grandma lived about 5 hours away and I only got to see her during the summer when my parents drove us kids there for a visit. I always wanted to stay on… and I did get to spend most summers there with Grandma and Grandpa. What a wonderful time I had! Grandma seemed to always be in the kitchen during the day cooking up the most wonderful things. Her homemade biscuits were my favorites … and the aroma of them just out of the oven bring tears to my eyes. And then when nighttime came, we’d sit on the couch together and chat about the day and she always had a smile on her sweet face and, did I say, gave the best backrubs to soothe a person before sleep. Ahhh, the memories…
Now that I’m expecting my first “GRANDchild”, I can only hope to pass along some of these warm feelings in the future.
Thanks again for sharing your story.
Loretta
This story reminds me so of my MOTHER, she passed away 7 years ago. So much of what you shared is like you were speaking about her. I never had the opprotunity of really knowing my grand-parents. I am now 67 and find that so many things I do in my life are just like how my MOM taught me. She was a wonderful woman, a hard worker, who also made sure there was food on the table for us…I now always ask myself how would my Mother handle a sistuation that affects me. So many times, I wish I would’ve listened. I miss her so much!! Thanks so much for sharing your story, Ellie
Loretta, I can feel it as you write it. Thanks so much for sharing these memories.
Your post is so wonderful. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you, texasrose – I appreciate you reading it.
While reading your Grandmother lessons , tears came in my eyes , reminded me of the lessons of my own Mother & Fathers ( They both passed away on the same day Father 100 & Mom was 95 , in 1999) .
So great of you to share with us , I will share this with my two daughters and other ladies in my life .
Kiran, thank you. How wonderful to have both parents to such ages!
I never had more than a casual relationship with either of my grandmothers, but I’m determined to be a great Nana to my only (so far) grandchild. My elderly neighbor was a substitute grandma for my sister and me. She took care of us during all of our mother’s visits to the hospital and she was so diligent to take us to Sunday School and to include us in all her church activities. I wouldn’t say that we were especially close, as in great conversations, but the way she lived her life influenced me. I didn’t know how important her investment in my life would be to my future, and sadly, I never showed my appreciation – she died when I was in high school – but I hope one day to hug her in heaven.
Thanks for the amazing story, It made me smile
Susan, I love that distinction of the way that your neighbor lived. How wonderful that she was able to share what mattered to her.
My grandmother (mother’s mother) was my summer parent when I was young. I spent time at the Rose Cottage with her and my cousins (boys). I learned to cope with the vagaries of men (ie. the cousins) by telling my grandmother my woes. She kept them to herself, but I always knew she had sat the boys down to learn a lesson about girls, just as she told me about boys. She taught me to sew, to read good books, and to love the garden as a refuge from pain, sorrow, and loss. I love my own garden now with her passiona and her common sense. I still remember the fish lady coming with her salmon and other goodies and Grandmother greeting her like a member of thew family. I remember her taking in the numerous dogs and cats that my family foisted upon her with loving care. There was no TV in those days. The radio was usually tuned in only at night. The telephone gave her instant access to family and friends, but it never ruled her. She had an inner sense of grace and propriety that let her run the household, but never hold herself away from those who needed her. My other grandmother (father’s mother) lived too far away to be much of an influence to me, but she taught me how to knot and crochet and keep up with the local and family gossip. Her Scottish ways taught me how to save and how to use what litttle we had in a careful way. She had raised six children during a depression and a war. Her advice was somewhat tart, but usually right on the button. I miss her also, but her stringent ways and tongue were not the kind ones I remember in my mother’s mother’s home. Kids today don’t know what a comfort the grandmothers of those times gave when knowledge was passed on by word of mouth and love was expressed in actions and kindnesses that have been long forgotten. I was lucky to know two such intelligent and diverse people. That is the legacy I remember. Carole Wallce
Carole, I love your phrase “her advice was somewhat tart”! What wonderful memories. Thank YOU.
Thanks for sharing that…My mother died when I was 3yrs…my brother 9mo…my dad raised us along with his mom “my Gram” and help from my mothers mother…I had such a happy childhood despite my loss and I owe it to my 2 Grams…I also remember the “hair is your crowning glory”..My maternal grandmother giving me backrubs well into my early 20′s and my paternal Gram “covering up” for me if I was out past curfew when my dad was working…thanks for opening the floodgates of wonderful memories..I’m 62 now and a Gram to 3 girls..I hope I will leave them with some wonderful Gram memories..I’m doing my best….Great thread….Pat
Saltwaterbabe, that’s part of why mine is so special too. Lost my mom way too early. Love those floodgates.
Laurie,Yes,I never realized the effect of losing my mother so early until I became a mother and it was also then when I became so grateful to my wonderful grandmothers for helping me become the woman I am today…I think grandmothers sometimes have a more profound effect in our development than mothers..or maybe that’s my experience since I was raised by them…at any rate Grandmas are very special …
Thank you for sharing these wonderful lessons from your grandmother. I enjoyed reading your post.
Thank you, Shirley.
What a lovely person your granmyrt is. In the end it is all about who we are and who we have touched in our lives that matters. To leave a legacy of love and life lessons is the most valuable inheritance one can leave family and friends.
Redlil – you make a wonderful point about legacy. Thank you.
