| Before and After: 5 style secrets to steal from your daughter | Hot Conversation |
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Reprinted from the book Steal This Style: Moms and Daughters Swap Wardrobe Secrets
What style tip have you stolen from your daughter? Post it below. The first 25 members to post will receive a FREE COPY of Sherrie’s new book, Steal This Style!
Posted in fashion & beauty, live it! lists.
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My daughter has taught me that a dynamic smile is the most elegant thing I can ever put on!
Diana–
That goes without saying (and I’m sure you have lovely white teeth).
My books center on the “style”…but certainly a bright smile reveals a great attitude, and outlook.
Diana, you are so right! A dynamic smile exudes confidence and confidence can make anything look fab! Kudos to you and your daughter for being true fashionistas!
Sorry – but let’s get real. Not even the most dynamic smile could save that before outfit!
My artsy college student daughter taught me to stop wearing big, loose tops to camouflage my weight. When she stopped wearing over-sized sweaters and hoodies, it transformed her style — and she had nothing to hide to begin with! For me, it’s a long-standing habit to break, going for comfort and not paying attention to style, especially when so many women around me in this small, rural community dress similarly. But I’m amazed at the difference some structure can make in how I look, not to mention how great I feel when my mirror shows me a little bit of class instead of a lot of frumpiness. LOL
Deb G. from Ohio
Deb-
This is a great start!
In “Steal This Style” you’ll see real women–all different –and how they all achieved style and comfort. It’s a huge issue in our more and more casualized world.
ACCESSORIES!!!!Size makes little difference with accessories,it’s one area that 10 extra pounds doesn’t affect the fit. Cute,stylish shoes and a focal pair of earrings or a great necklace can totally bring your look right into today’s fashion.
Accessories are critical–but knowing which ones is also important.
In “Steal This Style” I tried to focus more on good examples (and I wish I could have done a book solely on that). Study them carefully–look at them for quality, personality(never cute or silly)…
I am 51. My daughter is 22. She teases me often about my “80s” wardrobe. I’ll say “but it’s designer!” and she’ll retort that “Mom, it’s still almost 30 years old!” and she’s right! One look she really helped me with was ditching the waist-high thin-legged jeans and going for tastefully below the waist (which, by the way, are MUCH more comfortable), no back pockets, dark-dye, boot-cut jeans. Paired with a looser-cut yet defined knit blouse and a pair of heels, it is a dashing look!
I LOVE what your daughter advised about your jeans and your old 80′s wardrobe. You’ll see tons of “Never Cool” examples on the left page of my book–making those errors.Look out for regurgitated 80s looks in today’s store racks! Resolve to make that mistake–once.
Accessories and a little more fit – YES. Flip-flops – NO.
Flip flops have their place–at the beach…and resorts.
Flip flops have their place–at the beach…and resorts.
I agree! Flip flops look ghastly! Especially if you have bunions!
My daughter taught me to spend extra money on a really nice bag. I always carried cheap purses, that I thought looked nice. A beautiful quality bag really makes the outfit! It’s amazing how good it feels to carry a nice purse. I feel like a modern, classy lady!
Excellent advice. You’ll need more than one eventually..and they can vary for different occasions and outfits. It’s important you don’t wear the same bag with everything–everywhere.
One of the most important fashion tips my daughter taught me is how to accessorize. She has the distinctive ability to take a purse, belt or piece of jewelry and make it completely change the way an outfit looks. Just this weekend, we were doing some housecleaning and a box of her purses fell on the floor. I picked the box up and discovered a cute little turquoise purse that works really well with my new cute little black dress.
So true-
Your clothes can be relatively simple as neutral basics (classics with a twist). Your accessories (I emphasize that not all accessories are equal–and that too is a special ability to pick out great pieces) can change your outfits…
I must admit, I don’t have a daughter, but I do have a son, and a few nieces. My son likes to keep himself looking together (and smelling nice). I’ve checked with my son, before leaving out several times. He’ll give me a reluctant head shake, when it’s a no; when it’s a possible, a shrug of the shoulders, and when it’s a yes, an ok, with longer eye contact. It’s all good to me. I’m going back to school with a very limited wardrobe, and his input from time to time really helps. I have a few nieces and a slightly younger sister-in-law that I also plan to ask about how to put things together. I like to feel good about what I’m doing, and for me dressing is part of the mix.
Good for you for paying attention–
Remember too, that just because one is younger than you it doesn’t necessarily mean they know more. Seek out the young people you want to observe on the streets, in the shops, in your travels–everywhere!
I have learned not to try not to make everything match. Sometimes a scarf, necklace or handbag can pull together a couple of colors that seemingly should never work together!
Absolutely!
