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9 ways to make new friends after 50 Hot Conversation

I’ve had friends either passed on or moved from the area – and I have had to start all over again.  I’ve always longed for at least one person to be really close to, something akin to a sister, as I was an only child.  So far I’m still missing that, but I’m reasonably occupied with friends.

Women 50+ Know This: Favorite Recommendations for Managing Adult Children, Sex After 50, Divorce, Giving Back, Spirituality, Great Books and the Perfect Lotion for Dry Skin

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  1. I belonged to a Spanish book discussion group and saw a woman whom I thought seemed very nice.  I found out she was from Chile, and as it happened I was looking for a bilingual cookbook, and asked her if she had one or could recommend one.  She had one and we met for coffee and have been friends since.
  2. Another time I was at a party and noticed another woman and her husband were sitting in the kitchen, so I joined them for a while, she and I liked each other, and exchanged numbers.
  3. Another woman I met in a meetup group and when she learned I was moving to her neighborhood, gave me her number.  Two of the women are married and so we don’t see each other every week, but visit occasionally.
  4. I also joined a group of women over 50, started by someone from France who wanted to make some friends.  We’re a diverse group of about 8, with nothing in common at first glance to draw us together, but we are getting to know each other by going to dinners, movies, meeting in homes to just hang out, and it works.
  5. Women 50+ Know This: Favorite Recommendations for Managing Adult Children, Sex After 50, Divorce, Giving Back, Spirituality, Great Books and the Perfect Lotion for Dry Skin

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  6. Some may advise you to join similar interest groups, and that sometimes works but can miss the mark when others have just come to improve a skill with no other agendas.  But at least you’re interested, and who knows.  A long-term group is better than a 4 week class.
  7. Meetup.com exists to promote events for like-minded people.  There’s something for everyone, you sign up online and meet in the real world.  New people keep joining as others drop out, so you’re always seeing new faces.
  8. If you’re too tired after work, find a group that does something you like on the weekend.  Hiking, photography, spirituality, crafts, language, movies, pets, play reading, board games, book discussion, foodies…this barely scratches the surface.
  9. I’ve learned to be very open to speaking to people and finding if there may be common ground without coming on too strong.
  10. And don’t rule out groups for mature women. 

This list was originally posted in response to this conversation.

Women 50+ Know This: Favorite Recommendations for Managing Adult Children, Sex After 50, Divorce, Giving Back, Spirituality, Great Books and the Perfect Lotion for Dry Skin

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Posted in live it! lists, work & money.

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24 Responses

  1. persimian persimian says

    Crystalli:  Your advice is great.  I was actually able to make friends with my neighbors – just by talking to them!!!  Making new friends was part of my “bucket list” for this year and it’s helped tremendously.  I went to meetup.com and was surprised at the many groups that are in my neighborhood alone that I want to join. Thanks for the info.

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    • crystalli crystalli says

      Wow!  I never expected such a response.  I thought I was just being longwinded, (and I was).  :-)   But no matter.  As long as someone found something good in it.  Thanks for the feedback.

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  2. Generic Image suebv says

    I found meetup last Spring and have enjoyed meeting los of people and doing many different things that interest me in my area.  It’s great!

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    • crystalli crystalli says

      Meetup is great.  Since it wasn’t explained clearly to me at the beginning, I thought at first that it was  another online group, where you don’t actually meet anyone in person, but for sure it’s not.

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    • Generic Image suebv says

      No it surely isn’t!  it’s been great to get me out of the house and meeting people and trying new events and enjoying events that I would not have gone to as a single.

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  3. Generic Image suz55 says

    Hi, Crystalli!

    Thanks for your list! I am starting over at 55, and starting to make new friends.  Thanks so much for the tip on Meetup.com – it sounds like just what I was looking for!  suz55

    1 like

    • crystalli crystalli says

      It’s nice that a number of people such as yourself have made use of this post.  Thanks for the feedback and have fun!

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  4. sudonym sudonym says

    Meetup.com is indeed great! I am trying to make new friends – something I don’t do very quickly. Meetups really help me from getting depressed and lonely while I’m trying to find those special people I can really connect with.

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    • crystalli crystalli says

      Exactly.  It’s a fantastic tool.  BTW, I just love your member name.

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      • Generic Image CatheAnn says

        I went to Meetup.com and signed up for 3 groups.  After reading the information and finding ones that are close to my area, I was glad I read your post and followed your suggestion.  I am very excited about the opportunity to meet some new people that live in my area.  Already RSVP’d for one event this month and a checking the calendar for a couple more.  Great suggestion and a great big thank you for the lead.

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  5. adniL adniL says

    meetup.com sounds nice,I think I will give it a try =}

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    • crystalli crystalli says

      Good for you!  And if one isn’t to your liking, you can always join another, or several if you have time.