Dear Laurie,
Wow, what an awesome idea to open a chapter about lesson from your grandmother. Thank you, we do need these kind of lessons to follow them and become better person in over life. I hadn’t have chance to see my grandmothers( neither my mother side nor my father’s). My father was 7 years old when he lost his mother and a few years after I believe he had lost his father too. I was one year old when I lost my grandmother(mom’s). And also I have to add that I was 25 years when I left my country and after that never had chance to have my own parents in my life. As you read, I missed a lot in my life and I have alway envied people who had/have grandmothers in their life. I heard many stories about grandmothers and I have always love to listen to these stories. I will be happy to see that you write a book about it. Thank you again that you opened this chapter in this site.
behieh – thank you for the encouragement!
I loved reading this post. Thanks for writing about what the generations before us have left. My Mom passed away at age 94 almost 95. We lived by the railroad track when I was young and I remember her feeding the men that were”riding the rails” when they came to our backdoor. We were very poor and I don’t remember having food left over from a meal but it seems she always had some food for them. I am so glad she is at peace in heaven now but she has visited me several times.
Angel Grace – how wonderful that you remain connected.
Laurie,
You have sparked many memories for me. I miss them both even though they have been gone for a very long time. My maternal Grandma had the stabilizing influence on me. The domestic part of me. She taught me to sew and had all of the little sayings down. She was a most unselfish woman and on her death bed, asked me how my children were. It touched me so because she had 27 great grandchildren when she passed but could remember all of them at 84. I also remember that “out house” when we visited. It’s funny to think of it now but even that had a homey feeling. My other grandmother was a flapper, the fashion icon and was a “handsome” woman. Tall, statuesque and very modern. Mimi, from her name Millie so she was our Thoroughly Modern Millie. Thanks for posting, the fond memories are coming back when I need them the most.
Moongoddess – now you are bringing back more memories for me. My grandmother is an amazing seamstress and, while I’ve never acquired her level of skill, I was so impressed by how careful she was before she ever threaded a needle – cutting, measuring, adjusting patterns. I would sit by the dining room table and watch her cut out patterns, fascinated by her precision. Thank you for that memory! And you had a flapper grandmother – how fun!
You have unearthed a treasure trove of memories of every child blessed with a Grandmother. They were the only people who spoiled us, encouraged us and loved us unashamedly. One of my grandmothers was the most industrious person I can remember. She washed quilts with a black kettle and clothing with a wringer washer. She planted a garden, picked the produce, canned the various vegetables and fruits, stacked the wood, built the fire in the stove, cooked the meals, ironed the clothes and “made a plate” for the train tramps at her back door. She made most of her clothes and all her quilts. She read her Bible every day and attended church faithfully. She maintained the prettiest flower gardens in town. She taught her grandchildren to be good so that people would think we were nice. She sparked our imagination by sharing stories of “the good old days!” She met most obstacles with a sense of humor. What was it like to be close to such a person? It was heaven!
Neva – how perfect: “It was heaven!” And the quilt memories! Wonderful.
Grand Inspiration
In 2003/4 I was an aquasize intructor for the City of Edmonton. These classes were scheduled throughout the day from early morning to evenings at community swimming pools throughout the city.
As an instructor I had my own pool location and times but I did do ‘subbing’ for other instructors. It did not take too many classes to realize that the spirit of the older crowd was what really made the job fun. Spontaneous themes could lead to planned costumes…yes, at the swimming pool. The witty and wry comments, the flat out acceptance of life, one’s self and others.
They made the pool time a social event. Exercise and a birthday celebration, Exercise and tea, Exercise and dessert exchange. At some of the pools a group would go out to meet at the nearby mall, at others it was possible to meet in the large staff kitchen. As a wisdom of life it seemed to sum up as
-There is always a very good reason for cake.-
I enjoyed this job so much I thought that I should let these wonderful people know just how marvelous they each and every one was…to
“The League of Extraordinary Women and a few Men
You, individually and as a group, are part of a very elite group of people. People that not only think about it but actually chose to live an active life and get out there and do it.
You inspire, astound and amaze me. You are a testament to spirit and humanity. I see that each and every one of you has lived all the experiences that life offers us and nothing has stopped you. You show up at these classes, regardless of the weather, you laugh, you sing, you exercise and you celebrate!
You get new knees, you get new hips and you just keep going!
You are extraordinary!
It is a scientific fact. Here are the statistics based on population of the world in 2003.
In the province of Alberta the number of people between the age of 65 and beyond is 325,500 people.
You are .006% of the population in the age group 60-75 of Alberta.
It reduces even further to .0003% if we use the population of Canada.
Now the total Canadian population is .45% of the world population.
So in the world you are part of .000007% of one percent of the entire world population!
And you do your part.
Thank you for all the wonderful time you share with me. It is a gift that I will cherish forever. “
It is years later and there are still stories that, to remember, bring me to tears, with laughter.
Extraordinary.
We now have 8 grand children and this is a wonderful code to live by, setting a grand example of behavior for the next generation. I lost most of my grandmothers before I was old enough to know them and one I didn’t really appreciate until our first daughter was born, loving her too little too late. My mother was this kind of Grandma and hopefully, in my new role as Grammy, I won’t drop the ball. Thanks for sharing.
I am grateful that you shared your Grandma with us.. I lost my best friend and mother recently… I only remember small images of my Dad’s mother.. I really don’t have that kind of female nurturing in my life now.. your story helps a great deal…