Although I don’t have a daughter, I’m a professor at a local college and ‘study’ the styles of the young women in my classes. At 56, it’s my goal to look current without looking too youthful or arty.
Beth-
Hopefully the young women in your class offer good examples for you..
Doing that plus all the other ideas I have in “Steal This Style” for other inspiration–are key to the modern ageless goal you’ve set for yourself.
I applaud your intelligent observation.
The best tip I received was to never tuck my t-shirt or shirt in my pants or skirt, also never buy jeans that sit just below the waist.
Jeans should be below the waist…how do you wear them?
Ooo – well, I disagree here.
I hate the style of wearing them below the natural waistline (BTW).
Remember when the goal was to look as leggy as possible? Think thigh-high cuts on swimsuits and dancewear. So why have we suddenly reverted to a leg-shortening BTW fit? I rarely see a pair that doesn’t make women look long-torsoed (sp?) or stumpy-legged.
I’ll take mine at the waist please. Sitting anywhere else feels unnatural and is not a flattering look on anyone over 100 lbs.
Janice-I always buy jeans that sit slightly below the waist. The fit is better (I’m very short-waisted) and with a boot leg on them, they hang better. (The key word here is ‘slightly’ – it’s not the below the waist style we saw young people wear several years ago where so much of their anatomy was on display.)
i believe in that too, unless you are 5 foot ten and weigh 130 pounds!
Luckily I have 3 dau! I have stolen a black 3/4 sleeve jersey top with a black & white print skirt from one of them!
“hope it looks great on you–
one think to keep in mind particularly if you’re light skinned– as you age. Black in certain fabrications can be a harsh color next to the face and thereby aging.
My daughter advised me to buy new bras, saying, “Mom, the girls need some giddy-up. Took me bra-shopping at the Gap.
Don’t be too fussy with everything matching. Sometimes plain solid colors are best with just a little jewelry. All one color is good with just a splash of color.
Very true–too fussy is a tell-tale “older” look…
Simplicity in color and form, understatement, minimalism, are too underrated.
I thought comfortably loose clothes would hide my sins. But my daughters taught me that a little more shape in my clothing really did add a little more shape to me!
My daughter taught me that the way to update my style was to wear large, bright colored handbags and lighter lipstick.
Do not be afraid of color! You can mix silver and gold ….DO not wear clothes too big…wear them to fit.
My daughter once told me that I was a “funky Talbots”…I took that as a compliment! I feel best when I’m put together simply and can do that with fun sweaters and blouces (no puffy sleeves for me), skirts, and boots or metalic sandals. I’m an artist and when I find a jacket that has a great look, it feels like a piece of art to me.
Gina-
It’s hard to give comment, since I haven’t met you.
But I caution about items of clothing that in themselves look like “art” unless they are authentic (a real Asian jacket, Moroccan etc), rather than manufactured (ie from Talbots, Chico’s etc).Both my books give examples of this…
Thank you – an Asian or Moroccan jacket would be fabulous! Chico’s pretty much scares me and I am not comfortable in their “look” – big bold prints of ugly colors. The boyfriend jacket seems to be making a comeback (?)….and for some reason I saved a linen one from the Gap from quite a few years ago that I just haven’t been able to throw away. I’m going to get it out and see if it works.
Gina-
The “boyfriend” jacket seems to be hard to pin down–but if it smacks of the 80s it’s time to unleash it. Glad you get what I’m saying about jackets as “art”. So few make the cut. The pretense is often seen on the racks of boomer stores (like Chico’s)–as they think that many women over 50 want to look creatively individualistic–and this is their quick-fix look. You described them well.’Hope the ones photographed in my books help in the visual example of what works.
where can I find the black skirt and brown jacket. love it!
I’m not sure what you’re asking–
Are they in my books?
I love my 28 year old daughters swingin’ earrings. I can’t wear EVERYTHING she wears, but I modify the look to suit me. Dangly earrings make me feel young and fun. Bright colors do too. (age 54)
I watch my daughters and daughters-in-law, and wish I could attempt things they do. I try to remain current, but no matter what I do, I end up with sneakers or equally dull and boring shoes because of arthritis, multiple joint replacements, back surgeries and other health issues that started attacking when I was in my late 40s. Any suggestions for shoes that can hold a small lift and provide cushioning for painful feet without looking like lifeboats? WJ
Jean
In “Steal This Style” I show comfortable shoes, and resources at all price points. Sneakers like Nike (pick neutral low key silver/white colored combos for minimizing the foot), or Puma (I love their brown/beige color combo, or simply black/white) and the “sneakers” made by Prada can be very comfortable and good looking. Arch supports and other aids can be inserted for greater stability. Tod’s lace-up walking shoes are another favorite (worth the $ investment).