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      • rakoon16 rakoon16 says

        I recently joined classmates.com.  Wow, I was amazed at how many classmates remembered me and how interested we are in each other.  It has also led me to contacting someone who lived 3 doors down from me when I was 12 years old, and another person who I had lost contact with since I was 13. We’re talking of people I haven’t been in contact with for 50 years and we talk as if we just left eachother last week. Thanks for the info of meetup.com. I’m sure going to try that and will let you know what happened there.  Thanks to internet there are so many sights available, and people who are willing to share their experiences.

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      • crystalli crystalli says

        It’s great that you’ve been able to reconnect again after these many years.  Sites keep multiplying like rabbits, but it sure has it’s good aspects.  Yes, let me know what happens with meetup after you’ve tried it long enough to know if it works for you.  So far everyone has had success with it.

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      • Generic Image kygal says

        HI rakoon16,

         

        Another great site I’ve found for connecting with old classmates is Facebook.  Some of my classmates started a group for the ones who graduated with me (after our 35th reunion!….oh Lord, am I really that old?) and it has expanded into others starting a group for my elementary school and now a memorial page for the classmates and teachers we’ve lost.  You should give it a try…and the best part is it’s free!

        Mary

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  6. Kathleen, The Savvy VA Kathleen, The Savvy VA says

    Thanks so much for this article. My business is almost 100% online and as wonderful as that can be, it can also be isolating. I clicked on meetup.com and found numerous groups in my area that I have joined. 

     

    Kathleen

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  7. Kathleen, The Savvy VA Kathleen, The Savvy VA says

    Thanks so much for this article. My business is almost 100% online and as wonderful as that can be, it can also be isolating. I clicked on meetup.com and found numerous groups in my area that I have joined. 

     

    Kathleen

    0 like

    • debbie-deb debbie-deb says

      First, let me say, if you live in St. Louis and are looking for fun, over 50, girl friends, my close girlfriend and I welcome you! :) We’re married, but we still love our ‘just girls’ only time!

      Second, yes, I too joined a group—St. Louis Friends Meet-up (found it online). It’s been pretty cool for my husband and me so far.  From that first group, we joined a ‘Dine on a Dime’ group, ‘Livin’ Life to the Fullest’ group and just recently a ‘Dance’ group.  We’re still fairly new to the groups. but have had a few meet-ups already and met some nice folks in, or for the most part, around our age.  Hoping that in time, a few ‘girlfriends’ will form. I’m just not ready for the ‘old fart’ and boring mode. I still want to experience more, good, girl friends giggles, nonsense and fun ;) -

      1 like

  8. MrsB MrsB says

    I love Meetup.com! Whether it’s knitting, exercise, beach combing, or hikes, the meetup.com network links up people, for free, who are interested in the same kinds of activities.

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  9. texasrose texasrose says

    Thanks for the link to Meetup.com — it made my day!  I immediately found two groups that look interesting, and that I never expected to see / would have found otherwise.  Awesome.

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  10. Jaki -- fiftyfab.com Jaki -- fiftyfab.com says

    I think this post is really valuable.It is my observation that many women 50+ are looking to make new friends because:

    • They had their head down at work and raising children when they were younger and did not have the time or the energy to grow and maintain many friendships. This is particularly true for single mums. Been there and done that and when I raised my head at 50 I found I was lonely.
    • Recently divorced women may lose friends in the divorce process. You can try to have joint custody of your buddies but sometimes it just does not    work out. The problem is other people’s discomfort with the situation but no matter what the reason you can lose some folks on the way to the divorce court.
    • As we age we seek deeper and more meaningful relationships and so we may let some older but less satisfying relationships slip away as we seek the the new ,more meaningful ones. If I have to have one more totally boring surface conversation with anyone, I swear I will loose my mind.I just don’t have any interest in chat anymore. I want good crack( an Irish expression meaning a great talk)                                                         The good news is new friendshipa are available as Cystalli shows us.Some people also find their way back to old  freindships. “retro relationships” and I think that as the pressure of adult roles eases, women feel a natural urge to spend time with people who knew them before they were consumed by those roles. To be known again as Sue, May, or Karen, not as CFO, Mrs. Smith, or even Mom—to be reminded of the self contained, and perhaps buried, deep in the role –plays of the past years.                                                                                                                             Thanks again Cyrstalli for this post …good food for thought and great advice.

     

    2 like

    • crystalli crystalli says

      I think much of the above had been true of me, in addition to being part of the “sandwich generation;”  crushed between elderly, ill parents and family responsibilities.  Divorce can certainly decimate your population of friends.  On top of that, I relocated early in life from one coast to the other, so friends I used to have aren’t accessible anymore. While I don’t have retro relationships from the past, I do have friends who only know me as “myself” and not the daughter, wife, or mother of someone, or they know me as the mother of adults.

       

      And thank you for your positive feedback.

       

       

      1 like

  11. Choice Choice says

    Service organizations are another way to meet new people and learn about new things.  They usually have informative meetings and their purpose is to serve others, either through fundraising to help the needy or support projects such as cancer research; local hospitals, etc. I have met some really wonderful people this way and the results of the group leave you feeling that you have accomplished something to help someone else!

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