I have taken my daughters spanx, what a difference they can make!!
My daughter had bought some new glasses and I really liked them on her.
They were so different from what I was used to wearing. When I say “used to wearing”, I mean that every time for the past 10 years that I needed a new prescription, I just ordered the exact frame again. Well, I was finally able to step away from that old look with her help and I think the glasses I wear now give me a younger look. The glasses have made me a little braver when it comes to chosing makeup and jewelry, too. I tell my daughter that my glasses are like ” Clark Kent’s glasses”. When she responds with, “Clark who?” , I remember my age.
So funny!..and it’s about time you made that youthful improvement.
Your face is the first place people focus after they take in your general impression. My book describes the glasses I favor–and those that age.
It’s one of the biggest mistakes women make in their appearance.
Less is more. When you have finished dressing, take something off. Usually this is jewellery. And play up your eyes or your mouth, but not both at this age. Elegance is understated.
All true-Kakou!
..and women should not be afraid of minimalism (an ultra simplified look with little or no accessories)–it need not be boring.In fact I much prefer it to adding the wrong or simply meaningless “stuff” to your outfit.
Sherrie
Working with one’s daughter to “update” our closets is a very cool thing, in theory. I guess it would truely depend on the daughter’s fashion. Right?
Olivia-
You’re right-on.
To assume “a daughter” has better taste or style, may be totally wrong if the assumption is made merely because she’s younger.It’s a “case-by-case” situation.
Best,
Sherrie
My daughters staged a “jean intervention” as a Christmas gift a couple of years ago. They took me shopping and convinced me to go from too short, straight leg “Mom” jeans to lower riding, longer, boot cut jeans. A much better look.
That’s the look and cut that suits 99% of women. Best in dark blue–it’s represented often in “Steal This Style”. ‘Glad your daughters “intervened”!
Low rise jeans don’t fit me right. I still need the higher waist (below natural waist) and either boot cut or straight leg works on my figure, but I don’t have a daughter.
I guess I am too late to get the free copy of your book, but who cares! One of the best compliments I got recently was from my 26 year old daughter….She said, Mom, You have got more stylish clothes than I do! And More accessories! I told her, Honey, when you get older , you aren’t as afraid to try new things, and just go for it! Plus I have the time to really follow the trends and pick and choose what will look good on me and not look like I am trying to look younger…which I am not! I love the freedom of my age…I love comfortable shoes that have style…. and versatile basic clothes that I mix and match with a variety of accessories that my daughter often wants to borrow….fun, fun, fun,!!
a colleagues daughter took her shopping. this 63 yr old woman is very short and very round after the shopping spree she is the best dressed woman in the office daughter said “look in the mirror mom. If you are comfortable, wear it!” she now wears tapered flowered pants that I, at 5’9″ shy away from with solid jackets and tops that just touch her hips. she was into capris before me. She looks younger and wonderful and she found fashionable shoes that she is able and willing to pay for that don’t hurt her feet. I
Yay! I just received my own copy of your book, Steal This Style! Love it! It has great before and after pictures. I also like all the examples of handbags, shoes and accessories. So far, I have only looked at all the pictures, but, I can’t wait to start reading it soon…Thankyou!
Gramma-
Sorry not to respond sooner! Mother’s Day is coming up and hopefully there will be many lucky gals receiving it and sharing it’s pictures–but very importantly too–all the words.
All best,
Sherrie (www.sherriemathieson.co
Well, it is sometimes the other way around, but what “style tip” I learned from my daughter is to not wear so much black!
Of course, I am part of the generation who believed that black would take off 30 lbs visually! LOL! (Like tucking 10 lbs of potatoes into a 5 lb black sack, huh?) Now, I owned a lot of black clothing items due to my participation in many music groups and bands. Black and white was a basic foundation for them. But now as I am getting a little older, I am learning that black doesn’t have to be the only neutral. I’ve always loved bright colors, but didn’t wear much besides red. I’ve been substituting my former blacks with navy blue, and find they are much more flattering to me. I can’t wear heels anymore after a knee injury, so also finding cute flats by shopping with her has been fun.
Hi MM!
Some suggestions-
1-For a fresh look using navy (absolutely agreed–so much better than black) in summer-
mix in lots of white, light blue, and for color punch use orange (not red–too obvious).
2- Buy black patent accessories–great all year ’round (and in rain too!).
Best, Sherrie (www.sherriemathieson.com)
I didn’t steal it – she gave it to me: ear cuffs! When I turned 40 my daughter gave me the first one and now I wear them all the time … to me they are a reminder that my daughter thinks I’m a “cool mom” (her words 16 years ago… she is now 30 and the teens at church think we’re both pretty cool)